2 Weeks Ago Options

[Bacchus]

I put my 13 year old cat, Bacchus, to sleep two weeks ago, and this forum has been so helpful through the last two weeks of grieving, anger, and depression. Bacchus was an amazing feline. I once thought he might have been an alien with everything he had been through in his life: fighting with a chicken, riding on top of a car for several miles, surviving an attack by two coyotes. He had been getting sick every couple of months with dehydration and vomiting and would always get better after some fluids and antibiotics. Being a student, I couldn't afford to do a lot of tests financially.

Over the last month, he started to get thinner but would still play and cuddle and sleep with me every night. I had a feeling about a week before I made "the decision" that his time may be coming. I came home from school one day, and he had become jaundiced. The vet said that I could have done a feeding tube, ultrasound, bloodwork, etc., but I just could not afford that type of care. I feel horribly guilty for not being able to even see if this was something that could have been helped with treatment, but I would not have been able to pay the rent. Nor would I have wanted to put him through feeding tubes, injections and overall pain when I had a feeling that this was something very serious. I was in there with him when he passed. He cuddled with me in my arms before I let him go, and I feel that he knew what decision I had made and he was telling me it was okay.

I have moments of feeling like I did the right thing, but I never imagined the pain would be this great. This was the first pet that was truly mine and unfortunately, that brought the decision that I had to make. I just hope that he knows how much I love him and that I did this because I thought it was best for his well being.

Thank you all for posting your memories and emotions for others to see and relate to. Knowing that other people had the same feelings that I had has been so comforting.

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[Bacchus]

Thank you both for your kind words and support. It took me a little time to post my story of Bacchus, but I'm so glad that I did.

Special thanks to Caroline for sharing your story with me. I think what I've been needing is someone to tell me that I did make the right decision who truly understands the situation and pain. Bacchus' appetite was definitely suffering which sounds similar to your baby.

Something that has helped me is that pets don't fully understand 'quantity of life' but 'quality of life', and I know that everyone on this board provided their animals with the best quality of life. Yes, Bacchus had quite the life, worried me constantly, but that's what I get for naming him after a Roman god!

Kind thoughts to Caroline and Kathleen and everyone on this board.