I Must Be Losing It... Options

[th1]

I fear I am losing it. Our beloved bluetick coonhound Luther was killed 2 months ago just before Christmas and I cannot stop crying! He was only 4 and hit by a car right in front of our house. The vets could not save him. I did get to say good-bye but it was too quick and I am so sad. Friends say we should get another dog, obviously we have so much love for them. But I don't want another dog, Iwant MY puppy back. I know this thought process is getting me nowhere! But I cannot seem to help it. He was a member of our family - and such a cool dog. I know I will never be able to replace him. Maybe just getting things out will help. I hate crying to my husband as I know he misses Luth deeply too. Its very hard to come home to an empty and quiet house. I never realized what ahuge part of our lives he had become (and me, never really a "dog" person growing up until I brought the adorable puppy home as a Christmas gift to my husband. Neither of us could believe how attached I became! I know it takes time but the sadness has not dissipated a bit. Hoping it will help to talk about it with people who understand.

[luv_my_catz]

Of course you are not losing it ~ I want to say that it is totally normal what you are feeling ~ I have been forever changed by the losses of my pets ~ I am still trying to find my way ~ yet the wind blows in darkened shadows in parts of my heart as I make my way in a world that becomes foreign and somehow out of focus ~ maybe a better way to describe it is one dimensional ~ I do the routine and in some ways I can still be myself but in the deepest part of my soul where the innocent play and joyful spontaneity was ~ I now have a blank spot there ~ its my own personal loss ~ within my heart that can never be as it was ~ and so I am trying to learn to go on in a new but yet forever changed way ~ I miss them so much~ this space I live in is stilted and strange when I am in between the daily living tasks and other social interactions that are automatic ~ if that makes any sense ~ I have not had lots of family around and these guys were how I defined my home and heart ~ Samantha the new arrival is also innocently lost and so very needful of safety having been dropped the shelter by her owners after 8 years ~ her world is also upside down ~ we help each other ~ step by step ~ Its hard ~ I know ~ try to focus on the LOVE part and think about a golden pink cloud surrrounding you all together ~ or a rainbow wind blowing your spirits close ~ or a crystalline curtain that lets them come to us and watch from behind the veil at times when they take time out from playing in the eternity of their days ~ My heart goes out to you ~ Sincere Thoughts, Kathryn