2 Weeks Ago Tonight Options

[blackjacksmom]

Am feeling completely lost in the world and came across your site. Not sure why I'm posting, but here it is. I lost my beloved pup Blackjack, who was with me 15 years, two weeks ago tonight. It all happened so fast. He got sick one day, had emergency surgery, made it through, stayed at the hospital for a few days, came home for a few days and was going to get better. But he took a turn for the worse and we had to take him back to the hospital and said goodnight that night.

I haven't been able to eat. I can't really sleep and when I do it's in his bed. I can barely function and have just these past couple of days forced myself to take short walks. When I have had to go out I feel like I'm seeing the world with foggy glasses. Everything seems surreal. I keep going through every emotion and thought that seems possible from 'he's not really gone' to 'i'm so mad' to 'he's in a better place' to 'i killed him' to 'i was a terrible mother' to 'he had a great life' in no particular order.

Again, I'm not sure why I'm posting other than I thought it might make me feel better. It doesn't. I guess the only thing that would make me feel better is the impossible. I'm so sorry for ALL of your losses. SO sorry. I had no idea it would hurt this much and I feel for anyone who is feeling the way I do right now. Thank you all for sharing your stories so I know that these feelings are 'normal'.

[Debbi]

I am feeling the same way that you are feeling. It has only been 5 days for me.
At times, it seems unbearable. I took a couple of days off work and each day woke up and asked how I was going to get through each hour of the day. I found this site today and it has helped. I also found a chat room that has been helpful.
Talking for me has always helped me work through pain, so the chat room helps a lot. Sometimes I am typing and crying, but I know I have to get through that to feel better. I bought the book, "The Loss of a Pet" and am reading it little by little.
It describes all of the feelings that you are describing and helps with getting through them. I go back to work tomorrow and am not sure how that will go, but I know I have to try. I still have Nugget's things out, his tennis ball, his bed in the living room. He used to sleep on the futon in the spare room and the blanket he used smells like him and that comforts me. Funny, he used to be the one to always comfort me when I was down, now what do I do?