Sudden Loss Of Beloved Cat, dealing with grief Options

[belovedsandor]

I am filled with saddness. my heart feels very heavy.

my precious, sweet little darling kitty, Sandor, died very suddenly at 5:40 am on Sunday. It only been about 36 hours since lost him.

He was a magnificent creature, gray with a beautiful white chest and white paws with a white spot on his nose.

I rescued him from the animal shelter in north carolina about 10.5 years ago.
I took him everywhere I moved from north carolina to maryland.

Sandor was there for me through my many losses over the past 10 years. He would follow me to bed everynight as though he was guarding of me. He was very warm and very loving.

My beloved Sandor loved interacting with me. He loved it when I got down on the floor and petted him and kissed him and talked to him.

Right now I feel so very overwhelmed with grief and an aching feeling for him I can bearly tolerate it.

When at home I feel very lonely without his strong presence.

It was 4:40 am on Sunday that I awoke to a loud scratching sound. I turned in the light to investigate and then I saw my poor baby lying on the floor right next to my closet, a safe spot for him.

His poor little head was done flat on the floor. He was panting 1,000 miles an hour and moaning. I knew in my heart he would not make it through the night.

Yet, inspite of feeling very drugged from my medication I managed to put him the carrier case and drive to the emergency animal hopsital.

They took him right into the back room. Meanwhile, all I wanted to do was sleep and it was freezing in the waiting room. I lay down on a hard, wooden bench and waited.

Shortly the vet came out and said the progonsis was poor. She said she gave him oxygen right away. Then she went back to see if there was anything she could do to save my baby but not.

The vet came out with tears in her eyes and told me he was gone. I was stunned, in disbelief!!!

The vet said my beloved cat has a stroke or polmunary embolism.

I went into see him and pet him and kiss him and it was so hard to leave him just lying there. his tinly, red tongue was sticking out and his eyes were half open.

I couldn't believe it was him lying there lifeless. I rubbed him behind his ears the way he always loved it as though he would respond as usual but no reponse.

I explained to my two other cats that sandor was gone to cat heaven and would not come back again. I ache for their loss. particulary Agi, who had a close companionship with sandor.

Agi looked around for sandor last night and this morning, looking in closets. I felt so sorry for her.

the loss of sandor has left a huge whole in my home. It feels so very lonely without him their and that is very painful. Another loss for me, the loss of feeling happy and complete in my own home.

Kathy

[Emily's Mom]

Kathy,

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. Everyone here has either been thru is going thru what you are.

Although there no magic words that I can say right now, please know that we are here for you and that talking about it really does help.

I lost my dog Emily in May of this year to kidney failure so I know only to well the emotional roller coaster you are on. You are not going crazy,although you feel like it at times.

There days when you feel like you can't go on but somehow you do. You feel like nobody understands the hurt and the pain that your feeling but trust me, we do.

Finding this site was a Godsend for me. Everyone here is just wonderful and so understanding. Please know that you are among friends here and that we understand exactly what you are going thru.

I searched everywhere and I couldn't find any pet loss support groups in my area to attend, (because we live in such a rural area) I did find a book and bought it, called:

Coping with Sorrow on the loss of your Pet: Moria Anderson,M.Ed.

I'm not saying this will help it's just a suggestion.

Take care of yourself and try to remember the good times you had with Sandor.

Also, don't forget had it not been for you rescuing him from the shelter he wouldn't have known the love and care that you gave him for the past 10.5 years.

Your friend in grief,