He's Finally "resting His Bones" :( Options

[RestYourBones]

I am so glad I found this site. I am so lost right now.

My beloved Omar, 12 year old Border Collie mix was put to sleep on Wed, 4/26.
Last weekend, he started showing deterioration. He lost movement in his hind legs. When I took him to the vet, the vet still had hope, doing all the blood tests to check for serious disease and nothing really came up. Then on Wed evening, he had a serious seizure, losing control over the left side of his body, eyes rolling back in his head. I was horrified, knowing deep in my gut I wouldn't have much time with him. When I rushed him to the vet, she still had hope that maybe the seizure was an isolated incident. She gave me options, yet I knew in my heart it was it. She said, she would have waited a day to see what, if any progress would be made, but I told her to proceed with putting his dear soul to rest. Although I couldn't help but think, maybe just one more day, WOULD be worth waiting. Then I had the grueling task of going thru the rest of my life thinking, "What if I had just waited one more day like the vet suggested?

I still insisted to take him out of more misery to come. So I had to wait for my friend to get to the vet to help me through this process I couldn't go thru alone. I need to mention that the vet was closed when I called hysterically for help. They kept their shop open from 6-9pm for Omar. They were angels.

In a matter of an hour, he had two more seizures. Horrible horrible seizures. Vet said that it was Omar's final gift to me, letting me know that I wasn't making the wrong decision by letting him go. It was his way of telling me "it's time" and it wouldn't get any better.

While he was on valium, to give him some comfort...the vet, technician and my friends were on the floor with him. Telling him wonderful little being he was on this earth. My little Omar was such a remarkable dog. He took care of me when I was sick, (working dog), was there in death, sickness and heartbreak, helped my dying mother in her last months by bringing her comfort...always taking care of everyone else, including my other dog, a Husky. I also talked to friends after who told me of stories of how he helped them as well, they sobbed on the phone. I couldn't believe that this little dog had such a huge impact on so many other's lives.

I always told him "rest your bones Omar, rest your bones". He wouldn't sit down, always following me, making sure I was okay. Even the weekend before, when he couldn't walk he still tried his best to follow me, all the while wagging his precious tail.

My house is no longer the same, and my life will no longer be the same. I spent more time with him than I did any other being, human or not, for the last 10 years. I feel like my child is gone and I will always grieve for him and the love he showed me uncondionally.

All I could say in the end, when I was on the floor with him was "rest your bones dear friend, rest your bones".

[smitty_sca]

i just wanted you to know how sorry i am you lost your little angel. these beautiful creatures are such a wonderful part of our lives, it is so heartbreaking when they have to pass over. i also had to have my special little one, mocha, put to sleep. it was in march but sometimes still feels like it was yesterday. i ripped myself apart with the "what-if's" and although i know it is really hard, try not to do that to yourself. you made your decision from pure love and that can never be wrong. you only wanted to spare your special baby more pain and suffering. what a difficult, courageous and compassionate thing to do. try to be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. take all the time you need. Omar sounds like he was an incredible animal companion that gave comfort to so many. what a blessing he was and is. i truly believe that they are always with us. i am glad you found this site. the people here are wonderful and all understand the depth of such a terrible loss. we are here for you. take care of yourself.