It's Been 25 Days, Duchess & Cocoa's Mommy Options

[sunrise]

Its been 25 days since losing my precious Duchess & 10 days since adopting Cocoa
Although I do not yet feel any love for my new furbaby -- she has brought me out of my intense depression. She is a very pretty 8 month old puppy so full of energy who makes me laugh because she is so cute & affectionate. She wakes me & my husband up in the morning with tails wags & wet kisses There are times when she is sleeping that I look at her & see a little bit of Duchess & it keeps me going. In time she will find her way into my heart & maybe this decision was a good one because I have no time to sit & cry anymore.
If someone told me that my heart would just shut down like this I would never have believed it. My love & affection for Duchess is so very intense -- so much -- that it has left me numb

I keep looking at Cocoa when she is at play or sleeping & sometimes -- I go over to her and kiss her. I keep asking myself if I can ever allow myself to feel again. My husband tells me that in time I will
What an empty feeling it is when your intense ability to love is no longer present. I feel like a part of me has died along with Duchess:(
I will always love my Duchess & she will always be in our hearts

My heart is frozen right now but I hope that at some point I will be able to feel again. In the meanwhile I will continue to do the best I can to treat this new baby with affection. I want her to have good puppy memories & hopefully this thought will keep my mind focused on her development.
Bernadette Duchess & Cocoa's Mommy

[Ann H]

Dear Bernadette, I am so sorry that you are missing your sweet Duchess. I know how hard it is and the pain that you feel. They say time heals all wounds but I believe it just eases it some. Time will help to lessen the pain and allow us to continue with our lives.

I am glad that you made up your mind to keep Cocoa and to give her a good life. I believe that would make Duchess happy and she would want you to love another baby. I know it feels like our hearts are frozen but the love is still there to give.

We will always cherish the love of our lost ones. Nothing will change about that. But hearts are made to love and it is not wrong to give love to another baby. Somehow that getting a new baby tells me that our love to our first babies was so wonderful. So wonderful that we want to experience and try to come close to what we had.
Love, Ann