Oh DannysMom.
Sending good thoughts your way. I cried quite a bit this week too about Rusty. Missing him incredibly much this week. The 8th month anniversary of his death just passed. Funny how the wave of sadness just hits you and then you realize the date and know why.
How much love you have for Tina. She knows. Take good care my friend.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. I can so understand how broken hearted you are feeling, for I went through a similar experience with my beloved Oslo and Abbygayle - - who joined the angels within 4 months of each other. Losing the sweet physical presence of one beloved companion is heartbreaking - - losing two, or more, companions within a short period of time intensifies, and prolongs, the grief journey.

During our deep grief we measure our days, weeks, months by how long it has been since our beloved companions transitioned home to the angels. Eventually, hopefully, we begin to focus our thoughts on the days, weeks, months, years we shared their earthly journey and find joy, and comfort, in the many treasured memories we share with our beloved companions - - for although they are no longer physically present with us, they continue to share our earthly journey and all the memories we collect along the way.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Sher_mark, thank you for your good thoughts and for understanding. The tears still come easy when I look at her pictures or remember our times together and the things she did. Every time I go in the bathroom and look at the faucet dripping it reminds me of Tina standing on the bathtub and drinking water from the dripping faucet. That's why I try NOT to think of Tina, because the memories hurt. All the happy times we had together are gone, and it is sometimes hard for me to adjust to life without Tina. Take good care of yourself, sher_mark. Rusty knows how much you loved him too.

moon_beam, thank you for your post. I'm afraid I'm not quite "there" yet in terms of focusing my thoughts on the times I've shared with Tina. I try hard NOT to think of those times, because when I do it makes me sad and it hurts and I don't want to feel the pain. I've never been a good griever and I tend to just want to move on and not feel the pain. I'm sorry I can't just "hurry up" and "get over it". I try not to post too often here about Tina as I don't want anyone to think I post too much or make a big deal out of things. Everyone grieves differently, and I'm sorry if I don't meet the "standards". I find little comfort in the memories of the times I've shared with Tina. When I think of her and our times together it tends to overwhelm me with grief. I don't have time for the pain. I need to go to work every day and function. I guess no matter what I do somebody thinks it's "wrong" somehow.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I don't think anyone is really "good" at grieving, for everyone has their own individual way of coping with the deep sorrow. I hope you know there are no judgments made here - - no one can tell you when the deep sorrow in your heart will ease, for only YOU can travel your grief journey. All we can do here is to try to offer you support, encouragement, comfort, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey in your own way and in your own time. Sharing our common experiences together helps us to know we are not alone. So please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I've had a rough weekend. Was feeling so stressed and sad. Sunday I was able to let the grief out and to cry. It always does hurt so much to cry and to feel the pain, but afterwards I do feel a bit better although exhausted. It's so hard to believe sometimes that Tina has been gone over 9 months now. When I see her empty "cat chair" it makes me sad. I left it as it was, with the cushion on the chair and the toys that I used to put there beside her so she could grab a toy to nap with. I miss my sweet, headstrong, determined Tina. We spent over 14 years together and the bond we had was so strong. She was always there to comfort me, always so in tune with my moods and so concerned about me. She was my beloved friend. It hurts so much that she isn't with me. Life is not the same without her. I often find myself wishing she was here, giving me strength and helping me cope. I adored her feisty personality and she made me smile. Tina would always sit patiently by her food bowl, knowing that I would feed her in just a minute. She loved pawing away at the humidifier's water tank, and she made me laugh. She was fascinated by it and now Mindy does the same thing and that makes me smile. Tina was so unique.


Next to the "cat chair" this was her second favorite place, sitting with me.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your cherished memories of your beloved Tina. I know when our hearts are aching for our beloved companions that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is a part of the grief adjustment journey. Still I hope you know you are surrounded by people in this forum who truly do understand what you are going through - - even though our attempts to offer you comfort, encouragement, and support may fall miserably short.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

I am so sorry about how you are feeling although of course it is understandable. I do think the first year of course is always the worst and as it is getting closer to her angelversary it will get harder again. Never feel that you post too much on here though. You are someone that cared so much for your babies. Two amazing babies and this is what this site is for. Sometimes when we are that sad this is the best place to come to to get some things off our chest. Also I no longer feel bad about crying as I really do think it helps. Cry as much as you like as it shows how much of an impact they had on your life and is another way to get things of your chest.

That really is a lovely photo and like many photos tells a story. A story about a cat who was loved by her owner but also a cat that made her owner feel like she was loved too.

I hope you are feeling ok today DannysMom

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you for your support. I've had a few crying spells this week. The pain does want to come out. Last night I cried when I thought of Tina's last day with me. I wished that I had not taken her to the vet right away and instead spent some time talking with her and just being with her, but she was having trouble breathing and I couldn't let her suffer. It all happened so quickly. After I took her to the vet they put her in the back and put her on oxygen right away. It was painful sitting there by myself and Tina being away from me and I could feel this was all the time we had left and that I needed to say good-bye that day. That morning we had both slept in since it was a Saturday. Tina was snuggled against me as we napped together. We just had so little time left together. After I talked with the vet they sedated her in preparation. And when they brought her in to me I only had a few minutes with her and I just poured out my heart to her, telling her how much I love her and how good she's always been to me. I held her on my lap and cried so much. I wished I had more time, and time was running out. Before I knew it the vet said softly:"She's gone" and that was that. I felt peace knowing that Tina was no longer in pain, but my heart hurt from being separated from Tina. I miss her so much. Tina meant so much to me. She didn't let her old age slow her down and I admired her for that. She could still act crazy like a little kitten and would fiercely attack her beloved feather wand toy.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. You have been through a great deal this past year and it is normal sometimes for us to experience what clinical professionals term "delayed grief". Sometimes when we are overwhelmed by many different things, we find ourselves unable to find any kind of comfort from our grief until circumstances in our life begin to "normalize" in whatever way that is needed. Please know you are not alone in your grief journey, DannysMom. Although words can feel empty when our hearts are sorrowful, I hope somehow you will be able to find some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in the words I share with you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Danny's Mom, I know that it's getting close to Tina and Danny's angelversary. I want you to know that I'm thinking about you, and that I hope Mindy and Shelley are able to comfort you.

I know that you wish you'd spent more time wit Tina before taking her to the vet, but I also know she appreciates your selflessness in sparing her the discomfort of breathing difficulty. You gave her a loving gift, at your own expense. That's what we do for our "children."

I know you must miss Danny and Tina so much. My heart hurts for you, and I so wish they were both still there with you in the flesh.

Lancelot sends his chomps & snuggles,
Kel

DannysMom,
Read your post on Feb 23 but only replying now- letting you know you are in my thoughts. Take care.

moon_beam, I think "delayed grief" might be the right word here. I've tried so hard to keep it together instead of just letting my grief out. Last week was a rough one and I was so exhausted by week's end. I found myself crying many times last week. What brought on the most pain was watching a movie on Sunday where at the end a Christmas carol played, and that was just too much to bear. I burst out in tears and thought of my sweet Danny. I talked to Shelley about Tina last night and told her how Tina got stuck in a tree once. Shelley added a surprised 'Ack' at the right moment and listened intently. It made me feel better to tell her about Tina while she was cuddled in my arms.

Kel, thank you so much for thinking of me. I hope all is well with your fur tribe.

sher_mark, thank you very much for thinking of me. It is appreciated and comforting.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I wish there was an easier way to navigate the grief adjustment journey, but unfortunately I do not know of one. The good news is that you have your precious Shelley and Mindy to comfort you when you need it the most without any delay in responding. But even though none of us can be with you physically to hold your hand, I hope you know that our thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to navigate your grief adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Here we are on the 28th again. Sigh. I kept busy at work all day, but in the afternoon I felt it hit me. 10 months since Tina died, and I still miss her so. We had this ritual in the evening where she would jump on my lap and I would massage the hollow spot in the back of her neck while she nudged my wrist with her cold, wet nose. It's just all these little things that were unique to Tina. We had such a strong bond. She understood me and I understood her. Every time I look at the faucet of the bathroom tub I'm reminded how Tina used to love drinking from there. She had spunk and what I call "cali-tude", but I loved that about her. She was not a mean cat. She enjoyed meeting people when I had guests and was always curious about visitors. And she liked small children. She was just a bit stubborn about some things and wanted to have them her own way. I remember how she used to attack me ankles from under the bed at night when I sat down on the bed to turn in. She would quickly hide under the bed and then bite my ankles. She did that when she was a little kitten, but grew out of it. I never got tired of looking at her beautiful calico coat, all the different patterns and markings. I guess she was what some would consider a "tabico" as she had tabby stripes in her black and orange fur patches, and a brown tabby stripe on half of her left leg.

My sweet Tina, I miss you so. I hope you and Danny are happily playing together. See you again one of these days, and then we will never, ever part again.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes, the "date" when our beloved companions precede us to the angels are indelibly imprinted into our hearts, for our lives are changed forever. Even through the years when the "date" may not always be forefront in our minds, nothing in heaven or on earth can ever diminish our treasured memories.

As the one year angel-versary draws closer, it is very normal for us to feel a "renewed" deep sorrow, but even though it is normal it in no way diminishes the intensity of our missing the sweet physical presence of our beloved companions. It is important for you to know we are here for you, DannysMom, to share the better days, the not so bad days, and the days when your heart feels like it is breaking under the unbearable burden of your sorrow.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today, one year ago, on March 5, 2012 I received the devastating news. Tina had cancer. About 2 months to live at the most. I tried to be brave and said that it was okay, that she had a long life, but when I drove home with her in the backseat of my car I broke down crying and could not stop. Tina must have sensed something was wrong. She was so quiet in the backseat. Why Tina? Why now, only a few months after Danny had passed? I thought it was so horribly unfair that I should have to say good-bye to Tina as well. And she didn't even have 2 months, it was slightly less than 2 months, even with the medications they gave her. I think she hang on just for me. At first she responded so well to the meds and ate good and she acted fine. I thought maybe the diagnosis was wrong, maybe she'll be around after all. She seemed fine in the middle of March. But she was steadily losing weight. I made sure I told her every day at least a dozen times how much I love her. Her presence was such a comfort to me after Danny had passed, and now she was battling cancer. She was so brave, my little Tina, still wanted to play and act like a little kitten, still enjoyed laying outside in the sun, still came downstairs to greet me. I guess nobody can really understand how much this little cat meant to me, how much she still means to me, how special she was, how smart and brave and loving. She was all those things and more. I will never forget how tiny she was when I first met her, just 3 months old and sooo cute! She had the cutest little face, and big ears, and she purred when I held her close, and I felt so comforted to hold this little kitten in my arms. Tina loved me with her whole heart, and I loved her and love her still.

One year ago today, March 18, was a nice sunny day, and I took Tina outside to get some fresh air for a few minutes. Before I could stop her she took off after a squirrel and chased it underneath a car. She just took off in a flash. I had no idea she could still do that, but apparently seeing the squirrel energized her and activated her hunting instinct. I had to coax her out from under the car and when I took her back inside she protested vehemently and once back inside she took out her anger on Mindy by giving her a "beating". Seeing Tina chase after that squirrel gave me hope that she might not be as sick as the doctors thought she was. She still had that spunk and that zest for life. I think of that when I get depressed over things and that they aren't as they should be or as I want them to be.

I think Tina's motto for life could very well have been "[Ignore] the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" She was like that. She did not let things slow her down. Tina was still Tina, to the very last. I think the older I get the more weary I get. In my 20s everything was still possible and I was much more carefree and resilient. I wonder if I'll ever be that carefree and happy again. Going through a lot of grief and pain changes people. Life just isn't the same as it was before. I see the trees and bushes starting to bloom and all I want to do is cry, cry because Spring is coming and my Tina isn't here to see it. This is my first Spring without her, and boy do I miss her!

Hello Danny's Mom

My heart is sad and my eyes are leaking on this most difficult day for you. Fourteen years. I can hardly imagine it. And I can hardly imagine the depth of sorrow and emptiness of the passing of a love and a soul-mate after fourteen years together. Your pictures of Tina are exquisite. As you say, the photo of Tina on the chair really does look like a loving gradnmother. And her eyes - her eyes look like they contain the wisdom of the ages. I cried when I saw the picture of Tina on your lab. The love just SHONE out of the picture. You two were one being - no wonder the pain is so great.

Danny's Mom, please never feel that you post too often or not often enough or don't say what someone else thinks you should say, etc, etc. Your grief is yours alone. We have the right to support you, to empathize with you, to try to sustain your spirit ... but no one has the right to use the word "should."

Danny and Tina are still on their jobs - just like they were when you could see them. They're by your side, meowing and purring, guiding your steps, keeping harm out of your way - loving you more every day.

I lost my beautiful Rufus, a half black lab, half newfie just last Thursday and from half a continent away. Every one of who has been chosen by a spirit animal like Danny and Tina (and my Rufus) whill eventually "choose tears" as one pinned post says here. But which of us would give up the love given and received? Not a chance.

Please be gentle with yourself and let your two new kitties comfort you in their own ways. I does hurt. The price of love.

Regards,

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Gretta's Mom, thanks for stopping by. I am sorry to hear about Rufus, especially that you couldn't be with him at his time of death. Take good care of yourself and I hope things will get better for you.