He's Finally "resting His Bones" :( Options

[RestYourBones]

I am so glad I found this site. I am so lost right now.

My beloved Omar, 12 year old Border Collie mix was put to sleep on Wed, 4/26.
Last weekend, he started showing deterioration. He lost movement in his hind legs. When I took him to the vet, the vet still had hope, doing all the blood tests to check for serious disease and nothing really came up. Then on Wed evening, he had a serious seizure, losing control over the left side of his body, eyes rolling back in his head. I was horrified, knowing deep in my gut I wouldn't have much time with him. When I rushed him to the vet, she still had hope that maybe the seizure was an isolated incident. She gave me options, yet I knew in my heart it was it. She said, she would have waited a day to see what, if any progress would be made, but I told her to proceed with putting his dear soul to rest. Although I couldn't help but think, maybe just one more day, WOULD be worth waiting. Then I had the grueling task of going thru the rest of my life thinking, "What if I had just waited one more day like the vet suggested?

I still insisted to take him out of more misery to come. So I had to wait for my friend to get to the vet to help me through this process I couldn't go thru alone. I need to mention that the vet was closed when I called hysterically for help. They kept their shop open from 6-9pm for Omar. They were angels.

In a matter of an hour, he had two more seizures. Horrible horrible seizures. Vet said that it was Omar's final gift to me, letting me know that I wasn't making the wrong decision by letting him go. It was his way of telling me "it's time" and it wouldn't get any better.

While he was on valium, to give him some comfort...the vet, technician and my friends were on the floor with him. Telling him wonderful little being he was on this earth. My little Omar was such a remarkable dog. He took care of me when I was sick, (working dog), was there in death, sickness and heartbreak, helped my dying mother in her last months by bringing her comfort...always taking care of everyone else, including my other dog, a Husky. I also talked to friends after who told me of stories of how he helped them as well, they sobbed on the phone. I couldn't believe that this little dog had such a huge impact on so many other's lives.

I always told him "rest your bones Omar, rest your bones". He wouldn't sit down, always following me, making sure I was okay. Even the weekend before, when he couldn't walk he still tried his best to follow me, all the while wagging his precious tail.

My house is no longer the same, and my life will no longer be the same. I spent more time with him than I did any other being, human or not, for the last 10 years. I feel like my child is gone and I will always grieve for him and the love he showed me uncondionally.

All I could say in the end, when I was on the floor with him was "rest your bones dear friend, rest your bones".

[Crystal's Mom]

Omar's parent,

My vet assured me that I was "absolutely" doing the right thing. My little Crystal did not have violent seizure as Omar, but she was suffering with seizures as well. Her's seizures were related to her poor heart that kept missing beats or stopping and causing her to lose consciousness. She was fighting a murmur, congestive heart failure, and kidney failure also. I knew it was time to let her go. Although, it was the hardest decision of your life or mine to do such a thing. It would only be selfish to allow our dearly loved fur babies to continue on in the condition they were in. We had to do what we did as the ultimate unselfish gift. It sounds, in your case, you truly had NO other choice.

There was guilt for me anyway. The biggest occomplishment of my first week of greiving was that I stopped blaming myself for taking her life. I made myself realize that she was not getting any better and there was nothing more I could have done to help her. (I had nursed her for 2 months feeding by syringe.) It was very plain and simple... it was just her time to go. That is actulally a huge step for the first week to shed the quilt. I pray that you find that in your first week.

Sweet Crystal has been gone 3 weeks now. It hasn't gotten easier. I have gone from the hysterics of the first week to only a couple of "melt downs" per day. I will tell you though, the emptiness in your heart will NEVER go away. Omar will always remain in your heart and you will feel your heart bleed from grief. The loneliness continues for me constantly. The longing to hold them, get kisses, or just to smell them once more will continue. Let yourself mourn as long as you need. I found that the only way I can sleep is to hold onto one of Crystal's toys all night. Since I told others at LS that, many have said they too do similar things for comfort.

It truly is like the loss of a child. You not only spend more time with your sweet furkid than any other human, you also have the unconditional love like a human child. In addition to that you have never ending dependence. Meaning, they never grow up and move away, or go to school and leave you alone all day, or learn to cook their own meals. A furchild always completely depends on you to take care of them. When they pass there is a huge void.

I know none of my words will make it any easier for you. I just wanted you to know that you were special to Omar and are yourself a very special person for being capable of feeling such a love. You were both lucky to have each other and Omar knows how deeply you continue to love him!

Keep coming to this site. You have many friends here that have experienced your kind of pain. I know I would never have made it without so many understanding people.

Crystal's Mom, Sonda