Our Baby Has Gone., devasted Options

[Missing her so b...]

Saturday Jan22nd we lost our little baby Holly , she would have been 13 in May, after she fought so hard with heart disease. I miss her sooooooo bad we have known for months she was losing her battle but it's made it no easier.
And her lifelong companion and son is pining so bad for her it's heartbreaking.
She was so beautiful a tiny little Toy Yorkie and we love her so much.
Thankyou for this forum I really need to write down the words, this is all I can manage for now but it helps.

[Phinny1]

Hi Phinny,
I never thought about Magic's passing that way, and you're right, it is a contradiction. I've thought about it some, and I think what bothered me most about the difference between Heidi and Magic's respective passings, was that while I knew what Heidi was sick with, and kinda knew what would happen, I never really knew what happened with Magic. Heidi was older - 17 - had CRF, and had been getting fluids and seeing the vet for months, but Magic was young and playful and hadn't needed to see the vet in awhile. Of course, now I feel bad and think I must have missed something wrong with Magic, but her end seemed painless and peaceful, and in the end that's what matters. Part of my individual grieving process after losing Magic has been the utterly amazing realization that no, I do not and never will have the complete control over my pets' lives that I would want. The loss of control, and not being able to fix something as easily as I feel I should have been able to, has all tied in with my grief, and giving up that illusion of control has been a real life lesson. Having experienced losing pets both ways has been an enlightening experience - not one I'd wish on anyone, but I've learned a lot and found people out there who really, really care. And in the end, grief is grief, and while each loss is individual and heartbreaking, there are common threads there too. And while we sometimes think we're all alone in our feelings, there are people out there willing to help us with their insights and compassion.

5catsmom - I can understand your point about Magic, never seeing it coming. I certainly can understand about the control issue too. That to me is what really gets you. Like with Rocky, I kept thinking if I'd only done more, why didn't I see this before. Why couldn't we just give him a new heart. On and on. It's not being able to stop what is indeed the inevitable. You just feel so helpless too because we are dependent on other information such as the vet, the reports, the x-rays in order to make what we hope is the right decision.
I feel the real eye opener for me is seeing how many people have lost their pets and are truly suffering. I didn't realise until I found this site how many people really love/loved their animals. Of course when it's your pet that's died or dying, all you can see is your own situation. But having this site has been a godsend for me as now I can see I'm not the only who grieves for their loss but thought of their pet as a friend/companion. Sometimes I think I'm nuts because of all the feelings I have, almost as if I've lost perspective on the situation. Coming here has helped so much and I hope I can pass on a few nuggets on to others as well.