Guinness, My best best friend ever! Options

[Guinny]

Dear all,

Like all of you I lost the "love of my life" on 6th May 2006. Gynnie meant the world to me, but strangely enough I never realized how much this was true until he was suddenly gone. It feels like that very proverbial piece of my heart has been cut out. And although it has been weeks, although he was old and probably in a lot of pain, although he could not get up any more by himself, although I know I did the right thing by euthanising him (the most horrible decision of my life) I can not get used to life without him.
At first I was in shock. For days I felt like I murdered my best friend. This fortunately went away, but I have not succeeded in placing this event in a meaningfull way in my mind. Oh, rationally it is all very logical, very right. But the emotional part just will not fall into a place where it gives me peace.

We had him cremated and I felt relief when seeing him one more time before that. Another thing you never realize, an animal that lives with you is as familiar to you as a child, you know your animal by seeing a part of tail or a paw. That thought has comforted me since.

He was my best friend ever. Nowone in my life has been so close to me as he was. And God, do I miss him. At first not even that much, strangely enough. I got a lot of support and a lot of people surprised me by being genuinly sympathetic, some surprised me by being the opposite though as well (surely you all know that feeling as well).
But now that normal life has picked up ... it seems to get worse and worse. In the train home from work I often cry and I always think of him. And I keep reaching out to him mentally, try to get rid of this maddening emptiness. Every night I hope I dream of him, but so far I have not. And I feel lonely.

In the last years I had to say goodbye to a lot of loved ones and those were each very heartbreaking experiences, but Gynnie was with me, in my life, for the last 11 years almost every day! And I know that life will never be completely "right" again, although I love life itself. It's a sad and lonely feeling. I do not really want to talk about this with anyone anymore, for it is a very private experience. But of course here you all go through the same thing (unfortunatly) so that is different.

Do any of you want to comment on that strange feeling that you are so close to your pet that it is as if they are in your head? And how do you deal with that maddening emptiness?

[Daisy's Mommy]

The bond between a beloved pet and his or her person may be one of the strongest bonds there is - they are part of us - we are tied together by a bond of love. When they leave this earth, the spiritual bond remains, but the physical bond is broken and we bleed inside - thus the feeling of emptiness.


Daisy's Mommy