Sudden Loss Of Ted, Grief Options

[Ted's Mom]

My husband found Ted and his sister Ellie two weeks after we lost our first cat (LeeLee) due to kidney failure. This was almost two year's ago. Ted and Ellie were brother and sister and were so small that we thought Ellie was a boy for several days. We were still grieving for LeeLee and didn't think we were ready for a new pet and we now had two. Over the past two years, Ted stole my heart. I loved him and he loved me equally as much or more. He could hear me putting clean sheets on the bed from miles away and he would run and get under the sheet. I would just make him up in the bed and have to get him out later. He loved that and so did I.

Last night, my husband came home and Ted was laying on the sidewalk in front of house dead. He had no visible injuries, no blood, no broken bones, nothing. We can only imagine that he got into something poisonus or was given something poisonos. He was only 2 years old (if that) so I never dreamed he would be gone so soon.

My heart is broken and I am grieving for him like I have never grieved for another pet. I think it's because he was "mine." He loved me more than anyone else in the world. I miss everything about him down to the silly little looks he got on his face sometimes.

I'm also worried about Ellie. Although they didn't always get along, this was her brother and they have never been separated. She's been looking for him today so I don't think she realizes he is gone yet. I think there are rough days ahead for her.

Thank you for letting me vent about Ted to people that obviously understand. I can honestly say that I know how each of you are feeling and I am so sorry for your loss.

[SJ J & S]

From what little I understand of poisons is it’s a slow and painful death and it sounds like Ted went quickly, which I know doesn’t help you with your loss of him. It’s so hard to understand why they have to go when we love them soooo much and when exactly was it that they stole our hearts.

That’s a wonderful memory of him messing up your bed while your trying to make it, and although his life was so short it was full of love and I'm sure his spirit at least is still with you, if only we knew how to see.

Take care of Ellie and give her a big hug from me.

Love Sue

[LS Support]

pet friends and siblings often go through a period of confusion. there is an article pinned
in this forum that includes some info on dealing with pet pet-loss. the survivor of close
friends sometimes show their confusion/stress in odd ways, such as apparently having amnesia
when it comes to toilet habits (regression) and wandering around the house nervously
meowing or whining, sometimes yowling. if there are other pets in the household, squabbles
or worse may result. if their are young children in the house, keep an eye on both of them.
like their human counterparts, animals take time to heal, and at different rates.

since Ted's cause of death was undetermined, i was wondering if you vet suggested
a necropsy. if it was poison, it would be a good idea to figure out if it was organic
or malicious, so you can better protect Ellie.

[beth4275]

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I understand about missing all the little things but with time it does get a bit easier even if it doesn't seem that way right now.

Have you tried talking to Ellie and explaining to her where Ted is ... I know it may sound silly but I honestly think it might help.

My younger sister has a little Maltese (Harley) who just loved my Snoopy and after Snoopy passed away the first time Harley came to the house he looked all over the place for him. He even went down to the basement and then came halfway up the steps and started "crying". I went down to him and explained as best I could to him where Snoopy was and Harley seemed to understand ... he stopped crying anyway. You might want to try that ...

Again ... I am sorry for your loss ...

[ComeBackScott]

Ted sounds like he was one dog in a million. I love the story of you making him into the bed. Is there anything poisonous around your area? You may want to check around to see what might have caused his death for Ellie's sake. And try to comfort Ellie, for you have both lost, and you both need each other right now. When I had Scott put down, just moments after he fell, my other old horse started whinnying for him. He knew exactly what happened and was crushed. I wished I'd stayed to comfort him, but I was so wasted from losing my baby that I just went home. Now they are both gone, and I know why, because he went to be with Scott, they were inseparable. Tell Ellie that all of us on this site are thinking about her and Ted. I wish you all peace.

Annica

[Ted's Mom]

Thank you to everyone who has replied; I appreciate all of your thoughts and kind words. Our vet did not suggest a necropsy (I had to look that up to see what it meant) so we just buried Ted. I don't guess we will ever know exactly what happened.

My husband and I searched the neighborhood for any poisons (antifreeze, rat poison, etc.) and didn't find anything. My husband smelt of Ted's mouth and paws and didn't smell anything. I am beginning to think he may have had a heart attack, blood clot or anuerysm since it happened so suddenly. My sister had been at our house most of the day (minus a few hours); she was last to see him around 3:30 that afternoon. When my husband got home around 6:30, Ted was lying on the sidewalk and was gone. From what I have read about poisoning, it happens it quickly but not that fast.

Ellie seems to be doing o.k. My husband was out of town this weekend and she always acts a little strange when he is gone. I haved tried to talk to her about Ted, but as soon as I start talking she jumps up and moves away. She just seems unsettled but so am I. Ellie did see Ted before we buried him and by the look on her face, I think she understood that he was gone. Ellie's more distant than Ted; she seems to be more of a loner. So, she is dealing with it in her own way and coming to us for some comfort. I guess we just need to give her the time and attention she needs.

Thanks for all of the advice. It is already getting easier; I can go several hours without crying now.

[Tony in Phoenix]

Please accept my condolences. As a person who lost my pet almost 2 weeks ago, I can attest that it does get better as time goes on. You never forget, but the pain subsides.

I am sorry!

Tony (Kudi's Dad)

[beth]

I am sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience several years ago. A cat I had for 18 years was found lying in the yard dead. There was nothing visibly wrong with her any where. I assumed it was a heart attack etc.. Then 5 months later another cat I had wanted out to go to the bathroom. I heard a dog bark and raced out to see about him. Several dogs were standing around him, I chased them away and rushed him to the pet ER but he died. They said it had crushed his trachea. Outside however there were no visible marks to him either. Now I am very protective of my cats keeping them inside or in the fenced in yard with a pet fence in system. However, as you may read my "missing" cat story, nothing is guaranteed no matter how we try to protect them. I did want you to know, to protect Ellie, that this could be what happened to Ted. I am sorry for your pain. Beth