Okay, I Need Some Advice...., Our Beloved Ernestine.... Options

[Guest_Muffins_*]

Hi Everyone:
Call me crazy/nuts, I don't know.
Last night I was actually looking in the computer at "no-kill" shelters, and looking at pictures of all kinds of "furbabies" that are looking for a home and to be loved.
Of course, before this, Ben & I were talking and (we were both "coherant"; ?spelling).
We, like everyone in here: Love all animals, have had much loved "fur-babies" all of our lives. We've loved, we've lost, but, Oh, how much fuller our hearts are for having loved our babies that have gone over the bridge to forever.

I was Ernestine's mom since she was six weeks old, in 1984; we had to put her and sick & hurting little body, to sleep on Saturday, February 7, 2004 at noon. My heart has tripled in size because of my girl... She loved me no matter what. And, I & Ben, always loved her & we always will. She takes up a huge part of our hearts.

I'm probably going to start rambling, and not sure if this will make sense TO ANYONE.......... Here goes....

I put in an e-mail application at this "no-kill" shelter, and I got an e-mail message, plus a phone call. They needed me to call my vet so they could "get a reference on us". That's fine, and very understandable.
I heard the call as I was waking up, and thought to myself, "Hmmm, what did I do????"
And then I started "name calling" myself in my head...... "You must be a non-caring, heartless, expletive(s), human being...." Of course, last night as Ben & I were talking, I felt happy & calm..
I said, "No disrespect at all to our beloved baby-girl ErnieBird, but, she made my heart so big..... I would really love to adopt a couple (so they can be playmates; I should've done that for my girl at when she was 6 weeks old), of babies, I feel good about it" And, again, "sincerely, there is "NO DISRESPECT" to my little girl Ernestine, at all"...

For, my little girl "lives in my heart", she is with me... She knows that we did all we could (medically) for her and she was so sick. I have every comfort in knowing that she is happy, healthy & running around playing... She's young again, and has no pain....

When I was looking through these shelters, dear God, there are sooooooooo many little ones looking for a home, looking to be loved.... It is very sad to see them all.
The "four" I looked at (two different shelters); Two sisters, "Margo & Rita", and the others were brother & sister (Pebbles & BamBam).

I am not a heartless human being, and neither is Ben.... Did "something" just "come over us" for our 2 hour talk last night, or, was it something else???

We "do not feel the need to have a couple of fur-babies", because really, don't our little ones OWN US????
But, we have a lot of love to give - our hearts are big.... Animal friends are the best; so trusting, non-judgemental, happy just to be petted & feel a little love in their hearts... They love their human family; after all, what's better than a full tummy, to be petted & brushed & to feel a kiss on the top of their head....etc., etc., etc....

We're not bad people at all, so I hope all of you won't think the things I said to myself in my head when that call came in......
We will always, always & forever love our girl Ernestine.... For, she really does live in our hearts and in our heads..
What do you think??? Have I gone crazy, or, is this "normal" for us??

Thank you so much for listening.....
Love, Denise & Ben

[beth4275]

Tracey,

Just a thought here that you might be interested in. Getting a "papered" dog is no guarantee. My two pups came from a very respected breeder (they are Westies) and they have "papers". However, we have recently discovered that my little Basil was born with a genetic problem that needed to be corrected by surgery. We just had the surgery done on Monday and he is recovering but it will be at least 6 months before he is back to himself. The breeder however has been wonderful and apologetic ... she is returning to us the money we paid (she offered I didn't ask). This is the first time she has run across his problem and is taking steps to insure that it doesn't happen again. Anyhow, my point here is that pedigree doesn't guarantee anything ... my snoops came from a backyard breeder and he had no health issues until his later years (he lived 16.5 years). I think just like human babies anything can happen no matter how much you try to keep it from happening.

A shelter dog or even a rescue is a wonderful thing. If you are not comfortable with shelters then you can contact a rescue group (most pedigreed dogs have a rescue) and they can help you. Unfortunately, I learned about rescues after I got my current two or I probably would have gone that way. If you want more information please feel free to contact me ...

Denise,

Yes I do read the board quite frequently ... I don't always post because I still get very upset thinking about my baby. But, every post on here touches my heart and I do honestly feel a deep sadness whenever someone loses a fur-baby. I have found a lot of comfort here and hope that someday I can post about my experiences with Snoops. He was a wonderful little man and remains an integral part of my life. He was the best part of my life and I miss him terribly. But it is true what you have read here. I lost my Snoops in September and not a day goes by that I do not think about him and wish he were here. The biggest change I have noticed is that when I first got my two (Rosie & Basil) I would have traded them for Snoops in a heartbeat ... now I want them all ... I would not trade one for the other under any cir%%stances as each has now become a part of me and I them. The pain does diminish somewhat and the days do get easier. I even laugh now when I think about some of the things Snoops used to do and I do find myself watching to see if my new little ones have any of his traits ... but at the same time I am grateful for the differences.

I hope someday that both you and Tracey will have new little fur-baby in your life. Not to replace your loved ones but because it sounds as if you each have so much love to give these little ones and it would be such a shame not to be able to share it. With that said, you need to be emotionally ready to do that ... what is important right now is mourn your lost one in the way that is best for you. Don't try and hide it because believe me it will come out when you least expect it. I wish all brighter days ahead ... and hope the someday you can enjoy the memories again (and yes that will come).

Hugs to you all,
Beth