We Let Our Sweet Bella Go..... Options

[Bella'sDad]

I have been reading from this site and wanted to tell everyone here about a special creature that came into my life about 8.5 years ago.

Some background: I have 3 siblings and had dogs growing up. They died, but we were shielded from the grief from our parents and I did not know that at the time. I thank them now.

I am now 37 years old, male, with a wonderful wife who is a lot smarter than me. We have no children. She had been after me to get a dog, specifically an English bulldog. I was hesitant because I liked the independence of not having to be "tied" down to a pet. That, and I knew that the life expectancy of a dog is short. I did not want to have to deal with any guilt or emotional pain afterwards.

Well, my wife found an ad in the paper for some "English/American Bulldog Puppies" and we were getting one, end of story. I reluctantly agreed and we drove a long distance to check them out. They looked like Bullys to me, just a little taller. I fell in love with the whole bunch, about 8 of them. I wanted my wife to pick the one she wanted. She wanted a female, preferably black/white and wanted to call her Bella. The owner started laughing and said 'Watch this...Isabelle, come here, Girl!!!!" From under the wooden deck comes this precocious black and white pup and runs to us. She knew her name--Isabelle, which we changed to Bella!! It took time for me to drop my guard and become emotionally attached to her, but it happened before I knew it.

We had 8.5 years with her, all wonderful. Back in September she started peeing in the house and in her sleep in our bed, along with losing control of her limbs and falling flat to the ground, not on her side. Took her to the vet, he said she had a bad ear infection. Prednisone was prescribed and she did not really start to recover. A few days later she collapsed again and we took her to the Emergency Vet, no help there either. We called a Mobile vet and she saw the symptons we described and suggested she be checked out by a neurologist. We took her to the UGA Small Animal Hospital and they did tests, neurological, MRI, spinal tap, etc... She weighed 60 pounds, down from 64 about 2 weeks prior. They noticed swelling of the brain, but did not see any indication of cancer. WHEW!! He prescribed upping the dosage of prednisone to combat the swelling, come back in for a 2 week check up. She was blind too. He was hopeful that the swelling would go down and her vision "might" return. We had 2 good days with her at home, she navigated around everything normally, played with her toys with us, she even felt good enough to scratch me in my sleep so that she could get under the covers, roll on her back and let me scratch her tummy. On the third day, all of her symptoms returned.

The vet suggested we bring her back ASAP and we did. We finally had to admit defeat, considering her quality of life, on October 11th and let her go. My wife and I were with her on one of her favorite fuzzy blankets, kissed her, rubbed her, and told her that we loved her countless times.

We had her cremated and she is finally back home with us. We have some comfort in that, but my wife and I are devastated. We have lost something of ourselves and cannot bear to be without our Bella. I am a 37 year old man but cannot seem to stop having these crying spells-everyday! It is like a roller-coaster ride and I want to get off! I feel like I was robbed or tricked. My wife is trying not to think about it, but no luck there. We have come to realize that this will take a long time. We even broached the subject (yesterday) of getting another dog. We learned a lot from Bella and I know I want to share my life with another noble creature. They would not replace Bella, but my wife and I have a lot of love to give. Reading some of the stories in the forum has given me some comfort and I want to thank you.

Here is a favorite picture of her just waking up, covered by one of her favorite blankets.

[pamurchu]

Bella has such a sweet face! So sorry for the difficulty you are having after Bella left you. My heart goes out to anyone who had to make the final decision for their best friends. Assuredly, you had Bella for 8.5 wonderful years, and you will carry her in your heart forever. When the time is right, and you will know when it is, find another friend--not to take Bella's place, but to enrich your lives in its own way. Take care.
Pat