Why Do I Get So Afraid?, Visits from my baby scare me! Options

[jenn]

I know this seems silly.. and I know a lot of you pray and hope and wish for visits from your dear departed ones.. Freeway visits me often.. and sometimes.. like last night.. it SCARES me.. I know it shouldn't! Here's what happened...
I was going to bed, it was around 3am (I work nights and so usually am up very late) and as I got into bed I noticed my VCR on my dresser across from my bed was off.. there was no display, no time.. so I got up to see what was wrong... Freeway is beside my dresser.. his urn, collar, picture, a poem, and his favorite toy all rest there. I moved the table he's on out of the way and saw that the plug for the VCR was a little out, and I couldn't move the dresser to plug it back in.. I realized I had forgotten to say goodnight to Freeway, my nightly ritual. I said goodnight, shed a tear or 2, got back into bed and the second I did the VCR turned back on... I got up and looked and the plug was all the way in again... I think Freeway was mad I didn't say goodnight and let me know it! Which is just like him.. but I was scared... terrified.. I don't know why... Him being here should be awesome, soothing, comforting - but instead I was afraid. I don't want him to stop coming to me, and he might if he knows I am scared.
Anyone else ever afraid??