Rough Night Options

[sheltiecalicolov...]

It's been two weeks since I lost Kandy. I have been doing better for the most part, but tonight I am unable to sleep and can't stop crying. I miss everything about her, her eyes, ears, fur, nose, kisses, paws, everything.

I have had lots of nightmares about losing Kirby (my other sheltie) now. He is 3 years older than she was, and acting old. He sleeps next to my bed and I keep waking up to make sure he's still breathing. I can't get the moment out of my head when Kandy stopped breathing. I don't ever want to see that again. Kirby has always been my troublemaker - we used to get complaints from neighbors all the time about his barking, and he used to try to escape a lot. But in the last few years he has turned into a calm, gentle soul, probably in part because we believe he has lost most of his hearing. Sounds used to make him crazy. Now he sleeps and snuggles all the time. I know he misses Kandy too.

I have read so many people's stories about picking up their dog's ashes. I keep thinking that if I have made it through this much, surely I can get through that. But I know I will cry being at the vet without her, and I'm also worried that they will not really be Kandy's remains. How do I know? Has anybody else ever had this fear?

Thanks for letting me vent. I guess it's best to have meltdowns in the middle of the night while the family is sleeping. I wish I could pet Kandy so bad right now!!! I miss her so much...

[karen424]

Hi Erin....

I know it's hard - each anniversary renews the pain....the first year is the toughest. Just keep giving Kirby all of the love and affection you have been. He needs you and you need him...and Purrina too....

Love,

Karen