Keeps Losing Her Over And Over Options

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Back in early May I found this place as an outlet of my grief over losing my horse, MayLady. I want to thank everyone who posted to my story, it really did help. But now I have another problem. I ride at a lesson barn, where my instructor owns about 40 horses. I have known most of these horses since i started riding at age 5, 12 years ago. Starting with my beloved MayLady 2 months ago, we have lost 6 more horses to what can be chalked up to be old age. There are at least 3-4 more that probably won't make it through the summer. The graveyard at the barn is not very large, so all the horses are basically buried in the same place. The thing is, everytime another horse dies, I feel as if I am losing MayLady all over again. To make matters worse, an azalea bush that was given to me when she died has eaten by bugs and died. I almost feel as if I am being punished for something. I am to the point that I don't have to hold back tears when i talk about her death, but it is still so hard. I just miss her so much.

[Penni]

Hi Maylady's mom,
This is sooooo hard. I lost Penni (my irishwolf hound cross) on March 4 2005. I still look for her. She was the dog that always went riding when I took one of my horses out. Sometimes, I can still see her shooting through the trees. There is no easy way to go through this. I know that it really helps me to talk about Penni. Will you tell me about Maylady?? Was she older. How long had you had her. Where did you like to ride her most. Was she quiet, fiesty?? My oldest horse is Domino--he is 26--he is 1/2 Arab and 1/2 Tennessee Walker. He is black and white like an Oreo cookie. He is my first horse. I now have 3 others.
Please know that I believe that we are all reminded of the loss of our beloved kids when certain things happen. Particularly since you spend time at a barn where it sounds like there is a geriatric population.
There are no words of wisdom to ease the pain. Please know that I am thinking about you and know that Maylady knows how much you loved her. I do believe that time will ease pain. However, I believe some of that pain will be replace with a few tears of remembering the great times you had with Maylady.
Thinking of you
Leona