Today is July 1 and this is the day I told myself I would make this post.

On April 21, 2015 at around 5:35 pm my beloved friend Siegel died peacefully at home with me right by her side. She was in her 18th year and she died almost exactly 3 years after my cat friend Rusty died (Dirty Frostbitten Stray that Turned into a Prince post). I knew Siegel was growing older and more frail over the three years. I treasured every moment with her and I think she with me. In her last week she was losing bowel control so I knew the end was near. I stayed home with her the whole week. The last couple days she stopped eating and grew weaker and weaker. The night before she died I helped her off the bed and she walked (more like wobbled) to all her favorite spots and visited for a few seconds at each place. I knew what she was doing. After looking out the window she headed to her favorite spot but collapsed on the way. I carried her from then on, placing her in sunny spots all the next day. She lifted her head and looked for me whenever I left her side for a few moments and her paw was wrapped around my finger until she was too weak to hold on. She waited for my husband Mark to come home from work--stirred when she heard him come in the door (Siegel adored Mark her whole life). After he gave her a pet she took her last breaths. I am certain this is how Siegel wanted this to be--quietly at home and on her own terms.

That was how she died but that was not her life. Siegel came to live with us from the Humane Society August 15, 1998 and our house was home with her in it. She was about a year old when we got her and she had the biggest globe eyes ever. Such a beautiful cat and we knew right away she was feisty. She had an upper respiratory infection but my husband and I could not hold that little cat in a towel to give her meds. We gave up and on her own terms, she got well without meds. Every other time I tried to give her pills, she'd gobble them up in food but when I'd vacuum behind the couch, there were all the pills. Strong-willed, independent and so smart. I watched Sig make stairs out of drawers one time to get to something up on a shelf that was too high for her to reach by jumping. Sig was a small cat and we called her "Tiny" as a nickname sometimes but she had a presence 100x her size. So much personality. You knew Sig was in the room--I sometimes feel that presence still and I'm so grateful for that. Sig and I understood each other and I knew what all the little sounds meant and when I looked into those big globe eyes, it was like I could see her spirit. My son Ben when he was little used to ask how I knew what the cats were saying. I just do I'd tell him.

Siegel has left the world where I can see and hear her and I miss her so very much. My father died in the year as well as an a[attachment=6880:favorite_of_Sig_2.JPG]unt who was like a mom to me. I'm numb really and it is just too much with Sig now. This is why I told myself to wait until July 1 to post. Now I have. My heart will never be complete again but I know how to survive until we are all together again.

To Siegel: I remember you Sig. I love you kitty and always will. Farewell my beloved and loyal cat friend, but just for now. One day I will look into those big beautiful eyes and see you again my love.

Dear Sher_mark,

Siegel had a wonderful life with you and your husband, there is no doubt!! What a very loved, precious kitty. I had tears in my eyes as I read about her visiting all her favorite spots, about you placing her in sunny spots, and about her paw being wrapped around your finger!! She was definitely waiting for Mark to get home so that she could pass from her physical body while she was in the physical presence of both of you.

Just got more tears, re-reading your post. You will definitely be fully reunited. Siegel is in bliss.

Hugs,

Kathy

Hi, sher_mark, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Siegel. Even though you have traveled the grief adjustment before, each physical loss is uniquely painful because each relationship we have with each of our beloved companions is individually unique. Your beloved Siegel is so very blessed to have you and your husband for her forever Mom and Dad, and you in turn are blessed to be her sole, and soul, heirs to her eternal love.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Siegel with us. She is absolutely gorgeous. I hope today is treating you kindly, sher_mark, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Siegel's, and Rusty's, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

What a beautiful tribute and a beautiful kitty! So sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing her with us.

Thank you for responding moon_beam. I knew you would and I'm grateful. Always appreciate your kind words.

Thank you Kathy for your kind words. We did have a wonderful life with Siegel. I feel so privileged that she spent virtually her whole life with us. What a blessing she was.

Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot that you would read my post. Siegel was truly a beauty inside and out.

Today we put up the Christmas tree. When Rusty died (in 2012) and it was clear Siegel was growing older, I made lovely ornament with Siegel's picture. I knew one day it would be so very sad to put it on the tree because it would be a Christmas without Siegel's physical presence. Today was the day that ornament was hung on the tree for the first time. I've dreaded putting up the tree for this very reason. The tears flowed and keep flowing. I miss Siegel very much. I can't remember Christmas without her. It has been quite the year. In 2014 I lost my dad and this year 2015, two beloved aunts who were like moms to me and of course my beloved Siegel.

I know a lot of others on this forum will have a flood of memories that are sad this Christmas. I wish you joy in the midst of all that and strength. Take heart. Love never dies.

Love you Siegel--always.

Awww I so understand your dread of putting up the tree!

Thank you for sharing this and for your message of good wishes to us all. Yes, take heart, and yes: Love NEVER dies!


-Kathy

Hi, sher_mark, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Like our forum friend Kathy, I too can so understand how difficult it is for you to have a tree this year knowing that it would be a "first without" your beloved Siegel. What is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are grieving for the loved ones - - of every life form - - who are no longer physically with us.

One of the many things that brings to comfort to our hearts is the reality that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. I hope in some way you will know that your beloved Siegel is enjoying the beautiful tree you have this year in his loving memory - - that you will hear his soft voice in your heart saying "I love you always too."

I hope today is treating you kindly, sher_mark, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Siegel's, and Rusty's, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It is a year since Siegel died. Such a sad anniversary day it was. I miss her so much.

I love you Siegel and I always will.

Hi, sher_mark, thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your and your beloved Siegel's one year angel-versary. Just because the calendar shows that we have endured through the first year of adjusting to the physical absence of our beloved companion does not mean that the sorrow automaticlally disappears from our hearts. No matter how much time passes as we continue with our earthly journey we will always be blessed with our beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit always with us in our hearts and memories - - always a heartbeat close to us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, sher_mark, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Siegel's, and Rusty's, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It is Christmas morning 2016. I sit with the two cats that still do not get along (Edward and Cami). I sit quietly before everyone else gets up and I remember the many Christmas mornings with Siegel and Rusty (Dirty frostbitten stray that turned into a prince post) and see tiny ornaments on the tree with their pictures. I always had cat toy gifts for them and they would bat them around and play Christmas morning. Such happy memories. Miss Siegel and Rusty so much. (Siegel and Rus, I love you both and always will). There will be others on this site missing good friends this morning and I wish you strength and peace.

Hi, sher_mark, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, the time of year that is commercialized to be "the most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be "the most sad time of the year" when our hearts reflect on the beloved companions who are no longer physically with us. Even though your beloved Siegel's and Rusty's sweet Living Spirits are always and forever a heartbeat close to you, you still live in a physically oriented world where your heart and arms long to hold their physical bodies "just one more time." It is nice that you had the quiet time before the "busy-ness" of the day began yesterday to spend some private time thinking of your beloved Siegel and Rusty. Rest assured they were sharing that moment with you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, sher_mark, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Siegel's, and Rusty's, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam