The Hardest Thing You'll Ever Do., The Loss of my Weimaraner Options

[Earl]

Its been a little more than a month, that I had to put Schatszie, my Weimaraner since a puppy, to sleep, and I came across this site, whereby, it was of some relief to know that I'm not alone in dealing with what seems to be a 'non-ending' grief period. I got Schatszie as a puppy, my second Weimar, and spent countless days training her in field and obedience. I had an excellent relationship with my other female Weimar, but Schatszie was way different.....She was crazy about me! She absolutely could not stand to be out of my sight. Thanks to my Parents, they watched over her while I was at work. When I would leave, she would stand at the front gate and stand there awaiting my return for hours/all day, until my Parents called her back in. In 1997 my Parents moved as well as I, and my new location provided me 5 acres for Schatszie, but the situation of her standing at front gate still persisted, every day....when I would return from work, there she would be, standing at gate looking down the road, awaiting my return, regardless of weather conditions. You see, I've never been married, and after numerous dead-end relationships, living alone, Schatszie was my everything. In 1997, I got tired of my profession, started a small business in home, whereby I could spend most of my time with Schatszie. She went every where with me in car, if weather permitted, to the store....dentist....you name it. Two years ago, she went on Thyroid medication, followed up with a high ALP Liver problem, and then followed by chronic renal failure. I started her on Science K/d food, and in Jan. 2005, my Vet gave her ~3weeks. She had no outward signs of kidney problems, except for mustle wasting in hind legs, and occasional mustle fatigue after exercising. With no for-notice, at 5:00AM on April 4, she woke me up next to my bed, with heavy panting and salivating, followed with a seizure. I rushed her to vet...they did IV's, but the seizure(End Stage Renal Failure) left her immobile....no mustle strenght, due to uremia of blood. I took her home, stayed up all night with her for 2.5 days, taking her outside to urinate etc., until both she and I were total;ly exhausted. She quit eating at the last, and I definitely knew it was time to do the hardest thing I would ever have to do in my whole life, next to burying my Parents, and that was call the Vet to come and put Schatszie to sleep....Put my Best Friend I've ever had in this life to sleep. Ladies and gentlemen, I know I'm among friends here when I say this,......"It is Hell On Earth, Living alone at 50 Years Old, and your BEST FRIEND, THE ONLY ONE YOU'LL EVER HAVE THAT LOVED YOU THE WAY SCHATSZIE LOVED ME, and THEY ARE GONE. I had already pre-fabbed her burial box, but I also had a 2'x3' granite slab inscribed, "Schatszie".....Jan. 22, 1993 - Arl. 6, 2005......"our Memories Together Will Never Fade,"....."But Your Absence Will Never Heal"......."I Love You Schatszie". To all of you that have lost 'Your Best Friend', Its a long rocky road to getting over grief. You are basically on your own. No one wants to really understand or hear about such. My greatest fear at present, is that I'll never get over this, and will never be able to get another Weimaraner again, without expecting her to be just like Schatszie, which of course, there will never be another Schatszie. My Heart goes out to all of you grieving. Our "Friends" just don't live long enough do they? Earl

[QorquisDad]

Hi Earl,

I meant to name you in my post in another thread, but it was getting out of hand so I decided to reply to you directly.

I know what it's like to have a little furry pal that goes everywhere with you, and waits for you to return home when she can't go with. Qorqui EXPECTED to go with me whenever I left the house. When she couldn't she gave me this look like I was abandoning her and I always felt guilty about leaving her home. When I would come home from work or wherever I had been without her, she'd be at the front window watching for me, then when I'd come in the back door she'd come running, say "Roo-woo" and, for lack of a better description, body check me. Then she'd run off and find whatever toy it was time to play with.

I had no idea how I was going to make it at first. This site helped me gain the strength to get back on a reasonably normal routine. In time I was able to entertain the idea of another Corgi, and a little while later I got up the nerve to take a trip to see if there was "anyone" out there that might fit into my life. As it turned out there was. At a little place south of Oklahoma City, a 12ish week old little black headed tri colored Corgi now named Kali selected me from all the humans she could have had.

I'm sure it's different for everyone, and only you can determine if the time is right. But I do believe that you will be able, in time, to get another female Weimaraner. When you reach a point where you won't expect her to be like Schatszie. I may have pushed it a bit because there have been times where Kali would do something like Qorqui did and it would hit me pretty hard, but now that Kali's own personality is coming through and I see all the differences I appreciate her for how she IS different rather than hoping for sameness.

This site really can help you heal. Stop in and post how you're doing that day, or help others, or just read the threads.

Tim