Hi Scarlett's Mom,

First, let me say how sorry I am that you lost your sweet dog. I've seen the photos you posted and she is just beautiful! I lost my two cats, Joe and Steve, just 11 days ago and the pain I experience daily is just raw and deep and I grieve right along side you.

My husband and I also chose not to have children and our fur-babies ARE our children. I know what you mean about some people not understanding the depth of love that can be felt for an animal. Let me just say that this is a flaw with THEM. I was on the phone the other day with a friend who is a pet lover, but who also lost her husband three years ago. She spoke to me of her sadness over losing pets in the exact same way as she spoke of her pain over losing her husband. (Her husband adored their pets, too.). To her it was like one was not different from the other and she spoke of them interchangeably. In times like this, we just learn who to avoid and who to go to for comfort. Some people just don't get it and too bad for them, really, because they will never understand how much joy can come from loving and being loved by an animal.

On a different note, I understand the guilt and regret that can come after losing a pet, but rest knowing you did everything you could for Scarlett. Best of all, you gave her a wonderful life and a loving family. She was lucky to have you!

CritzyJ

Moonbeam and CritzyJ -

It hurts my soul to know that others have had to deal with this kind of insensitivity at such a painful time. Thank you both for your insight - I still haven't spoken to my Aunt but when I do I will take your advice Moonbeam and just stay off this topic with her. I don't know how anyone could say such hurtful words but that is life, I guess. So happy I found you guys here - its been so healing reading about others stories... CritzyJ so sad to read about Joe and Steve our thoughts and prayers are with you. Moonbeam I read your posts about your Abbygale and Oslo - so very sorry for your loss as well.

My husband and I are devastated by the physical absence of our baby girl, talking to her ER Vet alleviated some of the heaviness in our hearts. We continue to keep a white candle lit for her in the house which helps some. I would never have been able to understand all our emotions had it not been for this site and this is what is helping us through this. The pain from our loss continues to be searing but every now and then we can bring ourselves to talk about Scarlett and smile and laugh at her amazing spirit. She taught us so much with her short life and continues to do so with her passing.

The tears are flowing once again as I write this post, thanks to you Moonbeam and all the other loving people on this site I know that at some point this pain will ease but for right now it just hurts so so much

This is a photo from the day we took our baby home on my birthday in 2006

Hi, Scarlett's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your husband are doing, and this wonderful picture of you and your beloved Scarlett. When we welcome a companion into our hearts and lives, the furthest thing from our minds is the inevitability that they will precede us to the angels. And this is how it should be - - for if we were endowed with the gift of foreknowledge as to the time and manner in which they would no longer be physically with us, we would then be faced with the decision of not having them in our lives at all to spare us the pain of adjusting our lives without them. But this would then deprive us of knowing and sharing their sweet precious physical lives, - - and would deprive them of knowing the true bond of love with a human caregiver. So, as painful as it is to adjust your and your husband's lives without your beloved Scarlett's sweet precious physical presence, you and your husband alone are blessed with the eternal gift of being your beloved Scarlett's Forever Mom and Dad. And I promise you that part of this blessing is the promise that one day - - at your and your husband's appropriate time - - the both of you will be reunited with your beloved Scarlett in eternal joy.

But until that day arrives, your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she has her own special place in your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Scarlett's Mom, and that you both will have a peaceful evening blessing with your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Scarlett's Mom,

I read your story about your beloved Scarlett, I'm so sorry about your loss.
I know exactly how you're feeling: I lost my yorkie-girl Sosso at the 5th of July, a few days before Scarlett's passing.
I found my girl on the streets, abandoned, at 2006.I welcomed her in my life and the last seven years were the best of my life.

Like you, I work at home, that means I spent most of the day with her by my side.When I wasn't at home without her-pretty rare- I was looking forward to return just to give her a hug & a kiss.I was sleeping with her in my arms every night and in the morning we used to have our breakfast together.We were so close..she felt insecure because of her past life on the streets, plus she had turned to be blind the last 2 years because of cataract- that made me more protective of her.She passed away from kidney disease- the last month of her life was so difficult for both of us.
I think you can imagine how lost I am-I still feel the emptiness of the house, this "sound" of silence is killing me inside.
I'm looking for signs from her ever since.Nothing yet, just feeling her presence sometimes.I don't even dream of her...

I want you to know that we're dealing with the same pain at the time.It's hard and sometimes can be even harder.
Me also, have some relatives that cannot understand the ultimate bond with animals.After her death, as well as she was alive I had to face their own opinion about babies- I'm married without children, like you- but I choose to avoid such discussions ever since.Don't allow others to tell you how to feel or what to do with your life and your decisions.You're the only one who know what is exactly right for you!

I hope one day soon, you'll find peace in your heart and relief in your sorrow.
I'm sure you did the best for Scarlett, please don't feel guilty about the past.
You love her and she knows it, she always did.
I guess she's having a wonderful time right now with Sosso..somewhere..close to us.
Just be patient and keep the good times in mind.
You're definitely not alone in this.

Love & peace

Leftbehind,

Your reply was so needed - thank you for sharing and choosing the perfect words. I am so lost without our Scarlett. I seem to feel a little better and then I am in pain once again. This loss is so unbearable as you know. I am sending you healing thoughts, hoping that you are finding some peace as well. Thinking of Sosso and Scarlett together brought a smile to my face.

Sending you and your family our wishes of love and peace.

Moonbeam,

You always write the most comforting words and they are always so perfectly timed. Scarlett is the first fur baby that I've lost, prior to her passing I had no idea the impact her loss would have on my life. Somewhere I knew in my heart of hearts that when Scarlett was no longer with us in this world it would be unbearable but the actual experience is so much harder than I could've ever imagined - even while we are still in so much pain we know our lives are greatly enriched because of her and all this pain is worth it because of the love Scarlett gave to us in return. I would always pick our baby up and lay her on my chest so our hearts would beat together... this is one of the happier images I try to cling to.

I know I not only speak for myself but the others here on Lightning-Strike when I express my appreciation for you and the time you take to write to everyone - it has been the only thing that has been helping me and my husband.


Thank you so very much.

Today has been rough... actually every day since our baby passed away has been unbearable. I've had moments where I felt I was turning a corner in my grief only to be reminded that nope I am still grieving deeply. We are talking about getting another furry baby, just talking about it for now as we don't feel well enough to invite another furry one into our hearts just yet. We are about to start talking to breeders regarding future litters. This has been the only thing that has given us something to look forward to. My life feels empty and meaningless without Scarlett. The "what if's" have crept in again - I just wish I knew when this unbearable grieving will end. I feel like I'm fumbling through this dark place trying to gain some steady ground.

Hi Scarlett's Mom,

I know how you feel. It's been a month since my kitties left me. I had a couple of tearless days over the weekend (mostly because of distractions from having company) and then today I'm sooooo sad. I found a quote this morning that I posted in my thread:

"Going through grief is like going through a tunnel. The bad news is the tunnel is dark. The good news is that once you enter into that tunnel, you are already on your way out."

The dark tunnel seems so long, doesn't it?

I'm happy to hear you're thinking about getting another fur-baby. Take your time. Best to pass a ways through the grief before having a distraction (even it it's a cute, furry distraction) to keep you from addressing your current sorrow. You'll never "get over" Scarlett, as you know. But make sure you're ready. I lost a puppy 12 years ago and it was about 3 months afterwards that we got Vanessa. I started yearning for a new puppy after about 8 weeks and then spent the next few weeks researching and searching until we found her. It was the right time. Your new baby will be so lucky to be welcomed into your family when the time is right and I believe you'll know when that time is.

Blessings to you for a good day today,

CritzyJ

CritzyJ,

Thank you for sharing that quote - "Going through grief is like going through a tunnel. The bad news is the tunnel is dark. The good news is that once you enter into that tunnel, you are already on your way out."

It is completely accurate - the tunnel seems endless - trying to embrace the knowledge that at some point we will see the light. My heart breaks for your loss as well, losing two babies in one day is just unfathomable to me.

We are talking to breeders right now but know that we are still way too deep in our grief to bring home a furry one at this time. I've gone to rescues to play with the babies there and have had friends bring over theirs so we can be around that loving energy. We will only bring one home when we feel it is right.

This is so hard to go through, as you know, we are grateful for the support we have received here, don't know how we would be able to get through this loss without people like you, moonbeam and all the others here on this site.

Hope you are having a good day today and am keeping you in my thoughts.

Hi, Scarlett's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. The quote CritzJ shared with you is really so accurate about this grief journey - - as we enter the tunnel in our very deep sorrow there is only darkness - - not even a speck of dim light showing us the way. The good news is that eventually - - in our own way and in our own time - - we finally find ourselves at a point where there IS a speck of light leading us through the tunnel back into better times. And the comfort comes in knowing we are not alone navigating the darkness - - we are among friends here who truly do know what we are feeling and going through, and how frightening the darkness can be. Here there are no time limitations, Scarlett's Mom - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I do so understand how empty your and your husband's hearts and arms are feeling. Rest assured that your beloved Scarlett is already leading your path to the moment in time when you will embrace a new companion into your heart and life. And the timing will be PERFECT, Scarlett's Mom - - there will be no doubt in your and your husband's hearts. Please know we are here for you when you are ready to celebrate a new companion.

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Scarlett's Mom, and that you both will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I just put together this video to honor our Scarlett's life... wanted to share her with all of you. Thank you for helping us deal with our loss... Here's the link: https://vimeo.com/73336102

Oh, Scarlett's Mom,

That video was amazing! It made me smile and made me sad. I loved how Scarlett played with her "friend" in the mirror and I giggled at the photos of her "humidity hair." I can relate! What a beautiful dog and what love you and your husband gave her, documented so well over the years. I love the quote, "We never wanted memories, we only wanted you." I feel the same way. In the last four weeks I have memorialized my boys in so many ways... a necklace, a Christmas ornament, engraved gardens stones. Each time I say, "Oh, this is so nice. But I never wanted a stupid necklace, a stupid rock, I just wanted my kitties." Videos are amazing, photos are amazing, but the real thing is the most amazing thing.

I'm so happy for Scarlett that she had such an amazing family. What a gift you gave her. And after seeing that video, PLEASE don't for a moment feel guilty for not doing enough. It is so clear that you loved her and cared for her in every way possible. There are some things we just can't do, can't know.

My husband and I decided not to have kids, so the fur-babies in our lives are our children. It's clear the same is true of you. There will be another sweet, furry one in your future who will bring joy to your family and Scarlett's presence will still always live in your home and in your hearts.

Thanks for sharing your video of Scarlett. It made my evening!

CritzyJ

In response to your post on my thread...

I've "heard" my kitties, too. The first two nights I heard scratching around in a litter box that was no longer there. I also thought I felt kitty feet on the bed. The other day, I could have sworn I heard claws digging at a chair in the dining room. At first, these things caught me off guard and an overwhelmed me with sadness, but I have decided now to just say "thank you." I'd rather sense their presence than not have it at all. I'll keep hoping for you that you'll see Scarlett in a dream sometime soon.

CritzyJ

Hi, Scarlett's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for honoring us in sharing with us this beautiful loving tribute to your beloved Scarlett. As CritzyJ has already commented, I too share your heartfelt sentiments: "we only wanted you." I am smiling through the tears in my eyes at all the treasured memories you have shared with us in this tribute, which only reaffirms that it is obvious you and your husband did everything in your power to give her a happy and healthy earthly journey. The true reality is that our earthly journey with our beloved companions is never long enough - - for we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, - - one more lifetime with them.

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Scarlett's Mom, and that you both will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

CritzyJ,

Thank you for watching Scarlett's video and for your kind words. It was hard to put the video together but it feels great to honor her soul and the time we had together. Honestly we find it healing and at the same time difficult to watch. Wish we could just jump inside the video to be with her again. Can't help but to feel we were all cheated out of time... precious time that we will not able to share together.

I read your other post about "the scratching at the litter box that's not there and the kitty paws on your bed" - what a blessing to have had so many experiences with your babies "presence." The transition from having Scarlett here with us physically to experiencing her presence is still a horrible shock but we are glad to have them - better than nothing, right?

Tonight I decided to go for what was me and Scarlett's usual evening walk, as you know from having a pup, when you go for the walks at the same time every day you end up seeing the same people... it was wonderful to see some of those people and their four-legged babies again.

Hope you're having a great evening and that your cold has subsided.

You WERE cheated and that's part of what's so awful about your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I had a puppy named Karen who died before she had her first birthday. We got her from the pound and didn't know she had been exposed to distemper until she was 10 months old. So, even though we had gotten all her vaccines right away, this thing was already inside her and by the time we realized what was going on, it was too late. It was a horrible shock and my husband and I were both devastated. Losing Joe and Steve has been hard on multiple levels, but the one sadness I don't have is anything about them not having full lives. So, you are justified in feeling cheated. She should have lived longer.

On a different notes, good for you for going on your old walk. I'm sure it was good to see your dog-walking friends, but it couldn't have been easy and there were probably lots of questions about Scarlett. Taking that step and also putting that video together... those are good signs for you. Looks to me like you're healing a bit inside.

Hope you have a good day today!

CritzyJ

Oh, no... you dealt with the loss of a puppy? THAT is awful. So sorry, that had to be rough. The loss of our furry one's are extremely hard and then when you add the fact that they were so young??? It just fills the mind and heart with disbelief and makes one question why they were taken at such a young age?

And yes, on my walk there were many questions, many tears shed and hugs given. Was told again how much the neighborhood misses our Scarlett and that made me cry too but they were tears shared with others that know Scarlett... was sad and comforting at the same time. I think you're right when you say I'm "healing a bit inside." Though some days it feels like we take two steps forward and then three steps back... here's to us going forward in this tunnel of grief... here's to us seeing the light.

Have a great day CrizyJ.

Moonbeam,

Oh, to have one more lifetime would be fantastic!

Thank you for watching Scarlett's tribute - we always loved introducing our baby to others - anyone who met her couldn't help but to fall in love with her. And I guess in some way the video will continue to do that - introduce our Scarlett's soul to others. Just had that realization while writing to you and it brought a smile to my face...

Hi, Scarlett's Mom, just stopping by to let you know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. Yes, you and your husband are her living legacy - - the beneficiaries of her eternal love - - and her Living Spirit will continue to shine through your sharing her earthly journey with you. Thank you so much for honoring us here in sharing your beloved Scarlett with us.

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Scarlett's Mom, and that you both will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

So, every day that passes seems to be a milestone. Our Scarlett's passing is almost approaching the two month mark and we are still in shock. We still look for her everywhere and still expect to see her even though we know its not possible. One shift that has happened for us is that we recently have started to feel her presence - ever so slightly - but we are happy for every little glimmer of her sweet soul.

We met with a breeder and stood at her home for hours with all of her cavalier's... they were of all different ages and just climbed all over me and my husband. Was an incredibly healing experience for both of us. We are not ready to bring in another furry one into our hearts just yet but we were happy with our experience... the heaviness in our hearts was lifted ever so slightly.

Signs continue to come to us. On the day we went to visit the breeder there was a cloud formation over the breeders home that strangely resembled a cavalier frolicking in the sky. I'll post a photo of that later. Today there was another... an orchid pedal fell and landed on our Scarlett's bed... I attached a photo below.

We are still reeling from our loss - just today I saw our regular mail woman - haven't seen her since Scarlett's passing. When she asked about Scarlett I broke down and just started balling my eyes out. Focusing on breathing, trying to stay present and holding our precious Scarlett's memory close to our hearts.

Today is a hard day...