I Miss My Kitty Options

[Rachelle]

This is my first year away from home at college. My dad called me two weeks ago and told me that he had to put my cat Figaro to sleep. I was just devastated . I've had Figgy since I was five years old. He's been my best friend in the whold world for 16 years. I know he was old, but when I left for college, for the most part he seemed pretty healthy. Our other cat lived to be 18, so I thought maybe he still had a couple of years left at least. I missed him so much durring my weeks away at college. I'd try to come home during weekends as much as I could. My dad would tell me that he was worried about Figgy, that he might be getting sick, and he was getting very skinny. But everytime I went home I was so happy to see him, and he seemed happy to see me, and he'd sit on my lap and purr just like always so I thought he was still okay. I guess looking back on it. He did look pretty sick, but I just couldn't imagine life without him, so I just didn't want to see it before.
Like I said, I'd try to come home on weekends as much as I could, about every other week or so, but I had been so busy with schoolwork and my internship that I had to stay up for nearly a month straight. My dad was getting ready for a trip to New Zeland with his girlfriend, and he told me he'd taken Figgy to the vet to see if he'd be okay while my dad was gone, with just somebody coming in once a day to feed him and make sure his litter box was clean, but the vet told him that he was too sick and they had to put him to sleep. I was so sad for several days after I heard this. During the first two days i couldn't do anything. Then throughout the week I started to feel a little better. I was doing okay and coping pretty good for several days but today it just hit me again all of a sudden.
I feel so horrible. I feel like I abandoned him. I should've gone home sooner. What if he died thinking I abandoned him? I know he's at peace now. That he's happy in kitty heaven but I just wish their was some way I could see him again. To be sure he knows how much I love him and that I didn't mean to be gone so long. I'm not doing so hot in my classes anyways, I feel like I shouldn't be here. I just feel so lost.
I was trying to find something that I could read to chear me up and that's how found this website. I'm sorry if this post is hard to read, I can't type so well right now, I'm still pretty upset.
Thank you for listening.

[Amber]

figaro sounds like a doll! i'm sorry that he is no longer with you. our experiences with the loss of cats is similar. i am 24, just graduated college 2 yrs ago, and have had my kitty since i was 10. like you, i don't hardly remember a time in my life when kitty wasn't there. she was with me through so much - high school and college, getting a job and moving away from home. i'm sorry that you didn't get to say good-bye to your figgy - but i'm sure that he knows how much you love him. you have shown him for so many years. he does not blame you for not being there, i'm sure. we are human, we have responsibilities - right now yours is going to class.
although it hurts so much right now, you will reach a point when you can look back at all of the times that you spent with your precious figaro and smile instead of cry. for a long time i couldn't look at the picture of kitty i have at work without breaking down. now i look at it all the time and smile when i think about all of the silly things that she used to do. be strong, ah