Guilt About Euthenasia, Euthenasia not only due to illness Options

[bull83]

Max was almost 13 yrs old. He was a sweet, loving & protecting dog. We Euthenised him today. His health was failing. He would romp in the yard and come back limping. He was pretty thin/bony. His eyesight was weak. He got confused more and more in the last couple months. We have had several incidents in the last 2 yrs when my husband or I were a little unsure if he was going to snap at us or bite us. This saturday my husband walked him to the garage (he stays there for warmth when we leave), Max again got confused/scared, reason unknown, and he turned and bit twice on hubbys wrist. He broke free, ran to our vehicle where both babies under age 2 were strapped into their car seats and jumped in the front seats. When hubby attempted to retrieve him, Max jumped in the back and trampled the children. The kids are fine. We have never really had a true discussion on our fears of Max with he children. He was a great protector. I know he loved the children. He would always find them, checking on them when he entered the room. But he was an Animal and we were so afraid he would get confused or be startled and accidently injur one of our beautiful babies. I know surrendering him or adopting him out was not an option but, I am torn up inside. My mother took him to the Vet. She held him until the end and reassured us of how wonderfully peaceful the process was. WIll my guilt lessen? It's only been a couple hours. I feel like a zombie. This is my biggest loss. I've read a bunch about animals that were really really ill. Max was on his way but still had life left. My childrens safety comes first. WHen I think of them I calm a little but then I picture Max again and my stomach twists. It's 1 am, Max is usually next tp my bed, tonight is the first night I won't hear him dreaming. Please post if you have any thoughts. Not sure what type of ritual to do. I did not ask for his ashes. I read to put his tags on my keychain but it's too early for that. I'd be crying everywhere I went. Please help. I'm Missing Max.

[BabyHannahsMom]

I agree 100% with everything that the others here have said. I know it hurts unbelievably and I know you miss Max with all your heart -- Max knows you loved him just as much as you always did, and that is what is important. You did not do what you did because you wanted to. Max knows that.
Marcia