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> Tears Soaked My Pillow, Crying All Night
Ann H
post Apr 30 2005, 07:44 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,165
Joined: 31-October 04
Member No.: 538
Just when I think I am doing so well terrible waves of sadness have overtaken me. I have been awake crying most of the night from missing my girls. It hasn't been this bad for me in a while now. The night has been so long and lonely and some kind of empty feeling has washed over me and has ripped the scars off my heart again.

Ok if I want to be truthful I looked at all the pictures of my little Snookie while she was so sick and dying and some of her after she had passed away. I don't know why I do that to myself it just causes me more pain. I have been strong and stayed away from them since my one post confessing what I was doing.

I just feel so empty, broken, so lost, and in so much pain today. All of the wonderful memories have been going through my mind. It seems to hurt my heart even more when I think of the blessing I have had and all I have lost. I feel so weak in my spirit, my heart screams I can't go on, the pain is to bad. Yet I know for the family I have to go on but I am so weary.

I held my Snookie's urn and hugged and kissed it, and today I may go fling myself on Chili Bean's grave. I have tried so hard to let joy come back into my life but today it seems to have escaped me. My heart and soul and tears have given way to the pain and sorrow of missing my wonderful darling girls.
Ann
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My girls went to the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks and 3 days apart.
Snookie had cushing's disease, and later developed diabetes. Both had cancer, Snookie had cancer of the liver, and Chili Bean had cancer of the pallet. Chili Bean was our son's chihuahua but we kept her often throughout her life and she stayed with us for the last 9 months of her life. Chili Bean also had asthma and heart failure. We will see you in Heaven my precious darlings.

Snookie Lynn Howard
2-04-94 - 12-26-04

Senorita Chili Bean Bubbles Howard
11-05-94 - 11-11-04
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luv_my_catz
post Apr 30 2005, 02:44 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 256
Joined: 31-March 05
From: Upstate NY
Member No.: 789
Ann,

I am so sorry you are having a sad time ~ you have helped so many people here including myself with your selfless sharing and compassion. I am so new here ~ yet since I lost my Amber on 3/28 I have felt such healing from everyone ~ I only wish all of that for you ~ Peace Be With You.

Sincerely,
Kathryn


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Peace Be With You ~ Kathryn ~ Angel Amber ~ Angel CC~ and Sammie

I lost my Amber Tabby Girl of nearly 20 years on 3/28/05 after a valiant battle with end stage CRF. Always a beacon in the storm ~ steady and true.

C.C was my purebred White Angora I lost to cancer on 10/22/05 at age 13~ A Big Gentle yet Oddly Eccentric Creature ~Through his congenital deaf ness ~He brought an innocent joy to my life and light to my heart

I also adopted an 8 yr old Burmese named Samantha who led me back into my own room ~ still a stranger to me ~ she sweetly gives peace to Amber's final days spent there and lights my way to see in the darkness of the spaces that my precious CC has left behind.
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Posts in this topic
- Ann H   Tears Soaked My Pillow   Apr 30 2005, 07:44 AM
- - FurBabyMom   Ann, I'm so sorry that the sadness has snuck u...   Apr 30 2005, 07:58 AM
- - Wanda   Oh,Ann, I am so sorry that you have went backwards...   Apr 30 2005, 08:00 AM
- - Kathleen032   Dear Ann, I was thinking back to where I was emot...   Apr 30 2005, 08:12 AM
- - jzzlvr13   Hi Anne, I was just going to post a similar messa...   Apr 30 2005, 11:42 AM
- - Ann H   Thank you Dawn, Wanda, Kathleen, and Barbara and S...   Apr 30 2005, 01:05 PM
- - jzzlvr13   Hi again Anne, I have to admit, I sleep with one ...   Apr 30 2005, 01:18 PM
- - luv_my_catz   Ann, I am so sorry you are having a sad time ~ yo...   Apr 30 2005, 02:44 PM
- - Romeo's_daddy   [QUOTE](Ok if I want to be truthful I looked at al...   Apr 30 2005, 05:49 PM
- - Kristie   Ann, I'm so sorry to hear that you are feelin...   Apr 30 2005, 06:08 PM
- - Kristie   Romeo's Daddy, I don't begrudge you your ...   Apr 30 2005, 06:20 PM
- - Geraldine   Dear Ann, My deepest, deepest condolences for you...   May 1 2005, 07:59 PM
- - Dawn   Dear Ann, I can understand your pain. I have had ...   May 1 2005, 08:10 PM
- - LS Support   ok, now that ive read the post that has people cha...   May 2 2005, 10:57 AM
- - Ladypurr   Dear Ann, the pictures you've posted of your ...   May 5 2005, 02:34 PM

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