Hi sher_mark

Please accept my condolences, I know no words can take away your pain, and I'm a terrible writer, but be sure my heart is with you and Rusty.

Yours is a great story, he sure was Heaven sent specially to you, and that creates such a special bond, that makes almost unbelievable the fact that our babies are no longer with us, at least not physically, after my Tino left, I keep hearing him, I sometimes wonder if he was checking up on me... Who knows???

Thanks for posting Rusty's picture, he sure was a gorgeous fella, both of you will be in my thoughts tonight,

Dear Valentino my boy,
Thanks so much for your kind words. Thanks especially for reminding me that Rusty was sent to me. Hard to remember in my sadness that there was a blessing there. You are in my thoughts too in your grief about Tino. Take care.

Not a day goes by....
Miss you so much Rusty and long to have one of your hugs. Miss you so very much my friend, so much- love you always.

3 months today since Rusty died. It is hard to believe time is passing without him here, at least physically. I miss him so very much--I wouldn't have known I had so many tears to shed.

I love you Rus, and I always will.

Hi, sher_mark, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can so understand how you're feeling when you share with us "It is hard to believe time is passing without him here, at least physically." During the deep grief one day flows into the next while our hearts are consumed with sorrow - - and the days hold very little meaning. It is only as the days become weeks and then months and we look back to reflect on how the time has passed that we find ourselves wondering how we have continued to survive through the deepest sorrow our hearts will know.

As challenging as the grief journey is, we endure through it as a tribute to our beloved companion, as for you to your beloved Rusty. You are now Rusty's earthly ambassador - - a witness to his earthly journey who has honored us by sharing his physical life with you.

Thank you for sharing your and your beloved Rusty's 3-month angel-versary, sher_mark. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that your evening will be blessed with your beloved Rusty's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, sher_mark, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

sher_mark, the first 3 months are really hard. In a couple days it will be 4 months for me since Tina passed on, and I still miss her so. It gets especially bad when I hear sad melodies. That only reminds me of how much I miss Tina, and also my sweet Danny boy. Your Rusty had such a pretty little face. It looks like he was a long-haired cat, very beautiful. It is amazing how much these little angels with fur mean to us, and how much love they give us. I wanted to tell you that was a very sweet thing to do, to tuck that picture in Rusty's paws. I didn't respond back then, because it made me cry, and sometimes it is so hard for me to find the right words to say to someone else who has lost a beloved fur child. It seems like the pain just won't go away, and the sadness lingers. You had Rusty for 13 years, and there are so many memories in those years, so many special moments. Have you thought about perhaps starting a journal? It might help you feel a little better.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Dear DannysMom,
Thank you for your kind words. I read them the day you posted and your words brought me comfort. I cry a lot still so I'm replying while at work so I can half keep it together. I have written out the story of Rusty's life with me for a keepsake and to record the "little things" that time etches out of memory. When I read it, I'll remember and so look forward t the day I only smile. I miss him so very much. Thinking of you in your grief too. Take good care.

Dear moon_beam,
As always you are a source of wisdom and comfort. Thank you for your kindness. I read your post on the anniversary day but put some distance between reading and replying. It is very hard. I really miss my dear friend Rusty. Siegel my other kitty has adjusted to being the only cat again after 13 years. She's thin but I coax her to eat and I think she fusses because she likes me feeding her with a spoon! I dread the day her illness takes her too. First day of school for my little son and I remember so vividly last year. Rusty was doing okay and all seemed well. Now, a big hole in our family. Thanks again Moon_Beam.

sher_mark, that is a wonderful thing to do, to write out the story of Rusty's life. This is something that you will always treasure and can go back to and re-read and remember the happy times with him. Rusty will always be in your heart.

A sad weekend. I don't know how I am surviving. My cat Siegel has stopped eating. Her blood tests for Chronic Renal Failure just 3 months ago put her in the high normal range and we were to watch her. Last week I took her for a 3 month check and all seemed well but she had lost a bit of weight. Got a new cat (Camileon) this week to add some thoughts of life into the house rather than death (Rusty's) and illness (Siegel's). I thought in time Siegel would form some history with another cat.

Siegel started to eat even less. I have been introducing the new kitty slowly but now keeping her completely separate without Siegel being able to see her in case it is stress. This week Siegel lost even more weight so I took her to the vet yesterday. They force fed her, gave her even more appetite stimulants and and sub Q injection of fluids. Nothing is working anymore. I can't coax her with any tasty food. I can't get Siegel to eat more than a spoon a day and last night and today vomiting and diarrhea. She's so thin. Just skin and bone--like Rusty was getting before he died. I don't understand. Her levels are such that this shouldn't be happening. She might feel ill and with her personality, if she doesn't feel like eating, she won't no matter what. I'm so sad. I feel like she is going to die soon and this will be both of my beloved kitties just a few months apart. I'm trying everything and I'm panicked. I love Siegel so very much. So very very much.

In a couple of hours it will be November 26 and 6 months since Rusty died. Tonight I'm remembering the last night he and I had together and the tears still come so easily. I can't believe it was 6 months ago. Time should be standing still without him.

I miss you Rusty. I love you Rus and I always will. Always.

Hi, sher_mark, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Rusty's 6 month angel-versary with us. I do so understand how you're feeling when you share with us: "Time should be standing still without him." One of the many difficult adjustments we are faced having to make is that life does trudge forward - - bills get paid, jobs get done, errands are run - - but NOTHING is the same - - the purpose for our very existence is missing - - NOTHING makes sense. And as the holidays approach that are supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are aching from grief and sorrow. It seems incredibly cruel that the world in which we exist should be laughing and smiling when our hearts are suffering deep sorrow.

I am wondering how your precious Siegel is doing. I'm so sorry I missed your earlier post about her being so frail and ill. I hope she is doing better, sher_mark. I'm also wondering how your new companion Camileon is doing, and hope she and Siegel are good friends by now. Once again I am so sorry that I missed your post in September.

Sher_mark, I truly wish there were some miraculous words I could share with you that would make all this sorrow disappear for you. Unfortunately, I know from first hand experience there simply aren't any adequate words in any language that can do this. I do feel your deep sorrow, though, and want you to know that I am with you reaching out across the cyber miles and offering you my sincerest friendship to try to bring some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, sher_mark, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear moon_beam,
Thank you for replying to my post. I am missing Rusty so much.

My dear Siegel is holding on. I got her to eat and now she eats daily. She still is losing weight- very thin- but has energy and for this I'm very grateful. Siegel and Camileon do not get along so it seems and I have them separated. Camileon chases and I'm so scared of a bite that Siegel can't sustain in her state. I have my house separated by a cardboard border on the stairs. I think I have to get a animal behavior specialist to come in to help me. I really feel like I have an upstairs life and a downstairs life. When we are downstairs and I hear Siegel meow from upstairs, I feel just awful. I want to spend my time with her because it is so precious but the house is divided. I often wonder what I've done. Though, it was giving Siegel a taste of the food Camileon came to us eating that started Siegel eating! We are all managing but this is an added stress on top of the sadness over losing Rus and Siegel being unwell. I count my blessings though--I have great love and I've known great love (of the fur variety). It truly hurts but as they say --it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I'd go though this sadness again for all the wonderful moments I've had with Rus and still have with Siegel and now with Cami too. Take care moon_beam and thanks again for looking at my post.

Hi sher mark

I have not posted on here for a while. Thank you for sharing Rusty's angelversary. These are hard, I know, especially around the holidays. And most especially the "firsts" without their physical presence.

I'm also sorry to hear about Siegel's condition. We are praying for her. I know it must be difficult keeping her and Camileon separated. Have they always not gotten along? Perhaps a behavior specialist can help as you said. Can your vet recommend someone? I do hope it works out. Me Theresa, and Tang will keep you all in our thoughts and prayers. Take care.

TTT

Hi, sher_mark, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the good news that your precious Siegel is doing better - - the fact that she is eating is a HUGE improvement, although she continues to lose weight. This may just be a temporary situation with her illness, for her body is using all the nourishment right now to sustain vital organs. Once her body has stabilized she may begin to put some weight on again, so just keep doing what you're doing, sher_mark.

I can certainly understand your concern about your precious Camileon rough playing with Siegel. Your precious Siegel does not need any additional stress on her body right now - - even when it is extended in normal kitty play of chase and tumble. Of course having to separate your precious companions from each other and having a "house divided" to do that is extra stress on you. I hope you will be able to find a good behaviorist who will be able to offer you helpful suggestions and recommendations. Please let us know how things go.

I know it is hard to take one day at a time when you feel you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Sometimes it can feel like it is more than you can manage - - particularly when your heart is aching with deep sorrow with the physical loss of your beloved Russ. Just know that we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your journey, sher_mark. We may not be able to take the weight of the world off your shoulders - - but we'll try to help you carry it.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Siegel and Camileon kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Rusty's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, sher_mark, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your precious Siegal and Camileon are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear sher_mark, just letting you know that I am thinking of you and that you are not alone in this. My Tina has been gone 7 months, and I too cry easily when I think of her or talk about her. The same with Danny. Rusty was so special and you shared a strong bond with him. It hurts to be separated from our fur kids. We just want to hold them again, touch them one more time, see their sweet little faces and hear their meows. It will get better as more time passes.

I am sorry that Siegel is so sick and that you have to divide your house. I remember when my Tina was towards the end of her life Mindy would chase her around quite often and sit in her cat chair. It's as if Cami is trying to assert herself and wanting to be the top cat in the house. I don't think there is much you can do, and it was a good idea to separate them as Siegel needs rest.

Dear Sher_mark
Having just read your story, I have to just say how touched I am. Rusty sounds like he was one wonderful cat. How lucky both of you were to find each other.
And best if luck with Siegel. You sound like such a conscientious and kind parent to your fur children.
I wish you love and strength through this holiday season!
Mark (and Bicky)

Dear Tom's Dad,
Thank you for your kind words and your prayers. That means so much.
I'm going to try the behavior specialist. In home consultation next week I hope. It is my prayer for Christmas, for peace between Siegel and Cami so we can live without the division.
Wishing you a blessed Christmas.

Dear marklovesbicky,
Thank you for your comments about my story. Rusty was truly a blessing in fur. Your kindness and good thoughts mean a lot. Wishing you a blessed Christmas.

Hi sher_mark, I was just thinking of you and I hope you had a good Christmas (as well as can be expected under the circumstances) and that Siegel and Cami are doing okay.