The Little Things Seem To Be The Hardest... Options

[mmholt]

Moving her crate out of the house. Washing her blankies and stuffed toys. Waiting for them to call so I can pick up her ashes. Knowing that when I vacuum next, that will be the last time I vacuum up her hair. These are the things that make me cry. I didn't cry when I saw Sissy lying lifeless in her kennel. I didn't cry when my husband zipped her into a body bag to keep her safe until we could get to the crematory. I feel like I am going crazy. I just want to stay in bed all day, forever.

I keep playing that whole night over and over again in my mind. I'd just gotten out of the shower, and I realized it was way past the dogs' bedtime. We sent our son out to bring the dogs in. I mentioned to my husband that Sissy was due for her shots next month, and then our son came in and said "Daddy, Sissy won't get up." Before all the words were out of his mouth, I knew - my son's almost 14, and hasn't said "Daddy" in years. And I could see in his eyes that he knew she was dead but didn't want to believe it. I think a part of him was sure that his Daddy could fix it, like Daddy always could fix everything. But not this time.

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[5catsmom]

I was a nurse, and remember taking care of dead babies and people, and not feeling that grief that I felt for my pets. It was sad, and sometimes I cried with people, but not like I cried for my pets. Your son's reaction is perfectful normal - we all have recriminations - I should have petted him more, made sure he had plenty of water, been there for him. There's no way around it - there will be guilt no matter what. It will ease him to have some if Sissy's things. I don't know what to say about the vacuuming. All I know is that no matter how hard I cleaned, I never got it all - there is no vacuum that strong, so there will always be remnants of Sissy no matter how hard you scrub or clean. And again, there's no shame in keeping that bag of fur. We all have mementos which may seem odd to other people, but make perfect sense to us.

My Magic cat died in her sleep too. The only comfort I got from that is in realizing with all the pain and suffering that pets - and people -- go through to pass on, there are so many other ways where she wouldn't have had that dignity. I know it's small comfort now, but he'll eventually come to see it. It took me awhile to get through the "why's". I feel animals have a better sense of when to leave than we do - and where they go there's no pain, lots of toys, and lots of other dogs to spend time with. Still, he'll need to talk, and like I say, I spent hours with Alex trying to come to terms with what happened. Dude went peacefully, and in the end that's what counts.

Take care, all of you - Barbara