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> How Do You Cope Without Your Soulmate?, Do you recover? or just get use to it?
Crystal's Mom
post Apr 9 2006, 12:28 AM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 32
Joined: 7-April 06
From: Nashville, TN
Member No.: 1,525



This is my third night to be lost! This is my third night to be so alone! This is another sleepless one! How do you cope without your life and soul. I feel as if part of mine passed on when my soulmate passed away. I am in agony! I still can't eat, can't sleep, can't breath sometimes. I have yelled out in anger. I have cried desperately to bring her back. I have tried to make deals. I have tortured myself. Do you ever recover? Am I ever going to feel whole again? Do you ever get used to the idea of your baby being gone?

I MISS CRYSTAL SOOO MUCH!! She slept with me every day of her 14 year life. Now I find I cannot sleep without her. I keep finding myself reaching for her to pull her closer only to find there isn't anything there. But every time I close my eyes, I am haunted with the last thing I saw, her poor lifeless body. How do I get beyond this? I am trying to remember how happy she made me and all the good times, but that just makes me miss her and feel guilt that I couldn't perform a miracle and make her healthy again.

I have talked to her constantly. I am so worried about her. Is she happy? Does she know how much I love her and miss her? Is she pushing her cloud bed in exactly the right shape before she goes to sleep?

I am lucky and fortunate that I was allowed to share her life with her! I do have quite alot to be thankful for and I am, but the pain is severe. The love for my human children makes me go on and exist for them, but there is a huge void in my life without my first child. My fur child. The one that was always the best behaved, most loving, and cuddly.

This site and all of my fellow animal lover friends are the only comfort I have found. Please help me work through this. Even my two beautiful children are not bringing me joy as they usually do. They are 4 & 6 and keep forgetting she is gone and calling for her or talking about her which starts the tears and the memories flooding again.

I have found comfort from this site and many of you here. Please help me get through this!


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Safe in the hands of our creator, but remaining in our hearts forever.
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Crystal's Mom
post Apr 14 2006, 08:12 AM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 32
Joined: 7-April 06
From: Nashville, TN
Member No.: 1,525



IT HAS BEEN ONE WEEK SINCE MY SOUL BABY WENT TO DOG HEAVEN. I experinced the pain all over again as I relived the events of a week ago. It was the worst 2 days of my life!!!

In the last week, the healing process has began some. The one thing I have accomplished in the 1st week is, I stopped blaming myself. Crystal was 14. She had a heart murmur, an enlarged heart, congestive heart failure, and kidney failure. She quit eating or drinking 2 months before she passed. I kept her alive by feeding her food and water every 30 min - 1 hour during the day and every 2 hours at night by syringe. She gave up 2 months earlier than I did. Her body was ready to go 2 months before I would let her.

With the support of LS in the last week, I did get beyound the blame and guilt and have learned to accept I did everything I could possibly do, but "it was just her time."

I STILL MISS HER TERRIBLY!!!! I still have lots of pain and I have not learned to get used to her being gone, but getting beyound the GUILT was a big step this week.

Another thing that helped. My husband planted a beautiful pink dogwood tree outside my kitchen window in tribute to her. It is full of huge pink blooms and when the sun sets, it is completely illuminated. Absolutely stunning. It brings me peace to see her expressed as beautiful in death as she was in life. It will continue to remind me of her love for years and it blooms annually on the anniversary of her death.
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Posts in this topic
- Crystal's Mom   How Do You Cope Without Your Soulmate?   Apr 9 2006, 12:28 AM
- - Tillie   Oh I am so sorry you are going through this 3 days...   Apr 9 2006, 04:00 AM
- - penguinstar   i know exactly how you feel...today is also the th...   Apr 9 2006, 05:07 AM
- - Max's pal   Today is day 4 without my cat Max. I don't kn...   Apr 9 2006, 08:37 AM
- - LuckyNono   Hi Crystal's Mom, this is LuckyNono's Mom....   Apr 9 2006, 10:52 AM
- - Crystal's Mom   This is my 4th night of lonliness. It isn't g...   Apr 9 2006, 11:05 PM
- - Kim R.   Crystal's mom, my heart just bleeds for you ....   Apr 10 2006, 12:36 PM
- - Zooey's Dad   I had to put down my beloved kitty on Friday, 4/7....   Apr 10 2006, 03:16 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   The tribute by Kim to Sasha with the link at the b...   Apr 10 2006, 07:16 PM
- - Missing Digger   I also understand the grief of having to put your ...   Apr 11 2006, 09:36 AM
- - Kim R.   Crystal's mom, I am so glad that my words and ...   Apr 11 2006, 09:59 AM
- - Karen44   I am so so sorry for what you are going through an...   Apr 11 2006, 08:42 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   My 6th night to be alone. I am still clinging to ...   Apr 11 2006, 10:18 PM
- - QorquisDad   Crystal's Mom, How I remember the first days ...   Apr 12 2006, 08:37 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   IT HAS BEEN ONE WEEK SINCE MY SOUL BABY WENT TO DO...   Apr 14 2006, 08:12 AM
- - Crystal's Mom   Today, being Easter, I had a complete "melt d...   Apr 16 2006, 10:04 PM
- - Tillie   Crystals mom I come here every single day to read...   Apr 17 2006, 05:11 AM
- - SJ J & S   QUOTE So many of you have said you have gotten sig...   Apr 17 2006, 11:27 AM
- - LittleKitty   Easter was a hard day for me too. It was the first...   Apr 17 2006, 03:21 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   I realized tonight that I have another issue. I...   Apr 18 2006, 10:00 PM
- - LuckyNono   You know what, whatever gets you through, just do ...   Apr 19 2006, 03:28 PM
- - Kurbysma   Crystal's Mom, First, I want to say how sorry...   Apr 20 2006, 07:02 PM
- - Forever Jake   I am so sorry about your loss, and can understand ...   Apr 20 2006, 09:24 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   2 WEEKS TODAY OF LIFE WITHOUT MY SOUL MATE!...   Apr 20 2006, 10:12 PM
- - Tillie   Well its been 13 weeks since Tillie died and I st...   Apr 21 2006, 05:13 AM
- - BooBoo's Mom   Everyone, I feel the same way, but sometimes I thi...   Apr 21 2006, 07:07 AM
- - Kurbysma   BooBoo's Mom, You are so right..... That is ...   Apr 21 2006, 11:58 AM
- - sammi1   I think our pets would hate to see us so upset. I ...   Apr 21 2006, 04:42 PM
- - SJ J & S   [/QUOTE]I am holding her "toy" and talki...   Apr 23 2006, 02:42 PM
- - LuckyNono   I grieve because I am not ready to give up my baby...   Apr 24 2006, 04:40 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   Do You Think it was A Sign? My 4 year old woke up...   Apr 24 2006, 10:37 PM
- - Tillie   Crystals mom This is for sure a sign I think chil...   Apr 25 2006, 04:24 AM
- - Forever Jake   I am sure that is a sign from your baby... like T...   Apr 25 2006, 06:15 AM
- - Kurbysma   Crystal's Mom, What an AWESOME, WONDERFUL thi...   Apr 26 2006, 06:26 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   3 WEEKS TODAY I got a sick feeling in my stomach ...   Apr 27 2006, 11:02 PM
- - joywarrior   hi, all, very good loving truthfull helpfull pos...   Apr 27 2006, 11:37 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   SHE CAME TO ME IN A DREAM!! Last night I ...   Apr 29 2006, 01:32 AM
- - Tillie   Sondra I am so glad for you don't be upset ch...   Apr 29 2006, 05:01 AM
- - LuckyNono   Hello my friend, I am sooooo delighted that baby C...   Apr 29 2006, 02:44 PM
- - Crystal's Mom   I SAW A BLUEBIRD TODAY!!! I was drivi...   May 1 2006, 11:04 PM
- - Tillie   I agree and will bet you will see more of them aro...   May 2 2006, 05:43 AM


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