I Had To Let Her Go Options

[Golden327]

Last night, after my cat had stopped eating for a few days, I decided to take her to the vet. She refused to eat anything I put in front of her, even a piece of turkey which a week before she would have begged me for. When I took her in, it was evident that it was over. She had kidney failure and heart disease. She couldn't make it anymore.
My poor Butterscotch. It's the hardest thing I ever had to do, handing her to the vet and saying goodbye. Mentally she was still there and I just ache wondering whether she knew what was happening. I just hope she wasn't angry at me for taking her there. She was just in too much pain.
I've had her since I was six, since first grade. I'm 24 now and she's been with me for every important thing I've ever went through. Every memory I have, includes her. I don't know how to get through this. I cry so much because everywhere I look reminds me of her. Every sound I hear, I look, thinking it's her.
We have a golden Retriever also, and i feel that she is confused. She wants to know where her buddy of 13 years is.
My kitty gave me so much joy over the years and I love her so much. I found this site while I was crying tonight. I've lost a pet before, but never one who I had been through so much with. She was always there when I came home, and always crawling on my lap when I needed her. I miss her warmth.
One of the hardest things is that the man that I am in love with is allergic to cats. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to fill the void that she left behind. Not that I would want to replace her.... but it's hard, when I'm such a cat person.

[luv_my_catz]

Dear Kendra ~ I loved the reply you wrote to Audrey and the photos you shared ~ what a wonderful expression of feelings ~ the things you share are filled with the spirit of you and Butterscotch ~ and how she is such a huge part of the life you live ~ I say that in present tense because over the past weeks I have learned that although the earthly body changes ~ there is a mystery of life I have gotten closer to ~ it has something to do with the fact that our souls are forever connected to those we have and continue to love ~ Your whole post there is such a light in the dark ~ filled with love ~ it helps me ~ You are so brave ~ Every day I come "here" to LS and read the messages ~ many times I am too filled with emotion to post my own feelings ~ but reading and replying to others is such a gift in the journey of my own healing ~ there are such vast spaces of emptiness in my spirit ~ and I too want to move forward with Amber forever in my heart ~ and part of my souls definition. ~ I know I will be there one day ~ but for now I am learning each day what it means to no longer have Amber here ~ it is so hard to continue on with the details of life ~ yet we somehow find a way ~ and for me part of that process is being part of the LS Community ~ Thanks to you and all ~ Sincerely, Kathryn