Why Do I Love Sadie? Let Me Count The Ways..., grief, loss Options

[stephandsadie]

I loved everything about her... Her, my little Honey Bear, my Sardine, my little Kissy Buttons, my Ruff-ruff, my Bee-bop, my Boo Bear, my Fuzzy Buns, my Sadie Blackbeard. My soul-mate. She was nice to all animals; the only ones she didn’t like were squirrels, and that was mainly because they teased her. She was kind and playful toward all dogs, cats, people, small reptiles, insects... She was very much like me, in almost every way; when I first got her, she forced me to love myself at a time when I wasn’t sure if I liked myself or not. She was silly, sensitive, and liked to sleep a lot (like me) but was always up for a good walk (like me). She was considerate, kind, lovable, and easy-going. She was smart, curious, and had a great memory. She loved food. She was loyal. She gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, and she taught me to do the same. I loved her more than any pet I’ve ever had; there are very, very few people that I love more than her. I am suffering a huge emptiness, the saddest days that only very gradually get better as time passes. I will never love another animal more than I love her. I would give anything to have her with me again. I am angry that she didn’t reach her sixth birthday, but happy that I knew her death was drawing near. I’m glad that she no longer suffers, but anguished over the fact that she’s gone. I’ve cried so many times, for so long, in three “short” weeks, and I wonder when the pain will start to significantly subside. When she died, she took a huge piece of my heart and my fondness for life, a fondness that I didn’t really know I had, since she had led me to it quite gradually, over time. She was my best friend, and I want her back very badly. I could kick myself for all the times I stayed out late, left her in the car, scolded her... What I wouldn’t give for another day with my girl! I hope she knew that I loved her more than anything.

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[BabyHannahsMom]

I can totally relate to your post. I had so many different names for Hannah too. I didn't know many other people did that!

Also, I get so upset with myself when I think of times when I had her that I felt lonely -- missing some guy who wasn't worth anything. And like you, all the times I stayed out late, all the times she wanted to play or something, but I was too busy! All that time, I had everything I really ever needed in my Hannah girl. I don't want anything really anymore, except to have my Hannah back again. But I know I have to work on not feeling that way. It is the same thing -- I'm pretty sure most of us here on this site have people in this world who love us and depend on us for at least something, yet we long for our babies. I don't want to lose anyone else and feel that I was so bereaved over Hannah that I didn't give them love or help they needed. It's so hard though when our hearts are breaking. It's so very difficult! I miss my baby too. I'm sure your baby knew you did love her more than anything. I'm sure. I'm sorry that her time with you was so short.
Love,
Marcia

[Kathleen032]

Sadie is such a beautiful girl!

I can totally relate to feeling bad about staying out late, scolding, not playing tug-o-rope enough, etc. I'd play tug-o-rope all night long if it meant I'd have my Shiloh back. I think the song "One More Day" sums up my feelings. I hear it, and end up sobbing.

Find comfort in knowing that what you gave Sadie was a wonderful life. You made her world a better place by loving her, she made your world a better place by loving you. If you have a chance, read my post "Shiloh's Final Wish" in the Memorials, Tributes, and Eulogies Forum. I'm sure it's Sadie's final wish too.

Take care,
Kathleen

[ChrissyW]

I know everyone hear feels the way you do about your special furbaby. I know I did. It is hard but I try to stop and think that they were there for a reason and they knew that we needed them. They were willing to take a chance on us and love us but when they had to go they probably hoped and knew that that we could make it on our own now. They are a part of us forever. We will have our ups and our downs just like I am having now. I am lost right now . . . and can't figure out why but only reason lately is I think that our botched adoption of a new dog gone bad has brought all those sad feelings back. But then I have my good days. I look at a picture of my boy and I remember all the good times. I am glad Sadie was a good part of your life just as all our special furbabies were to all of us. I would do anything to have my Indy here another day but not at his suffering. I couldn't bear that. Please remember all the good times and come here often and chat . . . it always helps. You and Sadie and my boy Indy are in my thoughts always. I can see you loved Sadie with all your being and that shows in this post. Be sure that your Sadie loved you no matter what and I am sure that she wouldn't change a thing in your lives together. She enjoyed every minute of it. I hope this gives you some good memories for a little while so your tears will stop and you will remember that beautiful furbaby as she was with you right now. . . because really she is . . . she is where no one can take her away from you . . . your heart. (Maybe I should read this to myself!!!!) You are in my thoughts, Stephanie.
Chrissy W

[dakota28]

I'm so sorry you lost your Sadie. I think we all had the feelings you have. My husband mentioned to me the other day he wished he never would have yelled at our Niki. We lost her 6 months ago and we still think back at things we should and shouldn't have done. You gave her a good home and she gave you unconditional love. I have a magnet on my fridge that says "May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am" Good words to live by. Take Care.

[Ann H]

That is a beauiful picture of your baby and there is no doubt as to how much you loved your wonderful little girl. I have not lost my beautiful baby yet but I know my heart and soul will be taken when I do. I am sure she knew you loved her more than anything and I am so sorry she did not reach her 6th birthday
Snookie's Mama, Ann