Rough Night Options

[sheltiecalicolov...]

It's been two weeks since I lost Kandy. I have been doing better for the most part, but tonight I am unable to sleep and can't stop crying. I miss everything about her, her eyes, ears, fur, nose, kisses, paws, everything.

I have had lots of nightmares about losing Kirby (my other sheltie) now. He is 3 years older than she was, and acting old. He sleeps next to my bed and I keep waking up to make sure he's still breathing. I can't get the moment out of my head when Kandy stopped breathing. I don't ever want to see that again. Kirby has always been my troublemaker - we used to get complaints from neighbors all the time about his barking, and he used to try to escape a lot. But in the last few years he has turned into a calm, gentle soul, probably in part because we believe he has lost most of his hearing. Sounds used to make him crazy. Now he sleeps and snuggles all the time. I know he misses Kandy too.

I have read so many people's stories about picking up their dog's ashes. I keep thinking that if I have made it through this much, surely I can get through that. But I know I will cry being at the vet without her, and I'm also worried that they will not really be Kandy's remains. How do I know? Has anybody else ever had this fear?

Thanks for letting me vent. I guess it's best to have meltdowns in the middle of the night while the family is sleeping. I wish I could pet Kandy so bad right now!!! I miss her so much...

[deedee]

They keep the ashes separate if you request it. I can understand your concern, though. A lot of thoughts go through the mind in grief. It is such a strong emotion, our minds try to make sense of the pain we feel.

Of course you miss Kandy. Kirby does too. They go through a grieving process as well. Please be good to each other. You can help each other a bit through this painful period.