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#21
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
Hi Sad parent, I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Snugs - he was a beautiful boy. I am so in awe of the fact that you had him 24 years - that is so amazing and what a gift. I lost my beloved Oliver last December to congestive heart failure - he died in my arms on the way to emergency vet. He was only 13, and I thought for sure he would live into his 20's. He was my soul mate kitty, the love of my life - it was the most heart wrenching pain and grief and I never thought I would see the light of day again - I know exactly how you feel. The feelings you have are exactly like the ones I had - and there is no time limit on grieving - it's an individual process. And you will always miss Snugs, although the pain does become less severe over time - it does get better. And that dosen't mean you don't love him and miss him just as much as you do now - it becomes a part of who you are, and there is strength to be found in those dark moments. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will take away your pain - please know that you are not alone - I SO feel for you and completely understand. And you don't have to put a time limit on yourself or think "I should be over this by now"...there is NO time limit. And you will never get over losing Snugs - your pain will just shift in it's severity over time. But take all the time you need - from now until forever if you want. I just joined this site because I lost another one of my kitties - Henry - on August 20th - and I mean I literally lost him - I was moving out of my apartment and he was scared and jumped out of my arms and ran - I have been desperately searching for him since and it has been beyond gut-wrenching - not knowing what has happened, if he's hurt, scared, hungry, you name it. I feel like I've abandoned him and have literally had a breakdown. So the pain is very present in my life again, although it's almost worse than when I lost Oliver because I don't have any closure. Henry was only 8, and he was so precious and sweet - it has literally almost killed me. I don't have children either and my kitties are my babies - they are my children and the fact that I cannot protect Henry and be with him - it is guilt and grief beyond meaure. I talked to an animal communicator who told me he has passed on - that he ate something toxic and it killed him - and I know it's not 100% proven, but I feel she is a valid source. I am still looking, of course, but part of me feels he is gone and knowing I might never see him again or never really know is almost more than I can bear. Sorry to go off on my own tangent - I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain SO MUCH and you are NOT ALONE. You are so lucky that you had your precious baby for so long and were with him at the end - it doesn't lessen the pain, I know that - but what a gift. Over time you will realize that - I realized that with my precious Oliver - even though I thought I was going to die from heartbreak and never see the light of day again, I slowly realized what a gift it was that he was in my arms when he passed - as painful as it was, I know it was a gift and I have learned to be grateful that I was with him - I hear so many sad stories, and now have my own with Henry - so I hope you know that you being with Snugs to the end is a gift - it's a hard reality of life - none of us will live forever - and it's always painful to be the one who is left behind - but know you will be reunited with your baby one day. My heaven is not a heaven without my kitties - so I know we will be reunited. And I hope you know that you made the right decision about him - he was going and knew it was his time - animals have an interesting way of letting us know that they are ready, that they are tired, etc. Your precious Snugs knew how much you loved him and knows you did the right thing for him - you freed him from his pain and failing body - his spirit and soul are always there, but you allowed him to be released from the physical pain and he's now light and alive again, in spirit - and he is with you, without a doubt. Do you talk to him? I did that with Oliver and still do, and have done it with Henry too - they are there, they hear you, and they know how much you love them and miss them. Bless you in this trying time - I am so, so sorry for your loss, but know that there is nothing lost where there is love - you will always have your connection with him and he was SO blessed to have you as his mama - what a wonderful life you gave him. It will become more apparent to you over time - all of the good and the blessings - but for now, let your pain out, continue to reach out for support, cry as much you want (you should never keep that in) and know you are NOT alone AT ALL. You are in my thoughts and prayers - and so is your Snug - hopefully he has met my Oliver on the other side - and they have become fast friends and are bragging to each other about how great their mamas were and are ![]() Take care and hope to hear from you more - take your time, be gentle with yourself and share your pain - we are all here for you. xoxo - Gsnap75 Thank you so much for your support. I can only imagine your terrible pain at not knowing where Henry is and what happened to him. I was lucky to be able to be with Snugs at the end. I have not been able to talk to Snugs. It hurts too much. I have written about him. If does help to know I am not alone. Snugs helped me through some very difficult times in my life. It was wonderful to have him for so many years, but I also learned to count on him. I am trying to remember how I coped before he came I to my life, but that was so long ago. Nothing feels right without him. |
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#22
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
You have been gone 3 weeks now. I miss you constantly. It seems that you were here only yesterday. And it seems that it was ages ago that I was able to hold you and feel your soft fur against me. I miss your bright loving eyes and the gently way you would rub against me. My world is so empty without you .
When I wake up and the sun shines, I can only see the dark cloud that now follows me. When the weather is cloudy, I miss the way you liked to cuddle up and sleep away the cloudy, rainy days. Birds may sing, but all I hear is the silence of your absence. No more little feet walking about. No more gentle purrs . Flowers may bloom, but I can only see that you are not with me. I miss the way you would greet me when I came home. You had such a warm loving good night caress. You enjoyed every moment, and I loved watching you play, sit in the sun, and explore. You were so gentle, so beautiful, so intelligent. You helped me get through so many difficult times in my life. You were a great friend. You were brave as you aged, never complaining. You made the most of your limitations and accepted your medication routine. I can never live up to the example you set. While you approached every day with enthusiasm, I approach my days with a heavy sadness as the pain of missing you surrounds me. |
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#23
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![]() Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 ![]() |
Hi, sad parent, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your heart-filled love letter to your beloved Snugs.
The pain of this grief journey can seem like it will never ease. Truly your world will never be the same without your beloved Snugs' sweet physical presence with you. It is a long and painful journey adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Snugs. It is incomprehensible that "life" goes on in the midst of having your world torn apart because your beloved Snugs is no longer physically sharing it with you. Hopefully as your deep grief eases you will come to know that your life continues to be enriched and blessed with your beloved Snugs' sweet Living Spirit. Hopefully you will come to know that the love bond you and your beloved Snugs share is eternal - - that NOTHING can ever change this - - not even physical separation. You are your beloved Snugs' heir to his eternal love - - to the many cherished memories he shares with you during his earthly journey - - and continues to share with you as you proceed with your earthly journey with his sweet Living Spirit always a heartbeat close to you. But for now it is important that you only take one day at a time - - one moment at a time - - and allow yourself to grieve. This grief journey cannot be reconciled in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - but I promise you one day you will once again feel the warmth of the sun in your heart, and your beloved Snugs will be right there with you sharing it. One day you will hear the birds singing and your beloved Snugs will be right there enjoying their songs with you. One day you will find a renewed strength to your daily routines and your beloved Snugs will be right there sharing every moment with you. Until this time comes for you, sad parent, please let me reassure you that you do not travel this journey alone. Each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you with every step of your journey. I hope today is treating you kindly, sad parent, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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#24
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 39 Joined: 12-August 12 Member No.: 7,727 ![]() |
I agree. It's so hard to know what to feel, when to feel, what's right, what isn't...Give yourself the time to grieve. Understand that everyone grieves differently and that the process is unique to every situation. I am so very sorry for your loss and am keeping you in my thoughts!
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#25
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
Thanks for the support. I am still trying to figure out how to go on. Sometimes I rush home, almost thinking I will see him, and then I remember that he is not there. I am starting to sleep better. I am not sure yet what will help with the emptiness and pain.
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#26
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 12 Joined: 4-September 12 From: Austin, TX Member No.: 7,752 ![]() |
Thanks for the support. I am still trying to figure out how to go on. Sometimes I rush home, almost thinking I will see him, and then I remember that he is not there. I am starting to sleep better. I am not sure yet what will help with the emptiness and pain. I'm glad you are sleeping better - that is a good sign. And don't try to figure out how to go on - you won't know how that looks ahead of time - it's something that will naturally happen. You had Snugs for a LONG time...your whole life has been flipped upside-down. You WILL feel better and survive, but right now you are trying to figure out how to even see color again...give yourself time and don't fight it. The way you feel is completely normal and healthy. Your emptiness and pain need to run their course - things will start to make sense or you will come to find peace at some point - trust me. I found it with my Oliver (who I literally thought I would need to be committed over when he died) - and I am nowhere near peace about Henry - everyday is another day that I didn't find him, that I let him down, that I am tortured with the "what ifs" and "whys" and "what happened??" It's brutal - but because I got through grief before, I know I will again - and so will you. We are all here for you. Always. You are not alone. xoxo - Ginger |
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#27
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 24 Joined: 8-October 12 Member No.: 7,786 ![]() |
I understand completely. I have lost two kitties in one year. Molly was old and sick and I knew it was coming, but it still hurts. Kyle was young and healthy and we think maybe he got hit by a car. I miss holding my sweet and furry babies in my arms. It is hard to think about getting a new cat because of the fear of more loss. Maybe in time you will be ready to get another baby.
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#28
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
Thanks so much for all of the support. It means a lot to me. It is encouraging to hear that others have been through this pain and managed to eventually get some relief. Snugs has been with me for many years. It is hard to remember my life before him.
I feel terrible when other people suggest it is time to go on with my life. I wish it were that easy. I am amazed that I am functioning as well as I am. I am so torn up inside. Some days I am not sure I want to go on. The world is so empty without Snugs. Yet he never gave up. Even when he had a bad day with his arthritis, he pulled himself up and tried to make the most of his day. He was braver than I am. Maybe one day I can follow his example. Right now, I just miss him so much. |
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#29
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![]() Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 ![]() |
Hi, Sad parent, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes - - one of the most excruciatingly painful things we are forced to do during our grief adjustment journey is figuring out who we are now - - and where do we go from here - - and HOW do we go on from here. This grief journey is not one of "moving on" but one of ADJUSTMENT TO the physical absence of our beloved companions. When they precede us to the angels we are faced with having to establish "new normals" in our daily routines that no longer includes their sweet precious physical presence - - tending to their needs and enjoying their company. This is an adjustment that does not come easily and cannot be rushed. It is an adjustment that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. You continue on with your earthly journey as Snugs' heir to his eternal love for you. You now are a witness to his earthly journey with you, and you alone are honored to be his Forever Parent.
When we are in deep grief we "function" on what I call "automatic pilot" - - it is our mind's and body's way of protecting us from the full brunt trauma that we experience when our companions precede us to the angels. As time progresses in your grief journey you will experience different levels of grief -- it's all a part of this emotional roller coaster ride that can be unpredictable. I hope today is treating you kindly, Sad parent, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Snugs' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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#30
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
I received a paw print in the mail today from his vet clinic. I didn't know they took his paw print. I am glad they did. But it was a surprise. I was overwhelmed when I saw what it was. I put it down and have not been able to look at it again. It hurts to see his paw print and not be able to touch his paw.
I have not been able to do much with his bedding. I took it off my bed. It hurt too much to have it on my bed. I would wake up reaching for him. I took good care of him, but sometimes I am guilty that I didn't spend more time with him. When I was busy, I took him for granted, assuming he would always be around. I am very grateful for all of the support I have received. Thank you for your responses. |
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#31
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
It is a raining today. Snugs liked to snuggle up on a day like this. I miss him so much. Without him, nothing feels right, My life still feels so empty without him.
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#32
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
Missing Snugs. After so many years together, he became a major part of my life. He was the perfect cat. I don't know if I will eventually work out new patterns in my life and figure out how to go on without my Snugs. I hope so.
I still can so easily become overwhelmed with guilt and sadness. I went with a friend to a vet in my area that specializes in cats. She seemed so knowledgeable. I then start to think I should have taken Snugs to her. Maybe she would have prevented problems or had a treatment plan that was superior. I kick myself for not doing that. I think back on a year ago. I had Snugs then. I didn't realize how lucky I was. He died Sept. 21, 2012. I have been sick this past week. Probably too many nights of not sleeping and too many days lived in my darkness. |
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#33
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 115 Joined: 23-August 12 Member No.: 7,738 ![]() |
I know how you feel, Sad parent. It's been about 3 1/2 months since we lost our bulldog, Jake, and I just can't get past it. In fact, I don't want to "get over it". I will always love and miss Jake, as you will your beloved Snugs. In time, though, I think that I will be more comfortable with thoughts and memories of him, and hope to eventually lose the pall of sadness and depression which hangs over me now. Jake would like that for me, and Snugs would want it for you, too. Peace and best wishes to you.
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#34
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![]() Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 ![]() |
Hi, Sad parent, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. This grief journey can feel like an endless dark tunnel filled with uncertainty of the future and longing for the better days - - the days when you enjoyed the physical presence of your beloved Snugs. The emptiness in our hearts and lives during the deep grief can be quite paralyzing. The stress of grieving also suppresses our immune system in addition to making us more emotionally vulnerable - - which is why is it very important to get plenty of rest. It takes a lot of strength to endure the toll that the stress of grieving takes on us both physically and emotionally.
I promise you, Sad parent, that one day when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Snugs and you will find yourself smiling again - - truly smiling - - and the burden of sorrow on your heart will not be quite so heavy. But it will just take time for you to come to this point in your adjustment journey - - and we are here for you through every step of your journey - - you are not alone in this dark tunnel of sorrow and grief. I hope today is treating you kindly, Sad parent, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Snugs' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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#35
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
Thanks so much for the support and kind wishes. It means a lot to me. I am still sick. I am usually very healthy, but my physical illness seems to reflect my emotional distress. I sure miss the comfort and healing presence of my Snugs.
I hope to feel better physically and emotionally. |
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#36
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 31 Joined: 22-September 12 From: California Member No.: 7,765 ![]() |
I am still sick. This is unusual for me. I almost never get sick. Grieving can sure lower resistance.
Everything seems to remind me of Snugs. I was very lucky to have such a wonderful boy. I miss him so much. |
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#37
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 71 Joined: 29-October 12 From: NY Member No.: 7,808 ![]() |
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Sad parent. I'm also sorry that you're sick. Try to take good care of yourself right now. I know it's hard. My dog Wolfie passed away on Monday, and it's been difficult for me to eat and sleep, but it's important to try.
I can relate to much of what you wrote. The grief can be crushing and it's hard to believe at times that life will have any meaning ever again, especially when everywhere you look, you're reminded of your baby, which is so painful right now because you're missing him so much. I've read in several places (probably at least one of them here) that when you love your companion as much as you love Snugs, then it only makes sense that the grieving will be just as intense. I can't say for sure, since I too am newly mourning, but I think/hope that eventually, the sadness will begin to fall away, little by little, and what will remain is the love that had always been there. I hope you're able to rest up tonight, and that you feel at least a little better in the morning. And remember, we're all in this together. Hugs, Kelly |
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#38
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 42 Joined: 2-March 13 Member No.: 7,928 ![]() |
Hi
Just read your post I hope your remembering the good times now, but fully understand how feel having just my Darling Simba last Wednesday (27.2.13), feeling the same guilt too & struggling to cope having built my day around him in an otherwise empty house whist my hubby is at work & my son away at university. Every thing just seems pointless & raw left feeling desperate for any sign of his presence to cling to, sounds silly but its the way is. Know what you mean about vets you sometimes feel that they get the animal to a point of serious illness cos there is more money to be made out of it, had to make a complaint about Simba's 1st vet cos i could see he was not well with arthritis at the time which started other problems, after all animals trust us & come us when they need help & not to get back up from the vet is unforgivable. |
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 13th July 2025 - 06:40 PM |