Guilt About Euthenasia, Euthenasia not only due to illness Options

[bull83]

Max was almost 13 yrs old. He was a sweet, loving & protecting dog. We Euthenised him today. His health was failing. He would romp in the yard and come back limping. He was pretty thin/bony. His eyesight was weak. He got confused more and more in the last couple months. We have had several incidents in the last 2 yrs when my husband or I were a little unsure if he was going to snap at us or bite us. This saturday my husband walked him to the garage (he stays there for warmth when we leave), Max again got confused/scared, reason unknown, and he turned and bit twice on hubbys wrist. He broke free, ran to our vehicle where both babies under age 2 were strapped into their car seats and jumped in the front seats. When hubby attempted to retrieve him, Max jumped in the back and trampled the children. The kids are fine. We have never really had a true discussion on our fears of Max with he children. He was a great protector. I know he loved the children. He would always find them, checking on them when he entered the room. But he was an Animal and we were so afraid he would get confused or be startled and accidently injur one of our beautiful babies. I know surrendering him or adopting him out was not an option but, I am torn up inside. My mother took him to the Vet. She held him until the end and reassured us of how wonderfully peaceful the process was. WIll my guilt lessen? It's only been a couple hours. I feel like a zombie. This is my biggest loss. I've read a bunch about animals that were really really ill. Max was on his way but still had life left. My childrens safety comes first. WHen I think of them I calm a little but then I picture Max again and my stomach twists. It's 1 am, Max is usually next tp my bed, tonight is the first night I won't hear him dreaming. Please post if you have any thoughts. Not sure what type of ritual to do. I did not ask for his ashes. I read to put his tags on my keychain but it's too early for that. I'd be crying everywhere I went. Please help. I'm Missing Max.

[billyc]

I 've said it before - I know how that guilt feels. I had our cat Whitey euthanized. I did not want to. I know I did it because I thot it was the best thing for him, but I've had regrets. Tons of them. I recall how he never lost his appetite & I say to myself "he wan't ready". I feel I should have waited a little longer. These 2 Jehovah Witnesses kind of rushed us & pushed us into it. They'd had to put their dog to sleep that I think they'd had for 16 years. I doubt if ;;;;; Sweety, our calico kitten, found abandoned at a church, just jumped into my lap. She made those semicolons, & I won't change them, for tho she only stayed up here a moment, it was a comfort to me. Generally, she loves my wife the best, so I don't get much notice from her as a rule. I was fixing to type, I doubt if we even got to keep Whitey a full 3 years. But they rushed us. Anyway, maybe it was the right time after all, for all of us were depressed. Whitey because he couldn't go out, & me because I couldn't let him. Yes, I felt guilty & still do sometimes. But others have assured me I did the right thing, besides the JWs. Only they don't believe Jehovah will ever let me see him again, & I just can't deal with that. I want to believe I will. I wish so bad that I could. "Lord, help thou mine unbelief!" -- love, billyc.