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Bacchus
post May 16 2005, 07:20 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2
Joined: 16-May 05
Member No.: 888



I put my 13 year old cat, Bacchus, to sleep two weeks ago, and this forum has been so helpful through the last two weeks of grieving, anger, and depression. Bacchus was an amazing feline. I once thought he might have been an alien with everything he had been through in his life: fighting with a chicken, riding on top of a car for several miles, surviving an attack by two coyotes. He had been getting sick every couple of months with dehydration and vomiting and would always get better after some fluids and antibiotics. Being a student, I couldn't afford to do a lot of tests financially.

Over the last month, he started to get thinner but would still play and cuddle and sleep with me every night. I had a feeling about a week before I made "the decision" that his time may be coming. I came home from school one day, and he had become jaundiced. The vet said that I could have done a feeding tube, ultrasound, bloodwork, etc., but I just could not afford that type of care. I feel horribly guilty for not being able to even see if this was something that could have been helped with treatment, but I would not have been able to pay the rent. Nor would I have wanted to put him through feeding tubes, injections and overall pain when I had a feeling that this was something very serious. I was in there with him when he passed. He cuddled with me in my arms before I let him go, and I feel that he knew what decision I had made and he was telling me it was okay.

I have moments of feeling like I did the right thing, but I never imagined the pain would be this great. This was the first pet that was truly mine and unfortunately, that brought the decision that I had to make. I just hope that he knows how much I love him and that I did this because I thought it was best for his well being.

Thank you all for posting your memories and emotions for others to see and relate to. Knowing that other people had the same feelings that I had has been so comforting.
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Caroline
post May 16 2005, 09:14 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 171
Joined: 12-January 05
Member No.: 659



I am so sorry for the loss of your friend Bacchus. He was a beautiful cat. I know how hard this must be for you. I am glad you are finding some comfort from this site as everyone here understands your pain. I lost my dog Lucy in February at the age of 5 to cancer. When you wrote that Bacchus was jaundiced, I wanted to let you know that was one of Lucy's symptoms too, along with weight loss and loss of appetite. Many tests later (and a lot of money too), we found out she had lymphoma, and the cancer had caused her liver to almost shut down, hence the jaundice. She passed a month after her diagnosis, and there was really nothing we could do for her except provide her with a warm and loving environment and allow her to be euthanised before the suffering became too great. I think you made the right decision for your baby Bacchus. Don't question tests that weren't done or couldn't be afforded. You gave him the best gift of all, a wonderful life well lived (with lots of great stories by the sounds of things) and you were with him until the end. I am sure he is eternally grateful to have shared his years with you. Hang in there, the pain will lessen over time and the good memories will remain...

Thinking of you, Caroline
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