First Walk Without My Tico, So very strange. Options

[Cathi]

Three weeks ago today, we had to have Tico put to sleep as he had lost lots of weight and had finally stopped eating. He was 13- about average life span for a husky. He was gorgeous, mostly white, and had deep golden dark brown eyes that looked very kind. All the little kids would come up to him when we were out walking, and ask if he was a wolf. They loved to pet him and he loved them. His tail would go crazy.

I have been getting no exercise as I've been grieving for my dog as I have never grieved for the loss of a human.

When he was alive, when I said "walk" he would jump over the footstool back and forth, and just quiver from excitement when we were getting ready to go. We walked everywhere- especially the shelter belt at the edge of the college. He took me through all the seasons. We left our footsteps on the sweet earth. Sometimes I would drive to the country and we would walk there for miles.

I remember this summer was so darn hot and I kept thinking about how beautiful it would be when we could walk in the fresh air and beauty of Fall.

Last nite I walked by myself and it was all I could do to keep from crying out in public. As I write this, I am reliving all the old memories but not without pain. My heart is so empty.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had this experience.

peace
Cathi

[anniebear'smom]

I had to put my AnnieBear down this past Sunday, and I haven't been able to walk yet. We just moved from the East coast to Arizona and found a cozy house at the end of a dirt road up in the woods (yes, there ARE woods in Arizona). The biggest reason we chose this house was for AnnieBear. She loved when we woke up in the morning and went out for a 1/2 hour walk through the woods. It was the happiest she's been. We have only been in the house about a month and a half. I have not yet been able to walk since her passing. I know that it will be good for me and make me feel less stressed and more healthy, but I just cannot bring myself to go. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes. We walked just a day before she got sick. She was perfectly happy, sniffing around for signs of deer and javelina and other critters that live in the woods. It's helpful to hear that other people have had difficulty with this too. At least I won't see anyone on my walks, so if I do have the courage to go, I won't have to interact with others while I am a blubbering mess.