Having A Difficult Day, Missing my Rico Options

[Rico's Mom]

Today was especially difficult. It's been 6 weeks since my Rico went to the Rainbow Bridge and i am missing him more today than ever. Have been weepy on and off all day.

I just came in from planting some "bleeding heart" on his resting place that i took from my old house when i moved. It was the first chance i have had. I was missing him really bad and feeling really guilty too. I was not there when my soon to be ex-husband buried him. It was by choice but now i am feeling really bad that i was not there.

He had already passed on when i woke that morning. His last 2 days were hard on him and me. He was 17 and getting old and frail. I had a feeling he was in the early stages of kidney failure. He was not happy about our recent move. He lived up until then, his whole life in the country as "King of the Hill", going outside as he pleased, hunting mice, and enjoying naps in the sun. Now we live in a neighborhood with houses all around. He missed "his home".

He would be up all night....going from window to window....wanting to go out....meowing and yowling something terrible. The last week or 2 he was going on all day and night that way in spite of the fact that i let him out often, checking on him frequently and paying lots of attention to him. He managed to get lost twice but was found by a friend and also a new neighbor. The last time he was lost i had a feeling he left because he was unhappy and ready to move on. But my daughter posted lovingly made signs around the neighborhhod and he was found. Unfortunately he had tangled with something and had a few deep scratches and a bite or 2. One abscessed and his leg became swollen twice it's size. He had trouble walking and was not eating as well. I thought it was time to let him go but my kids were out of town with their dad and i just couldn't put him down while they were gone. So.... i took him to the vet and the vet gave him fluids as he was dehydrated and gave me some medication for the abscess. She thought he might be ok and live a few more months before the kidney failure got worse. I had high hopes. Took him home and put hot compresses on his leg...gave him water with a dropper and tried to feed him his favorite tuna but he pushed my hand away. He could hardly walk or hold his head up. I stayed up well into the night with him but had to get a few hours of sleep for work in the morning. When i woke........he was gone. My oldest said goodbye to him and went off to school. My husband came over. My youngest couldn't face the day. She stayed with my husband and they buried Rico together and i went off to work. I just couldn't stay there and see him be put in the ground. I regret it now that i was not there. When i was planting the bleeding heart tonight i just wanted to dig and dig and hold my baby once more. I should have stayed up with him that night and held him and loved him until he took his last breath. Oh Rico.....i miss you baby. Mommy loves you and i hope you are happy and well now and waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge.

[Kim R.]

Linda,
I'm so glad to hear that you will be honoring Lacy's memory by saving another kitty. I know this kitty will be extremely lucky to have you , it is evident what a good and loving mommy you are from your posts. I know that Lacy is glowing with pride at this decision. Your right that this kitty can not be a replacement for Lacy, but I don't think that will be a problem....once this kitty's personality shines through, you will see how much this kitty is very much her own soul, and you will love her as such. Allow yourself to love that kitty, guilt free, and she will return that love two-fold.


To Rico's mommy,
I'm so sorry for your loss of Rico. It sounds like you really had a lot of turmoil there towards the end. I hope it can give you peace to know that Rico is now back to the lifestyle he so loved, with the sun on his back, and all the open land he could dream to play and roam. God Bless
Kim