Yesterday my little orange tabby cat, Kelvin, was hit by a car and killed. I am just devastated.

Kelvin was adopted from the shelter when he was 4 months old, but b/c he was so small they thought he was only 2-3 months. He must have been the runt, and only grew to 8 lbs. He was my little baby, and such a lover. He would snuggle and purr so hard when we held him. I only got to have him for 4 short wonderful years. He left behind me, my husband, and his companion cat, Timmy.

Because of the sudden and tragic accident I have been floating between denial, anger and grief all night. I feel as though my heart has been ripped from my chest. It does not feel real yet and I keep expecting to see him come around the corner and meow. I feel a large amount of guilt b/c, while I did not allow the cats to wander away outside, he made it into the alley behind our house and was struck. I should have been able to protect him.

To make matters harder, Timmy (our other cat) is grieving as well. We were able to show him Kelvin's body for a brief time, but he keeps looking for him all over the house and the yard. Every noise he hears outside he runs to the window to check if it is Kelvin. I wish it were.

I feel like such a bad cat-mommy for allowing my baby to get in a situation where he was hit by a car. And I don't know how to help my Timmy who is so lonely. Does anyone have experience with a grieving cat-companion?

I know one day the pain will ease, but I feel as though I will never be happy again.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Lovely photo! What a handsome cat!

I offer you my sincere condolences. Cats are natural explorers and you mustn't blame yourself if he got outside. It was a tragic accident and the only person who might be responsible is perhaps the driver of a car going too fast. You gave him lots of love and attention, which of course he gave to you too.

I understand about Timmy missing his friend. There isn't a lot you can do except give him lots and lots of love and attention right now and try to take his mind off trying to find Kelvin, distracting his attention when necessary.

You will be happy again! Try to remember the many happy times which you shared together. Also remember that you and Kelvin will be reunited in due course. So it's not "farewell for ever" but "see you later!"

My very best wishes to you!

Hi, MissMama, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Kelvin. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so tragically intensifies the grief.

MissMama, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time.

Unfortunately our companions can be very dexterious escape artists - - taking unfair advantage of the split second when a door or window is open and out they go before we have any time to react. If we knew ahead of time the events of how and when our companions would precede us to the angels we would then be faced with making a decision of not ever embracing them into our hearts and lives - - which would then prevent us from sharing their precious physical lives and giving them a loving Forever Home.

One of the many emotions we ALL experience in our deep grief is guilt / remorse, and it can be one of the hardest emotions to reconcile. MissMama, you did everything you could to give your beloved Kelvin a happy and healthy and safe earthly journey. I hope someday as you travel your grief adjustment journey you willl be able to find some peace in your heart that your beloved Kelvin knows that what happened was a tragic event where no one is to blame.

And while our grief journey is painful both emotionally and physically, it is intensified when we see our remaining companions grieving for the physical absence of their housemates. As long as your precious Timmy is eating properly, drinking water normally, and taking care of his personal needs, the only other thing he needs is additional love and comfort from you and your husband. If Timmy should suddenly stop eating and drinking, and taking care of his personal needs you will then need to have him checked out by his veterinary care provider, as grieving is stressful for both our companions and ourselves, and stress does take a toll on the physical body.

The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is that your beloved Kelvin's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for the love bond you and your beloved Kelvin share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Kelvin is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, MissMama - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I hope and pray the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope.

One of the many things you need to remember as you travel your grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Kelvin with us, MissMama. What a handsome little boy he is, and it is obvious from the expression on his face and in his eyes that he KNOWS he is loved. I promise you, MissMama, that nothing in heaven or on earth will ever change this.

Please know you, your husband, and your precious Timmy are in my thoughts and prayers, MissMama, and please let us know how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Aww MissMama, Kelvin is adorable. I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a good place to be for support right now, we've all got one thing in common, so if there's any place where your feelings won't be discounted, it's here. (I know some people who just don't "get" the impact the loss of a pet can have.)

I lost my cat Meatball two weeks ago, and I still have MANY moments of almost unbearable grief, although those moments have become less frequent over the two weeks. I just want to give you my condolences and hope that your hurt lessens over time as well.

To LPC, moon_beam and herculeslove,

Thank you so much for your responses. You guys are so kind taking the time to respond to my message and offer such wonderful support. I cried reading your responses, but in a good way.

Timmy is doing a little better each day. He searches for his friend less frequently, and has been eating and drinking. I am trying to keep him to his normal routine and show him extra love and attention. One day I may get him another companion cat to run and play with.

Each day has been a tiny bit easier, but still hard. Having lost my pal in such a tragic way has made acceptance difficult. I am still learning to adjust my reality in a way that understands and recognizes that Kelvin is not with me anymore in this world. I do believe that he is with me in spirit though. I am trying to remove all blame and take it one day at a time. That is the best I can do right now.

As you said herculeslove, this forum is wonderful because no one discounts your feelings of sadness and grief for the lost pet. Sometimes people who are not pet owners, or who haven't had a special bond with a pet, do not understand. Unfortunately, people tend to try and speed up the grief process. I am so sorry about your cat Meatball. I am glad to hear that your pain and grief is less frequent... but I know you will love Meatball forever.

Moon_beam, your statements were really very lovely and gave me comfort and support. Everything you said was so touching. I have had lovely dreams of Kelvin every night, and feel that while he is not with me physically, he is still with me in spirit/soul. Thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely message of support.

LPC, I am trying to think more frequently about our happy times together. It is hard to get past thoughts of the tragic accident, but I cannot remember Kelvin in that way - that it does not define him and his life. He would't want me to think of him that way... that was just a small moment during out time together.

I cannot thank you all enough for your kind words. Knowing you are all here without judgment makes this a little easier to deal with. I miss my Kelvin so much, and will write again.

Hi, MissMama, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some words of encouragement.

Clinical studies prove that when we experience a traumatic event it can become an "instant replay" in our memories that keeps replaying over and over again. This is a symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - - and what you are experiencing in "replaying" that moment in time with your beloved Kelvin's tragedy is very normal. You are doing the right thing in trying to refocus your thoughts to the more positive memories you and your beloved Kelvin share - - for this is what your beloved Kelvin wants for you.

I am so glad to share your news that your precious Timmy is doing better. In the process of comforting your precious Timmy you will also be comforted - - it's a wonderful circle of the love bond you and your precious Timmy share blessed with your beloved Kelvin's sweet Living Spirit.

Please know you, your husband, and your precious Timmy are in my thoughts and prayers, MissMama, and please let us know how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam