Thank you so much, Danny's mom.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so smiling at your beloved Tina's "never say die" determination. It is one of the most painful experiences we will know on this side of eternity to endure the heartache of developing "new normals" because our companions are now no longer physically sharing our earthly journey. I do so understand how you feel when you share with us: "I think the older I get the more weary I get. In my 20s everything was still possible and I was much more carefree and resilient. I wonder if I'll ever be that carefree and happy again. Going through a lot of grief and pain changes people. Life just isn't the same as it was before." I truly am very sorry that you have been enduring this grief journey for both your beloved Danny and Tina, my friend.

Gretta's Mom has shared with you many thoughts that are in my heart which I would like to emphasize to you: "Danny's Mom, please never feel that you post too often or not often enough or don't say what someone else thinks you should say, etc, etc. Your grief is yours alone. We have the right to support you, to empathize with you, to try to sustain your spirit ... but no one has the right to use the word "should." Danny and Tina are still on their jobs - just like they were when you could see them. They're by your side, meowing and purring, guiding your steps, keeping harm out of your way - loving you more every day. Please be gentle with yourself and let your two new kitties comfort you in their own ways."

Life isn't the same without the blessing of the physical presence of our precious companions - - but I do hope and pray that somehow in some way you do know that your beloved Danny's and Tina's sweet Living Spirits are always and forever a part of you, and that someday in your own way and in your own time the deep sorrow that is in your heart now will eventually ease.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

I am sorry I have not been able to reply as much and be there for you as it gets closer to the one year mark and harder for you. There are no words that can make you feel better as at the end of the day the only way you would feel better was if your Tina was there with you now. However I truly believe that Tina needed to go an be with Danny so he did not feel alone (not that any animal is alone at the bridge) and she knew you would find Shelley to join Mindy on the next journey.

By chasing the squirrel she obviously wanted to prove that she was going to carry on as the Tina you knew right until the very end. She put up a good fight and unfortunately things like cancer take the best.

My thoughts are with you today.

xxForeverxx

Gretta's Mom, moon_beam, and xxForeverxx, thank you for your support, especially to Gretta's Mom. I know how hard it is to reach out to other while going through the grief journey yourself. Moon_beam, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. What you said is very much appreciated. xxForeverxx, thank you for saying that Danny needed Tina at the Bridge. That is one of the comforting things...at least they are together again.

So here I am again on the 28th, 11 months since Tina passed on. Has it really been 11 months? Sometimes it seems less, sometimes it seems like a lifetime. I was remembering Tina in her younger years and the peculiar things she did. She loved grabbing my shoelaces every time I put on sneakers and tried to tie the shoelaces. She was so playful and energetic. For about 3 years it was just me and Tina, and we were so close. Then I brought Danny home as a companion and that did not go over well with Tina. She thought that I belonged exclusively to her. She was always very possessive of me. That little kitty girl loved me to pieces. She would always try to comfort me when I was sad, frustrated or upset. She cared so much about my emotional well-being and knew I had a lot of stress in my job. Tina loved to drink water from a running faucet. She would sometimes rapidly move her front paws up and down on the glass storm door and it drove me crazy. But now I miss that sound. In the last month of her life she started hiding a lot under my bed. I feared that she might go to die there and every so often I would check on her and shine a flashlight at her to see if she was still moving. It grieved me to see her go into hiding so much, but she would come out and sit with me when I sat down on the bed. She started to look so frail and gaunt, having lost so much weight. And the steroid shots seemed to do less and less good. There was no stopping the cancer inside of her.

Thinking of you today DannysMom because it is the 28th and I know you'll be thinking of Tina (and Danny too) and missing them.
Wishing you happy Easter.

Dear DannyMom,
I was moved to tears for you & sweet Tina & Danny, they look a pair of sweeties. I am so sorry for your loss knowing all too well myself what if feels like losing my special boy Simba just 4 weeks ago. Hope you find peace in the knowledge they will be waiting for you on the other side without suffering as i hope Simba will be waiting for me.
love & hugs Gravessa

sher_mark, thank you so much for thinking of me on the 28th. It is very much appreciated. I hope you are doing okay.

gravessa, thank you for your kind words in the midst of your own grief that is so fresh. Yes, Tina and Danny were my two sweeties. I miss them so much still.

I plan on going to the pet cemetery this afternoon to place some flowers on their graves for Easter. Just a month from now will be Tina's 1 year angel-versary.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. I always enjoy sharing your pictures of your beloved little girl - - they show her personality so well.

Memories can be a two-sided coin, especially when our hearts are coping with grief. Memories help comfort us and keep those who have preceded us to the angels close in our hearts, but they can also be very painful sometimes because they are reminder of our physical separation - - and this physical separation is a very painful adjustment. Still, I hope and pray that as you remember your beloved Tina's earthly journey with you, that you will feel comforted by them.

I hope your visit to Tina's, and Danny's, resting places today will be a good one. I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you for your kind words and your support. You are so right about memories being a two-sided coin. Every time I remember something about Tina it also hurts because when I remember things about her I want Tina back with me. I put some tulips on Tina and Danny's graves yesterday so that they look nice for Easter. Other people had the same idea. Tina always "mothered" me. She worried when I went out and she calmed me down when I was sad or upset. Tina was so smart, and she always sat so patiently and quietly by her food bowl. That was her sign to me that she wanted food. I always laughed when she batted the "bad" humidifier with her paws, wanting to get at the water inside the tank. That little gurgling sound it made when it drew water just drove her crazy. She was so athletic in her younger years and often did backflips. To get my attention she would sometimes swipe a little Beanie baby off the shelf and then look at me and meow. And she hated the vet. Every time they put her back in the carrier she would strike an angry paw at the poor unfortunate hand that closed the door. Now when I take Shelley to the vet I still sometimes hold my breath and wait for that angry swipe out of habit, but Shelley is so gentle and wouldn't think of doing that. Tina had spunk and lots of it.

Danny's Mom, I just wanted to stop in and let you know I've been thinking about you since the 26th - I know our "days" are so close together, so you're inevitably on my mind when Pippin's angelversary comes around. Please know that I'm thinking of you, and that I wish there were so much more I could do to make this easier for you.

Kel, thanks for thinking of me. You are right, are days are so close together, and I think of you and Pippin when the 27th of the month comes around. Today is a difficult day for me. One year ago today was when Tina had sneezed up so much blood on the bed. I woke up around 2:30 a.m. when I heard her sneeze and snort and I asked her if she was okay. I didn't turn on the light, so I didn't see that she was sneezing up blood. I was horrified when I saw all the blood splatters in the morning and took her to the vet right away. They gave her another shot of depo-medrol and for a few days she was eating real good, but it didn't make a difference as she kept losing weight with the cancer inside of her. April 6, 2012 she was down to 7.8 pounds and on April 28 when she died she only weighed 6.8 pounds. The vet said he thought she had some kind of adenocarcinoma. Despite all that and her sneezing up blood she still wanted to go outside and it was such a nice weekend one year ago. I remember letting her outside and she rolled around on the ground and sniffed on the bushes and plants. She was so happy going outside, but she had started to hide under the bed most of the time and Mindy had taken up residence in Tina's "cat chair".

I went to the pet cemetery today to pick up the flowers and the vases. The flowers were pretty much gone, and the vases had tipped over from the high winds. I didn't stay long, because it's cold and windy out today, but it was good to visit. I sure miss my little Tina. Every time I look at her picture I miss her, and it breaks my heart to see the empty "cat chair". Tina was my "rock". She was just always there, and her calmness during storms and hurricanes helped me. It was so hard for me to see her little body waste away and her losing all that weight. She was so gaunt and frail at the end.

All those little markers (and big ones), not just the date they actually left us, still hurt so much sometimes, don't they?

*hugs* I'm so glad she had that time outside that weekend. I know how hard this is - she was your rock, and you were the love of her life.

Kelly

Kel, thanks for your kind words and for understanding how all the little and big markers can still hurt so much. Today I'm just one week away from Tina's 1-year angel-versary. I had tears in my eyes this morning when I looked at the empty cat chair and when I looked at her pictures, seeing that sweet little face with the beautiful green eyes. That sweet face is only a memory now. I can no longer hold her or see her walk downstairs. I miss her so. I loved how in her senior years she would come back to bed with me and snuggle after having a morning snack on the weekends when I slept in a bit. She was so devoted to me. I will never forget that night just a couple of days before she died. I was in bed and she laid down on my side for the longest time and just purred and purred. It's almost as if she was telling me:"I'll be going away, and I want you to know that I love you." The day I took her to the vet I had sat her carrier down on the floor to grab my coat and handbag. Mindy sat in front of the carrier and just looked at Tina, and then she put one of her paws on the carrier door, as if to say good-bye to Tina. When I saw that it broke my heart. Mindy was also grieving after Tina died. She grew very quiet and just napped a lot.

I can tell that in some ways I'm getting better and starting to enjoy life again in some small ways. Last weekend I went out and bought some flowers for planting. It gave me joy to once again plant my geraniums. Last year I didn't plant any flowers. I just didn't care. I was too depressed. This year I'm enjoying them again. But it hurts not having Tina here to observe me plant them. She was always so interested in everything that I did. It's hard for me to accept the fact that she is no longer with me. I remember how her little body still felt so warm when I carried her from the car to the preparation room of the pet cemetery, how she looked so peaceful

This has been a difficult week for me. It's as if I'm reliving the last week of Tina's life, and my heart is so heavy. Last night I cried so much, thinking of her. I held her toys in my hand and I could not stop crying. I remembered how many times I'd seen her play with these toys, her much used little crinkle ball, and the little toy elephant I had given her for our first Christmas together. Tina loved cat toys. The crinkle ball and catnip pillows were her favorites. She was so protective of her catnip pillows and would not share them with Danny. Oh, Tina was so funny. She was always good for a surprise. When I went to bed last night, my two sweet fur-covered angels laid down quietly beside me and comforted me. It's good to have Mindy and Shelley with me.

It broke my heart to see Tina go downhill so fast and to lose so much weight so quickly. To watch your beloved furry friend suffering and knowing there's not much you can do is so painful.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. As the one year angel-versary approaches it is normal for our hearts to grow heavy with grief as though it were the first moment when our beloved companion has transitioned home to the angels. And just because the calendar commemorates the one year angel-versary does not mean that our sorrow automatically and magically disappears from our hearts and lives. It simply means that we have endured through the first year of adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companion, and that hopefully, we are beginning to find "new normals" that can bring some level of comfort and joy to our daily routines.

Please let me try to offer you some words of comfort and reassurance that your beloved Tina, and Danny, are keeping a loving vigil over you, and are smiling on your new found enjoyment with your flowers. I can just hear them say, "Look, mom's planting flowers again. YEA!!! I remember when . . . " Perhaps you can hear your beloved Tina's and Danny's soft voices in your heart telling you how happy they are for you.

DannysMom, you have experienced the physical loss of your two beloved companions in a short period of time, as well as other challenges in your life through the course of this year that have added stress to your grief journeys. Your beloved Tina and Danny are happy that this season of spring is truly one of "new beginning" for you - - and they are sharing it with you just as they always have and always will.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's, and Danny's, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

moon_beam, thank you for your kind words and your support. This has been a rough week for me. I have been so depressed all week and the weather didn't help. It was cool and very cloudy the day that Tina died and it rained a bit. When I sat at the vet's office waiting to be seen I could look outside and see the dark gray clouds and the trees and bushes swaying in the wind. It was a sign to me that this would not be a good visit and that today would probably be "the" day. So now 1 year has passed, and I still miss her so. I bought a single rose bouquet that I will take to the pet cemetery this afternoon. It was over so quickly for my beloved Tina. I had a few minutes alone with her after they gave her the sedative, and I held her little body on my lap in a soft blanket. Under many tears I told her what a good cat she had been and how much I love her and that she would see Danny real soon. She didn't even move on my lap. She just laid still, and then the vet came in and gave her the shot with the pink liquid. The vet listened to her heart and then she said softly:"She's gone." I've sometimes wondered what happened to Tina after that and I've tried to imagine what went on. So, to ease my pain and to make this post a bit more uplifting here is what I think went on after Tina's heart stopped.

Tina: What is happening to me? I am floating and going upwards. Who is this walking towards me? It can't be...or could it be him? Yes, yes, it is him!!! It's Danny, and he looks so young and happy!

Danny: Hello, Tina. We've been expecting you today. The angels told me this morning that you'd be here soon. Welcome to heaven, my friend.

Tina: I'm in heaven?! Wow! Uh oh...wait a minute...that means...I'm dead!

Danny: Yes. Your soul left your body and you are in heaven now. It's so good to see you again. While waiting for you I've met a wonderful Tuxedo cat named Pippin and a wonderful cat from England named Chewy. They both love to play with me and we tell each other stories about our life on earth.

Tina (looking at her right front leg): Look, my fur has grown back on my leg! It's all healed! And I feel so young again! I can breathe, and my back doesn't hurt no more!

Danny: Yes, you are free of pain and you are young again. That's how it is here in heaven. Let me show you around and introduce you to Pippin and Chewy.

Tina: Danny, wait...what about Mom? I want to see how Mom is doing.

Danny: Well, I suppose we could take a look. Come...

Tina: Danny, there she is! There's Mom!!! Hi Mom!!!!

Danny: She can't see you or hear you, Tina.

Tina: She can't? Oh no...I want her to know that I'm okay, and that we are together. Look, Danny, there she is standing there looking so sad and looking out over the marsh. I know she misses me.

Danny: Yes, she misses you. Right now her heart is broken, but Mom will join us again one day.

Tina: Danny, Mom looks so sad...I wish she could see me. Maybe if we both concentrate real hard and think of her...maybe she could feel that we're near.

Danny: We can try. Let's both think of Mom and send her loving purrs...

Tina (excitedly): Danny! Look, Mom is looking in our direction! I think she knows we're here, right above to her right! Oh, and look...I think she is smiling...

Danny: Yes, she is...I think it worked, Tina. Mom knows we're here and that we're both okay.



And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Revelation 21:4

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your one year angel-versary with your beloved Tina. I know it is a moment of many mixed emotions, and ones that can enhance the deep sorrow that is still in your heart. I hope your vision of your beloved Tina and Danny enjoying heaven's perfect garden together is comforting to you.

I hope the weather is decent for you this afternoon when you visit your beloved Tina's, and Danny's, resting places. And I hope that you know we are always here for you to offer you comfort, support, and encouragement as you continue in your adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's, and Danny's, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear DannysMom,
Just stopping by to let you know I thought of you yesterday (28th) and said a prayer for you. Take care. I know how hard it is.

Oh, Danny's Mom, I just read your imagining of how Tina's crossing to the other side went - and I am crying my eyes out for you, for her, for Danny - and you mentioned my Pippin. I like to imagine that he greeted your Tina with very enthusiastic headbutts, and being Pippin, I bet he showed her all the best spots to find heavenly nibbles!

I have been thinking of you, my friend, and I know you're hurting. I hope that tonight, as you sleep, Tina and Danny lay their sweet spirits next to you and purr, to remind you that you are loved - even from beyond death.

sher_mark, thank you so much for thinking of me and for your prayers. I'm sure it helped as it has been so hard for me to make it through her 1 year angelversary week.

Kel, thank you so much for stopping by and for reading my post. I wish I could have known your Pippin, he sounds like a wonderful kitty boy! I was smiling as I imagined him headbutting Tina. What a sweet cat! Every time I look at your Avatar picture (Pippin) I get a lump in my throat. I just really get the sense that he was loved so much and that he was very special. Such a handsome tux boy!

Alas, the cat chair (Tina's chair) is still empty. Neither Mindy nor Shelley will lay down in it. It's as if it is "sacred ground" to them.