Lost My Amber After Nearly 20 Years, Pet Loss and Grief Options

[luv_my_catz]

Good Day all ~ I am a new comer here ~ I have recently lost my tabby cat named Amber after nearly 20 years of constant companionship and love ~ She died 03/28/05 from End Stage CRF after a valiant battle, we had to help her cross ~as I held her on my chest over my heart and told her how much I loved her ~ Yet ~ I am sitting here today "Day 3" of being without her and am at a loss at how to proceed. As life is never easy I am also recouperating from a horrible case of the flu virus that wracked my body physically for the past week during which I have had to deal with the loss of my Angel Tabby Amber ~ I have screamed her name in the night ~ laid on her bed and could barely get up ~ I cannot go in my bedroom and turn off her music or touch anything in the room - she lived in the Master suite during her last years to keep her safe from the other male cat who saw her old age as liscence to attack her continually - it is hard for me to describe the feeling of emptiness that remains there in that room and in my heart - we loved sharing everything in there - it was our sanctuary away from everything - My other cat has no adjustments - he is actually happy I no longer dissapear into the Master Suite for parts of each day - I cannot think of what to do next. I have no reference point for that part of my life that Amber "directed" (Cat owners you know what I mean ....) Where can I find info on how to cope with this - she was the littlest angel with the biggest and sweetest heart - and an opinion about everything I did - she kept me inline and now I just don't know what to do. My heart aches and my soul feels hollow...thanks for listening - I am trying so hard to figure out what to do - I will get her ashes back this week - I don't know what to do with them either - Many thanks ~ Kathryn and Angel Ambie

[CheriAnn]

Kathryn,

I am SO happy to hear that you have been able to return to work. I'm sorry I didn't get a reply in here to you sooner

I know that with my own experience, I returned to work immediately. I lost my sweet Rachael on a Saturday, and that Monday I was back at work. I felt I needed to keep my "routine" the same to keep my sanity. Like with you, my co-workers were great! They all understood how I felt. My cubicle at work is wall to wall pictures of my furbabies! They all knew that Rachael meant the world to me. I cried ALOT at work, but noticed that people just accepted it and didn't make a big deal of it. I remember feeling strange when a co-worker would walk up and ask me a question about work, acting like nothing was wrong. Yet, I was standing there with tears rolling down my cheeks.

After the first day or two, I started working on a little memorial for her in my cubicle. To this day (6 months later) I still have a whole wall dedicated to her memory. I have poems and her pictures. I have the Rainbow Bridge story hanging too. It really helped me feel better at work.

You keep doing everything you can to comfort yourself. Your pain is still so new and fresh, but in time you will heal. I can now talk about my Rachael and share stories without breaking down. I can look at her pictures while I am working and smile. Like you said, she was a precious gift to me. I feel SO blessed to have shared with my life with her.

Be strong for your precious Amber! She had the very best life possible, thanks to you

Cheri