Missing Jameel, Not wanting to let go... Options

[cwgrlsrck]

It's been over a month since I put my beloved horse Jameel down. It's been several weeks since I've been to the site as well. I have not allowed myself to cry or feel those painful emotions that go along with the loss of my pet, that was until yesterday when my friend came out to trim my other horses feet. He asked where the "old black mare" was and when I said that she had colicked and I had to put her to sleep, it was like tearing an old wound open again. I so much want her to be there every morning waiting for me when I wake up. I can't stop looking for her.

I can't seem to let go of her and believing that she will be there waiting for me when I open the door to go feed the others. I can't seem to get past this...