A Blessing...and A Problem, She just doesnt like him. Options

[Distant_Shorelin...]

I've got a problem with our two kitty cats. Lillie is the sweetest cat at 10 months and isnt very large, and Steeler is four months old (thats what the vet just told us) and is very small as well. The thing is:

1. Lillie is missing Chubbers something awful
2. Steeler has abandoment issues, I believe, and is very skittish from being left on the side of the road and who knows what the poor thing went thru and the effects of that are apparent. For example, he'll always look over his shoulder and all around him when eating to make sure no one's going to take away his food.
3. I think Lillie thinks we gave Chub Chubs away for this kitten
4. Steeler hides as soon as anyone except my brother comes near him; even with me, it takes some coaxing to get him to come out. But when I hold him, he's fine.

We'll put them in a room together, and Steeler wont mind. It's actually quite sad; he'll look hopefully at Lillie and she'll start hissing and growling. I dont think she'd ever attack him but she's clearly telling him "I dont like you, back off!" nonetheless. Then, when I take Lillie out of the room, she'll start crying in my arms and curl up on my lap and becomes depressed.

I tried to get them familiar with one another's scents with the whole sock-passing-around thing, and talking soothingly to Steeler and trying to comfort him, comforting Lillie and nothing is working. Lillie's the sweetest thing except when she's around that cat. The only break was when we brought Steeler down here to the living room, and Lillie reduced to growling a little bit.

It was a sight to behold though when we saw Steeler playing out in the middle of the floor for the first time, undaunted. He had just met our three year old border collie mix, Shadow, and the two got along quite well, nuzzling and licking each other's faces. I think he finally knew he had friends. I just wish him and Lillie could get along...any tips???