Living Without Amber Visibly There, Moving Forward Is Hard Options

[luv_my_catz]

Hello All ,

Today I am faced with the dilema of inertia ~ I cannot seem to move beyond where I am in my grief ~ I have the Master Bedroom closed ~ Amber's ashes are in there ~ the flowers on the table ~ the music playing ~ the quiet beauty of her life and the peaceful retreat we shared preserved ~ I feel as though I would be betraying her by letting the other cat in that room ~ she was protected from him in her little safe world there with me ~ He lost his rights to be in there by attacking her so much when she was beginning to show her age years ago ~ I cannot imagine sleeping in my bed without her there - or allowing him to "invade " her domain ~ its just not honorable ~ so now I don't know what to do ~ I have a lovely Master Suite ~ yet cannot find the way to reclaim it and integrate the sweet memories of " Amber's Days" with the Hope for the future and years I may have left with Ceece ~ he is a sweet ol' boy just always was too in his own world to ever properly learn cat protocol ~ I am stuck ~ I need to remain true to my loyalty to Ambie and her spirit within and without my soul ~ yet I do not want to keep myself locked in the past ~ life is filled with integrations and weavings of the spirits we have with us and the events we find ourselves moving through ~ I tried to sleep in the guest room ~ that didn't work either ~ so for now its back to the sofa bed ~ I am in a quandry ~ does anyone have any ideas?

Many THANKS,
Kathryn