It's Been Eight Days, Still not feeling better Options

[Christine]

It's been 8 days since I had Sandy P put to sleep, and I still don't feel like it's getting any easier. When I had her put to sleep (the vet came out to the car to do it), I felt such an overwhelming sense of peace and love travel through my body. I think it was when her spirit left her body. It lasted about 30 seconds then was gone. I try and find comfort in that, but when I try and recapture that feeling, I can't. I'm afraid that if I keep trying too hard, I'm going to mess it up somehow and I won't remember it properly. You'll probably think I'm nuts when I tell you this: I have big bottle of calcium pills. Every time I take one, I think to myself "when all these pills are gone, things will be a little better." My husband is being so patient and supportive, but I've known Sandy P longer than I've known my husband so he understands. Sandy P saw me through a rough divorce and nursing school. I'm hanging in there...I've got an early morning meeting I've got to go to so I'd better dry my eyes and get going. I think about all of you often.

Love,

Christine

[Saki & Freyj...]

Christine:

I am so so sorry for your loss of Sandy P.

But 8 days is not near enough time to heal. Everyone is different but it sounds like Sandy P was a dear friend for a long time, so it is probably going to take awhile before it starts easing up. A general rule fo thumb is one month of grief for every year of love you shared. That's about what it was for me when I lost Saki and Freyja within a few weeks of each other. Saki was 12 and Freyja was 14 and it was probably over a year before I really started feeling normal again. I was off work (I teach) when they died) and honestly for the first 6 weeks I did nothing but cry and make memorials to them. I'd wake up crying and I'd go to bed crying. I tried an entire 2 times to leave the house during those 6 weeks -- and both times all I did was wander around in public crying! And then I was embarrassed on top of being a basketcase.

During those early weeks, I really thought I might lose my mind. Seriously. Thank God for this site.

But eventually I cried less. But for months it was like a tally "I only cried once today" "I only cried three times this week..." But it was probably a whole year before I could mention them dying without busting in to tears....

So just be really really nice to yourself and give yourself the time you need.

Love,
Jennifer