Living Without Amber Visibly There, Moving Forward Is Hard Options

[luv_my_catz]

Hello All ,

Today I am faced with the dilema of inertia ~ I cannot seem to move beyond where I am in my grief ~ I have the Master Bedroom closed ~ Amber's ashes are in there ~ the flowers on the table ~ the music playing ~ the quiet beauty of her life and the peaceful retreat we shared preserved ~ I feel as though I would be betraying her by letting the other cat in that room ~ she was protected from him in her little safe world there with me ~ He lost his rights to be in there by attacking her so much when she was beginning to show her age years ago ~ I cannot imagine sleeping in my bed without her there - or allowing him to "invade " her domain ~ its just not honorable ~ so now I don't know what to do ~ I have a lovely Master Suite ~ yet cannot find the way to reclaim it and integrate the sweet memories of " Amber's Days" with the Hope for the future and years I may have left with Ceece ~ he is a sweet ol' boy just always was too in his own world to ever properly learn cat protocol ~ I am stuck ~ I need to remain true to my loyalty to Ambie and her spirit within and without my soul ~ yet I do not want to keep myself locked in the past ~ life is filled with integrations and weavings of the spirits we have with us and the events we find ourselves moving through ~ I tried to sleep in the guest room ~ that didn't work either ~ so for now its back to the sofa bed ~ I am in a quandry ~ does anyone have any ideas?

Many THANKS,
Kathryn

[luv_my_catz]

Thank you all from my heart of hearts ~ your posts have given me some spiritual energizing and validation I sorely needed ~ I APPRECIATE the thought and suggestions ~ reflections and personal experiences that truly strike a harmonic chord in my soul ~ these are difficult days for me ~ yet I am so grateful to know that I am not alone ~

These thoughts I have copied from the posts especially ring so true ~

It just takes time. She is watching over you. When you least expect it, you will feel her presence in a very powerful way and you will smile and begin to feel okay again.

Ambie knows and understands how you feel and that you want to protect her room that you shared with her. You will just have to do what feels right to you, give yourself a little time and see how it goes.

Amber won't mind if you share your room with Ceece. It wasn't the place that she spent her time that made her life great...it was who she spent her life with that made her life extraordinary. She could have lived in the bathroom and would have been just as happy as long as her Kathryn came in to say hello often during the day. It's not the room that she loved....it's YOU

Allow the inertia.
it will change into something else soon enough, and when it does, and if you're ready, you might consider a ritual in the bedroom with burning sage and especially sweetgrass, and a special and loving cleaning of all the objects in the room, new sheets or blankets, different music or lighting.
i did this with my bedroom, and at first i was crying and feeling like i was "erasing" him, and then realized that i was releasing the 11months of his illness, that the joy, and especially the LOVE will always be with me in that room.

It's taken me almost 6 weeks to be able to spend any time in there. It's still hard but now along with the empty feeling inside I can smile when I think of him in there.

Take it one day at a time.

Thank you again ~ Sincere Appreciation and Gratitude

Kathryn