Hi Kaya's Companion, and thank you for writing and for your kind words. I am sorry, also, for your loss of Kaya last summer. I can well imagine that the pain still stings all these months later.

I will have to go over and take a look at Mark's work...I was interested in glass too, so I'm glad you included his address.

Yes, you're so right about missing the things that might have slightly annoyed us before. Molly's upstairs litter box, in the upstairs bathroom, of course she was always pushing litter outside of the box and now, well, I'd sooo love to see that litter all over the floor now! :-)

And yes, it is just such a deep, deep pain that seems to have a life of its own. And although I seem to be getting through my days "ok," there is this constant, every second, awareness of that deep, deep loss....and feeling like life is just not the same without Molly here. I just miss her so, SO much.

So, thank you for your again for your kind words and your support and encouragement. It means SO much to have others who understand to reach out to help. -Molly's mom

Right now....I am feeling like I NEVER want to get another pet. I am getting through my days maybe a little bit better, though still not without great pain when I think of Molly Rose. BUT, still, when I think about it, I never, never, never NEVER want to go through this kind of pain again! EVER!!!

DannysMom,

I wish it were true about parrots outliving us. While they do live longer than dogs or cats, their lifespan is actually only around 25-35 years depending on the size and breed. You're right that it's not unusual to hear about some parrots living for much longer, but contrary to what most people think, it's still not very common. I think tortoises are the only critters that have lifespans longer than people, so that might be the best companion for anyone who does not want to go through the agony of losing an animal friend.

My Boogie, a Blue-Fronted Amazon parrot, lived only 27 years (he passed back in October 2013), but I truly thought he would be in my life for many, many more years. It's been over six months since that terrible night and I still haven't recovered from the shock, pain and sadness. It's like a physical weight bearing down on me every waking moment and it doesn't feel like it will ever end. I know exactly where Snapdragon is coming from. I miss Boogie more than words can say. He was my whole life for over a quarter of a century. Nothing really seems to matter and I don't know how to go on without my bird...but, like all the wonderful souls on this forum, we all somehow manage to muddle through day after day.

Hi, Snapdragon, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling about the prospects of embracing another companion into your heart and home is very normal, particularly during this very painful deep grief.

Embracing a new companion is a very personal decision. Some people find it comforting to adopt quickly after a loss because having the physical closeness to a new companion - - for them - - helps them as they travel their grief adjustment journey. Some people find it helpful to wait until their deep grief has eased. Some people focus their time and energies on pet sitting for family members and friends, volunteering in their local rescue shelters, and / or participating as a foster parent until the homeless waifs can find a Forever Home. And some people decide to never embrace another companion in their heart and home - - for various reasons.

Fortunately embracing a new companion into your heart and home is not a decision you have to make at this time - - or anytime soon. It is a decision that only YOU can make as you feel it is appropriate - - and it is a decision you are free to CHANGE at any time as you feel appropriate. The bottom line is this: whatever decision you make at whatever point in time will be the RIGHT DECISION for YOU.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Snapdragon, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly Rose's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's been over three weeks now. For me it's now "Tuesdays" when I think of Molly. I dread Tuesdays, the day of the week we lost her.

I do seem to be moving through my days a little better--whatever that means. But still, inside I feel as dead as can be. I find joy in nothing. Right or wrong, good or bad, I actually try to not think of Molly that much (which is kind’a impossible, really, she's just always "there"). I looked at her picture as my avatar right now and I just feel that knife go through my heart. I would probably best describe my life right now as feeling utterly empty, and permeated by sadness. I feel quite fragile right now and mostly don't want to be around people. I really feel like I mostly just exist right now.

Snapdragon...please know I am thinking of you, and feel sooooo much of the same pain and numbness...like Gretta's Mom had said just going through the "mechanics" of life like a robot. Yes....Tuesdays....wow...I will never forget. Also, weird...My father died on the 11th (it was actually Sept. 11th - but not 2001.)

I took off today as I am not dealing well with this and work together. It was a sad day for me too, though I was able to get a few more pictures copied and found a nice pot for Mission's memorial cypress fantasy garden.

I just posted some comments on the other Memorial/tribute forum and another pic of Mission there plus a strange occurrance that happened this morning. I'll relay it again, here.

I had gone into the bedroom (Mission's room) this morning to get a few things and my big black cat, Miner, must have followed me in. I had no idea he had entered the room and so when I left, I closed the door behind me and he was closed in. I went out for a few hours and when I returned and entered the room, out dashed Miner --- in a panic, as if he's literally "seen a ghost"!! I thought WOW...I wonder if he had been visited by my Mission?? (He and Mission had actually been good buds for a while when it was just the two of them in my house after I first moved in.) Miner was the next one I rescued/brought in and they got along OK...until I started bringing other cats in and Mission decided he just didn't like being in the "crowd".

Anyway, I looked around the room and the area around my vanity that I had set up as a memorial for Mission was disturbed and in disarray. Cards and photos albums knocked over or misplaced and the Cat Fancy calendar was on the floor. I'm thinking Mission might have beat up Miner during the visitation???

I had asked Mission to send me a sign when he got over the Bridge safely. So, could this be????

Well, it was all a bit bizarre, if you ask me. But, let me just say, Snapdragon, your Molly Rose is WITH you, she is your angel and she'll be following you around and visiting with you. Just as you will always keep her close in your heart, she WILL be there close to you.

My thoughts are with you....Hugs!!! ***X


Mission's Mom

Thanks, Mission's mom. Wow, that is a strange story...who knows, eh? Thanks (again) for your ever-so kind thoughts. I'll have to go over and look for your other posting. Yeah...going through the mechanics. Nice that you took the day off...that'll give you a three-day weekend... hugs...and hoping you have a nice (as nice as possible) weekend!! **hugs**
-Molly's mom

Well, I am now in my second month of mourning Molly's passing. I feel like I would give ANYthing to have her back. Her absence has left a hole in my heart and my life. For me, although I don't feel like I'm trying to "stuff" my feelings, I do actually try not to dwell on her...when I see the chair she used to nap in, I don't allow myself to imagine her being there, I try to immediately divert my attentions to something else. To think of her all the time, to focus on her, would make it impossible. I miss her more than words can say, I miss my baby girl SOOOO much, it still hurts so, so very horribly when I do allow myself those moments to bring her to life in my mind. And I still feel like I could never, ever have another fur-friend again because the pain of their loss is torture--just so, so, SO painful. I will give money to help support other animals and take care of disadvantage animals, but I don't think I could EVER bear this kind of loss again in my lifetime.

Of course you would give anything to have her back, what a beautiful girl she was, you could see that she was a beautiful soul in her eyes. She looks a bit cheeky. I think you just do whatever you can do, don't be hard on yourself and just keep on keeping on. One day you will be able to look back and smile about the good times which I am sure there were many! I feel the same as you, I don't think I could ever have another pet agin either - the loss is just too much to bear right now.

Thanks---ha! yes, I guess you could say she could be a little cheeky at times. We had such a great balance of give 'n take, she and I; she was such a wonderful buddy, and I spoiled her rotten! Thank you for your comments. This grieving business is just hellish, isn't it, beyond anything I might have imagined. Thanks again for stopping by.

Hi, Snapdragon, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can certainly understand how you're feeling when you share with us: "I still feel like I could never, ever have another fur-friend again because the pain of their loss is torture--just so, so, SO painful. I will give money to help support other animals and take care of disadvantage animals, but I don't think I could EVER bear this kind of loss again in my lifetime." I, too, have felt the exact same way - - yet somehow at some point in time one of my beloved angels has led me in a path of finding a new companion to love and cherish. The GOOD NEWS is that you also have the freedom to change your mind when this deep painful grief has eased, and should you find yourself confronted with the opportunity of having a new companion, there is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Molly has led you to that moment in time when your heart would be ready once again. Whatever you decide about having another companion will be the RIGHT ONE for you, Snapdragon.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Snapdragon, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly Rose's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Snapdragon - I read your posts and feel exactly like you described, except I feel so dead inside I can't express it as well in writing as you have. Today is Friday (which means another Sunday is coming, the 4th one) so I dread going home.

We are going away for a week in August and I had to have my husband arrange it with the pet sitter, since I cannot even form the words to explain to her that she won’t be sitting for Henry anymore. (We have other cats -- all nice, but none with which I have the same type of friendship that I had with Henry.)

We got Henry’s ashes back. My husband put them in his sock drawer (he said Henry would approve, since Henry did enjoy smelling his socks, which is probably true). I looked at the box today and put Henry’s favorite “Mr. Crab” toy with it, but I have not had the ability to deal with them or even think what to do with them yet. Still, I feel (weirdly) slightly better having his ashes “home”.

I saw that you bought an urn necklace. I too have a wish to have H’s ashes near me to feel better. Maybe that is odd? I actually found a place in Australia where they mix a small amount of ashes with colored minerals under pressure, and produce a stone-like thing that you can mount in a necklace or ring.

I don't really know what to say to help you with your sadness, since I am drowning. But please know it helps me to read your posts. Thank you.

Also, I forgot to say --- I looked at your pictures and Molly looks like the nicest, sweetest cat! She was really beautiful.