I am new to this group but grateful to find it.

I lost my precious Yorkie, Kennedy, on March 3. She'd had congestive heart failure for two years and had started into renal failure that suddenly got much worse. She developed an infection in late February and couldn't seem to fight it off despite our vet's best efforts. On March 2, he did blood work and gave her two weeks to two months. On Tuesday, she started struggling to breath so a friend and I rushed her to the vet. Her lungs had completely filled with fluid in less than 24 hours. Her kidneys, lungs and heart were all failing so I made the terribly difficult decision to let her go.

She was rescued from a puppy mill, and I adopted her in February 2010. She was with me through the death of my mom, the loss of three other family members, a major job change, a move and the death of a dear friend. As long as I had her, I never felt alone. Now, although my friends and co-workers are very sympathetic, I feel lost without her. I grew up with dogs and loved each one dearly, but we had such a special connection. I know she is with my family in Heaven and I couldn't wish her back here as sick as she was, but I miss her so badly here.

Dear Kennedy's momma, I'm so sorry for your loss and can relate to all of your pain. I also had to make the decision to let my little girl, Lilly, a mini schnauzer go on March 12 as she had liver problems which seemed to come out of nowhere. She just started to deteriorate over a month. The vet said I might have her for another month or two, but it ended up being less than a week and my heart is broken. I can relate to your special bond with Kennedy, it was the same with Lilly and I so want to hold her again. Blessings to your beautiful Kennedy.

Hi Kennedy's momma,

I completely understand where you are coming from, and I am so very sad for you. I too had my cat Cloud die last Tuesday of renal failure - we knew she had it, she was diagnosed in 2012. She had been doing magnificently...until the Friday before she died. I noticed she wasn't around quite as much for breakfast and dinner..then she wasn't bothering me so much for treats either. I had a friend who works in a vet clinic over on the Saturday and she thought she might be a bit dehydrated. Anyway, I knew in my heart she was not going to beat it this time, and on the Monday I had her at my vet friend's clinic. She did blood work, but by that night I could tell she was not doing well at all - she was uncomfortable and moving about to try to sleep and her coordination was very bad.

In the morning she was struggling to breathe, and after getting my daughter to her camp, my two boys and I rushed her to my friend's clinic. She died about 10 minutes later, but it was peaceful for her (unlike my other cat's death in 2011). So, for the fact that she was 19 and was in such bad shape I was glad she didn't have to suffer anymore.

I am so sorry for your dog, it's so unbelievably gut-wrenching - they are so sweet and innocent and love you so much, it's terrible to think of them in pain. Now comes the unreal feeling that they are gone for good. I understand only too well.

Hoping you can try to think of the good life Kennedy had - the fact you rescued him from a puppy mill makes me so happy just in and of itself. I am sure he had the best life he could have with you, please try to remember that.

Moira

Thank you! I'm so sorry for your loss of Lilly. It sounds like we went through a very similar experience although Kennedy went downhill over about 10 days. When I look at the pictures I took of her on February 1 when we had a big snowstorm, I can't believe how much she changed. We were lucky to have such special babies. Blessings to your lovely Lilly and to you.

Thank you, Moira! I'm so sorry for your loss of Cloud. It is such a hard thing to lost a beloved pet! Gut-wrenching and heart-breaking.

Just yesterday, my friend was here. He went with me when Kennedy had trouble breathing. He lost his own dog in November so it was hard for him, too. We were talking about our "girls" and especially about Kennedy coming from a puppy mill. She was the "princess" and I'm so glad for every moment we had together.

Debbie

Hi, Debbie, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Kennedy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Debbie, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time because you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be so very painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is a journey frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride.

This grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Kennedy which is both emotionally and physically painful. But in the midst of the painful process of re-inventing your life without your beloved Kennedy's physical presence there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Kennedy share. Love is eternal, Debbie - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Kennedy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Kennedy with us, Debbie. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Debbie, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for your kind words. I grew up with pets so I have lost many over the years. Losing Kennedy has been the worst in my memory, but it has been the just the two of us for a while. Plus, she saw me through other losses during these past few years.

Here she is as "The Princess."

HI Debbie,

What a cute picture! She looks so tiny, smaller than my cats!

Love the princess outfit, my daughter would love it too!! Haha.

Anyway, she looks so adorable. Big hugs to you.

Moira

Hi Moira,

Thank you. We never dressed our dogs, but my elderly neighbor always wanted me to get outfits for Kennedy. When my neighbor went to a nursing home, K and I visited her so I got this outfit for the Halloween party there. She loved elderly people, probably because when I adopted Kennedy, I was taking care of my mom. They were very close.

Kennedy was small, but she has left a huge hole in her wake.

Debbie

Hi, Debbie, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of your beloved Kennedy. She is so precious in her "princess" outfit.

The pictures we take of our companions during their earthly journey with us - - both the pictures we take with a camera and the pictures that are indelibly etched in our heart - - help to remind us that the love bond we share with them is eternal - - that nothing in heaven or on earth can ever separate us. I hope as you continue to travel your earthly journey that you will find comfort in the many treasured memories you and your beloved Kennedy share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Debbie, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Kennedy's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Debbie

I am so sorry for your loss. I share your grief and sorry, and we are all here for you.

My sweet Tama passed away at the vet early morning (renal and heart failure) on March 31, and by the time I went to see her body, it was cold and rigid. I regret that I wasn't with her to hold her. I picked up her ashes last night at the vet, and it was comforting to know that she is finally back with me, but at the same time, I was devastated to realize that she won't be greeting me at the door anymore when I come home from work.

Please hang in there - please take a comfort in that many of us here in this site have experienced this gut-wrenching loss of a beloved companion (or companions), and in this forum, we hope to find some solace - we are all here for you.

Much love,

Hisae Y.