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 Please Help Me Help My Friend. |
 Oct 2 2006, 11:15 AM
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 4 Joined: 27-September 06 Member No.: 2,124  |
My friend recently put her dog to sleep and is feeling terrible guilt. Her little boy was a rescue with a history of abuse. He was never the friendliest of dogs to strangers, but in the last few years he had started losing his sight and had become much worse, biting anyone who came near. My friend is a widow and her little dog wouldn't allow any visitors in her house. He had even started to nip at her.
Two weeks ago some old friends were coming for a visit and she took her boy to the vet to make sure it would be okay to board him while they were there. The vet told her things were only going to get worse and he recommended she have her doggy put to sleep. She went along with his advice and now is consumed with guilt. She says he wasn't really sick, just old and grouchy. How do I help her? He was isolating her from her friends and I don't feel he was having a quality life anymore. Can anyone tell me how to comfort her? |
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Oct 7 2006, 12:16 PM
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#2
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 463 Joined: 19-May 05 Member No.: 892 |
Okay, I haven't put my 2 cents in as of yet, but I now see that Susan was upset by Daisy's mom's reply, so now I feel the need to.... Susan, Please believe me when I say that your friend should not have any feelings of guilt about her choice to euthanize her dog. She rescued what is considered an 'unadoptable' dog and gave him 5 years of love and security with her, and with his personality (from the very start) that would be very difficult for him to have found....in other words, single adult homes with no children or other animals are nearly impossible to find for animals like this, so he would have likely been killed years ago without her gracious heart (this I know because I have worked in animal rescue for years!) [quote] I understand your feelings about euthanizing a dog for convenience--I think all of us here agree to that. What would you have done? How much of her life should she be expected to sacrifice for her dog |
When we bring an animal into our lives as part of our permanent family, it is our responsibility to sacrifice as much of our lives as is necessary to fulfill that 'contract' we made with them when we brought them home. However, I don't think that this was the case with your friends dog, and that your words may be being taken out of context. This was not a 'convenience killing'. This dog was old, blind, and obviously very afraid and unhappy...that is no life for this dog. Your friend did what was best for her dog, and obviously your friends vet saw that this dogs life was no longer a good one. Regardless of what Daisy's mom says, I have a hard time believing that any vet would ever be like 'ya know what, lets just kill the grumpy #%*@!' There may be a vet like that somewhere in this world, but I just don't see that this was the case here. I assume she had probably used this vet since she got the dog, and her vet probably knew that she would have a hard time making that decision (since she hadn't already) without his advice on the subject, (I also speak from experience on that end since I have several years, and three different clinics, of vet tech work under my belt!)
As for Daisy's mom's reply...disregard it. Ya know, I have sat back and watched her judgemental and critical replies pop up time after time and I am personally getting pretty tired of them....so know that it isn't just you She has even replied in that same manner to me, which is rediculous considering my life is dedicated soley to saving animals (in all aspects) and education of the importance of spay/neuter, adoption, and fostering. She doesn't even have a pet at this time..says it's because her child is to young to respect one, which I can understand....but then wants to bash everyone else who is at least trying to make a difference in an animals life. In her mind, if you can't do everything perfect, then you shouldn't have one. While that would be wonderful in a 'perfect world', we don't live in one. I agree that when you bring an animal into your home, obviously they should be taken great care of, but in a world where animals are dying by the millions in our shelters each year, any animal that is taken from that environment and shown love and kindness for any length of time before his/her end comes is lucky. I assure you these homeless babies would be extremely happy with far less than perfection! They just want to know what it's like to be loved. Maybe Daisy's mom should spend less time preaching and making people feel like crap and more time volunteering at her local kill shelter....maybe then she would be more appreciative of people who are willing to stick their necks out to at least give an unwanted animal a home it would otherwise have never known! That's a heck of a lot more than she's doing!! This board is to support people who are suffering from the pain of a devestating loss. They don't come here for a lecture or to be made to feel worse...which she seems to find some kind of pleasure in. I'm sorry to use your post as my source to vent, but I am just getting tired of seeing her pour salt in others wounds time after time after time.
One last note....
[quote]People who are old and grouchy generally want to stay around and would appreciate loving care, as opposed to a quick end for the convenience of others.
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As for Daisy's mom's reply...disregard it. Ya know, I have sat back and watched her judgemental and critical replies pop up time after time and I am personally getting pretty tired of them....so know that it isn't just you She has even replied in that same manner to me, which is rediculous considering my life is dedicated soley to saving animals (in all aspects) and education of the importance of spay/neuter, adoption, and fostering. She doesn't even have a pet at this time..says it's because her child is to young to respect one, which I can understand....but then wants to bash everyone else who is at least trying to make a difference in an animals life. In her mind, if you can't do everything perfect, then you shouldn't have one. While that would be wonderful in a 'perfect world', we don't live in one. I agree that when you bring an animal into your home, obviously they should be taken great care of, but in a world where animals are dying by the millions in our shelters each year, any animal that is taken from that environment and shown love and kindness for any length of time before his/her end comes is lucky. I assure you these homeless babies would be extremely happy with far less than perfection! They just want to know what it's like to be loved. Maybe Daisy's mom should spend less time preaching and making people feel like crap and more time volunteering at her local kill shelter....maybe then she would be more appreciative of people who are willing to stick their necks out to at least give an unwanted animal a home it would otherwise have never known! That's a heck of a lot more than she's doing!! This board is to support people who are suffering from the pain of a devestating loss. They don't come here for a lecture or to be made to feel worse...which she seems to find some kind of pleasure in. I'm sorry to use your post as my source to vent, but I am just getting tired of seeing her pour salt in others wounds time after time after time.
One last note....
[quote]People who are old and grouchy generally want to stay around and would appreciate loving care, as opposed to a quick end for the convenience of others.
I have zero fear of death...I actually embrace the idea when my time comes...so for me personally, when I get old and grouchy (as the grouchiness usually comes from a general unhappiness) I would much rather pass on where I can enter into my eternal life in Heaven and be free from all my earthly ailments. Just another point that Daisy's mom's opinion is just that...an opinion...don't let it get to you!
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Posts in this topic
Susan-Molly's mom Please Help Me Help My Friend. Oct 2 2006, 11:15 AM
Simba's Daddy It's very nice of you to care and look for hel... Oct 2 2006, 11:31 AM JOANNE Susan I agree you are a really good friend to be w... Oct 2 2006, 11:59 AM Susan-Molly's mom Thank you both for your kind responses. How gener... Oct 2 2006, 04:12 PM JOANNE SUSAN MOLLY'S MOM, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE LOS... Oct 2 2006, 04:52 PM Daisy's Mommy Don't read this if you are sensitive, since I ... Oct 4 2006, 08:56 PM 5catsmom I generally don't like to stick my neck out an... Oct 4 2006, 10:43 PM JOANNE 5CATSMOM: AMEN TO WHAT YOU WROTE.
JOANNE RAGGS MOM Oct 5 2006, 01:26 PM Susan-Molly's mom Again, thank you all for taking the time to answer... Oct 7 2006, 09:13 AM Daisy's Mommy To Kim,
Your personal attack on me was quite surp... Oct 7 2006, 01:57 PM Kim R. Although I don't want to turn this into a foru... Oct 7 2006, 03:31 PM JOANNE The point of this site is to make people feel bett... Oct 7 2006, 04:34 PM Daisy's Mommy Kim,
I'm glad that you responded in the hosti... Oct 7 2006, 05:30 PM
LS Support differences in opinion always reign in with this a... Oct 7 2006, 07:14 PM |
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