Okay, I Need Some Advice...., Our Beloved Ernestine.... Options

[Guest_Muffins_*]

Hi Everyone:
Call me crazy/nuts, I don't know.
Last night I was actually looking in the computer at "no-kill" shelters, and looking at pictures of all kinds of "furbabies" that are looking for a home and to be loved.
Of course, before this, Ben & I were talking and (we were both "coherant"; ?spelling).
We, like everyone in here: Love all animals, have had much loved "fur-babies" all of our lives. We've loved, we've lost, but, Oh, how much fuller our hearts are for having loved our babies that have gone over the bridge to forever.

I was Ernestine's mom since she was six weeks old, in 1984; we had to put her and sick & hurting little body, to sleep on Saturday, February 7, 2004 at noon. My heart has tripled in size because of my girl... She loved me no matter what. And, I & Ben, always loved her & we always will. She takes up a huge part of our hearts.

I'm probably going to start rambling, and not sure if this will make sense TO ANYONE.......... Here goes....

I put in an e-mail application at this "no-kill" shelter, and I got an e-mail message, plus a phone call. They needed me to call my vet so they could "get a reference on us". That's fine, and very understandable.
I heard the call as I was waking up, and thought to myself, "Hmmm, what did I do????"
And then I started "name calling" myself in my head...... "You must be a non-caring, heartless, expletive(s), human being...." Of course, last night as Ben & I were talking, I felt happy & calm..
I said, "No disrespect at all to our beloved baby-girl ErnieBird, but, she made my heart so big..... I would really love to adopt a couple (so they can be playmates; I should've done that for my girl at when she was 6 weeks old), of babies, I feel good about it" And, again, "sincerely, there is "NO DISRESPECT" to my little girl Ernestine, at all"...

For, my little girl "lives in my heart", she is with me... She knows that we did all we could (medically) for her and she was so sick. I have every comfort in knowing that she is happy, healthy & running around playing... She's young again, and has no pain....

When I was looking through these shelters, dear God, there are sooooooooo many little ones looking for a home, looking to be loved.... It is very sad to see them all.
The "four" I looked at (two different shelters); Two sisters, "Margo & Rita", and the others were brother & sister (Pebbles & BamBam).

I am not a heartless human being, and neither is Ben.... Did "something" just "come over us" for our 2 hour talk last night, or, was it something else???

We "do not feel the need to have a couple of fur-babies", because really, don't our little ones OWN US????
But, we have a lot of love to give - our hearts are big.... Animal friends are the best; so trusting, non-judgemental, happy just to be petted & feel a little love in their hearts... They love their human family; after all, what's better than a full tummy, to be petted & brushed & to feel a kiss on the top of their head....etc., etc., etc....

We're not bad people at all, so I hope all of you won't think the things I said to myself in my head when that call came in......
We will always, always & forever love our girl Ernestine.... For, she really does live in our hearts and in our heads..
What do you think??? Have I gone crazy, or, is this "normal" for us??

Thank you so much for listening.....
Love, Denise & Ben

[Tracey]

Hi Denise,

I know how you feel about the mixed emotions of getting a new furbaby. I thought that there was no way I would get another dog. I even posted that here. It's been a little over a month since I lost Megan and even though I still have Molly, I find myself constantly scanning the dog ads and SPCA website in search of a dog. The timing is not right for me, I live in Canada and we have several feet of snow and it's been cold so it's not ideal puppy time. And I have to admit that I am afraid to get another dog. I got Meg from a "backyard breeder" and had nothing but problems with her health. She did have an incredible personality which made her health issues tolerable. But she was not quite 6 when she died (her birthday is Valetines Day) and I'm pissed that I've been robbed of another 6 years with her. So I'm now reluctant to get a dog from a shelter or another backyard breeder. And to get a papered dog is more than I can afford. So in the mean time I'm loving Molly, and keeping my eyes open for a dog.

Thanks for taking a look at Megan. She was beautiful and was really an amazing dog. I had the dogs before my people babies and she was absolutely amazing with them. When they would cry she would run to the crib and check them and then come to find me. They both learned how to stand by grabbing some fur and pulling up. When they were crawling Meg would let them use her as a slide. She never raised an eyebrow or a growl at them. She loved them and they were truly best friends.

It finally hit my little one last night that Megan was gone. She cried for her and kept sobbing that she missed Meggie. It broke my heart. Molly tolerates the girls but she just does not love them like Meg did. I really hope that I find another dog like Meg for them. I know there'll never be another Megan and that I'll never replace her, but it sure would be nice for my girls to have another dog like her.

Tracey