Goodbye My Friend Cleo, of 18 yrs who passed on 7/28/06 Options

[RIT & Cleo]

Hello everyone. I am very thankful to have found this site. It was been very comforting to me.

I lived with a wonderful male cat named Cleo for 18 years. We had a long full life together. His kidney's started failing 1 1/2 yrs ago - he was in the hospital for hydration in Aug 2005, but given his advanced age, I did not want to do anything extraordinary. He had lost half his body weight. I took extra good care of him this last year, so we had almost a another full year together.

I am very glad to have been off of work on vacation this last whole week as I had lots of quality time with Cleo. He seemed to be doing OK, but very clingy. On Thursday, my birthday, I came home from dinner with friends and he was very weak. Did he wait until the day was over on purpose? He could barely stand up and walk - it was as if he was paralyzed. I spent all night with him on the floor, petting him, and telling him it was OK to let go. I kept hoping and praying he would die naturally, so I would not have to make the decision. Last year, I had made my criteria list of when it was time to have him euthanized...it was so hard to accept it may be time.

Cleo did make it through the night, but was so weak...I held him for one last time on my chest at home and he put his head under my chin and purred. I took him to the vet, who was kind and gentle. They had a special room set up like a living room. I held him one last time on my chest as the vet gave him the injection. He was looking at me, sighed, and then laid his head down.

I know it was his time and it was the right thing to do. But, I feel so sad and alone. The house is so quiet. I keep thinking I see him, his gray form in all his favorite spots. I also keep hearing his meow. Phantom sounds.

It was helped to read all of your stories. It helps me put words to how I am feeling. It is OK to cry and grieve. Cleo was my loving companion for 18 years, such a big part of my life and it is a great loss.

As everyone says, you will know when it is time...time to let go, time to grieve, time to believe in the Rainbow bridge, and hopefully when time to get a another cat companion...

Thank you for reading my story and sharing in my loss.

RIT

[RIT & Cleo]

Ahhh...the wonder of the internet. Connections and comfort from afar. Thank you all for your very kind words. I keep reading and re-reading, crying and crying today. Our connection through grief and the thoughts of our beloved pets is so strong.

I miss Cleo so much. I do keep thinking of the sad last moments and try to focus on the many happy memories. I keep telling myself, there is nothing to regret. I did all the "right things" for both of us. It's almost selfish to have wanted more than 18 yrs given his illness.

I am already thinking of sharing my life with another feline friend. At times I feel "guilty," but your words help me see how much I have to offer. And, it would honor Cleo's life. Thanks for helping me realize this, especially Barbara/5Catsmom.

I keep hoping for some signs too...like the nighlight flicking on from Scooter? A small message that Cleo is OK now and will always be with me in spirit. Cleo too loved to drink from the tub faucet...too funny how similar cats can be!

Thinking of Scooter, Simba and Cleo running around together somewhere makes me smile amidst the tears. Yes, they are telling each other about us - their caregivers and best friends!

RIT