Hi, Tracy, sending you, your precious Theresa and little Tang our Sunday morning greetings from Noah and me. I hope this finds you and your precious furkids doing well and in reasonably good spirits. By now you have your laundry done and perhaps your precious furkids are enjoying some balcony time.

I know how challenging it is to put your faith and trust in a Supreme Being that you cannot physically see, touch, or hear. I know how defeating it can feel when you pray for something with your whole heart and soul - - and the sound of silence in reply is deafening. I know what it is like to look around and see others have the very things and desires you are asking for - - and wonder "why not me?" The only answer I have for you, Tracy, is to continue talkng to God. I promise you He has not turned a deaf ear to your needs. I can honestly tell you, Tracy, that as I look back over my life there are things that I do wonder "what if things had been different" - - BUT I am also so very much aware of the blessings I HAVE, and am very grateful to God for His mercy and goodness. Even as I look back over the horrible experience of my employment in the venomus snake pit I see how He protected me from the full force of evil that does exist there - - and yes I do mean evil - - and how He helped me to prepare for the reality of my departure from it. So, just keep talking to God, - - I promise you He is working on answering your prayer.

Today is a low key one here for my Noah and me. He is stretched out next to me taking a late morning nap as I'm writing to you. I hope you, your precious Theresa and little Tang will be able to enjoy the blessings of this day, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

But I'm still worried about Tang. Who knows how much longer he can hold out? It's Tom all over again Today he's been hiding out more than usual. Oh, he perks up a bit if he sees me and/or I talk to him. But he usually moves around a lot; follows me when I talk to him - but not today. He's been snuggled up to a pair of shoes in the bedroom for hours. I'm so afraid that I've waited too long, and I'm going to lose another baby boy. It's not fair. This is why I say he would have been better off without me. At least if he was still in the care of the vet, he'd get the treatment he needs. In my longing to fill a void in me, I've condemed another precious boy. The only thing different about today is that the heat has racheted up almost 15 degrees on average. I suppose he's just affected by the heat. But that's probably just wishful thinking.

I hope that you and Noah are well. TTFN

TTT

Got a call today from the rep at Modis. Said I was one of five resumes that Kindred would look at. Just a few minutes ago, he called to say they were not interested in seeing me - ever. No reason given. I really thought 11 years and a total change of management would have washed away any possible "bad blood" but I guess that was too much to ask for. Poor Tang

Hi, Tracy, good afternoon greetings to you, your precious Theresa and little Tang from Noah and me. I truly do hope that you and your precious furkids are having a decent day.

I know how disappointing the news from Kindred is in terms of a job option. However, since there is a history of "bad blood" there it is truly for YOUR best interest not to go back. Focus on your interview for tomorrow so that you can present yourself in the best professional and POSITIVE way. If necessary be sure to leave a little extra ahead of time to allow for any glitches in bus transfers, etc.. You know the route and the timing - - so I know you will be okay. Look FORWARD, Tracy, and stay focused on that.

As forTang, - - he is JUST FINE. He doesn't care if he ever has the surgery on his ear. All he cares about is that he is with the ONE PERSON who LOVES him - - and he's got that. Who is to say that if someone else had adopted him in these troubling economic times that they wouldn't have already turned him into the shelter - - best case scenario - - or worst case scenario abandoned him at a dumpster. Would he still be alive now in either case scenario???? Would the shelter have given him a chance or determined him to be "expendable"??? None of us is guaranteed our next breath, and this includes our precious companions. Whatever happens this is why it is so important for us to cherish every moment that we have with them to let them know they are LOVED. Your not being able to take him to the vet for surgery is NOT a negative reflection on you as his caregiver, Tracy. The important thing is that you are doing the very best you can under the circumstances you are presented with. So PLEASE ENJOY your precious little boy, Tracy. He is a special blessing to you - - and just for you, and his sister Theresa.

Today has been a good one here. I had to go into Rocky Mount to pick up my mower that is now ready for another season. I also stopped off at the Tractor Supply store to get a couple of pairs of yard work gloves. The ones I have are several years old and are very worn out. I was gone for a couple of hours and was ever so glad to get back home to my little Noah. It is a beautiful day weather-wise so the big door is open and gated off to enjoy the fresh air and woodland critters. I hope today has also been pleasant at your homestead, Tracy, so that perhaps your precious furkids have been able to enjoy some balcony time.

Thank you for sharing with us how you, your precious Theresa and little Tang are doing, Tracy. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, and of your precious furkids. I hope you, your precious Theresa and little Tang will have a very peaceful and cozy evening, my friend. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

Even if tomorrow pans out, it's going to be a LONG commute both ways. Even longer than 2 years ago. And that's only if I get a normal "day" shift. I have mapped out the route on the web site and I will have plenty of time. As for cherishing each moment with my kids? Tang just came up out of the blue while I was reading to lay on my chest and purr. He hardley ever does that. I think he's saying goodbye Tom did that a lot right before the end. It's not fair, he's a good boy. I try to look forward, but it's hard. I have not had a "real" job in over 2 years now. One step forward, two steps back. I pray to God not to take Tang and give me the means to help him. But if he does not, that just leaves Theresa. When her time comes, so will mine. There really is nothing left for me.

Tom,

I think Tang came up on your chest & purred to let you know he is OK, he loves you and is wishing you a good interview tomorrow.

I too am pulling for you to land a job soon. Life has so many challenges sometimes it just does not seem like some of us get a break does it? Been there, done that.

I currently have a daughter really struggling with serious health issues herself with pets AND children to feed. She was fired from her job after suffering a heart attack. After 4 months she is finally getting a small UE check that does not even cover her copay medications. I try everyday to encourage her as she has deep, deep depression which is not helping her many medical issues.

I know it is so hard to remain positive when it seems like the deck is stacked against you but please do not ever give up. Somehow, someday there will be relief headed your way. Maybe not winning the lottery but you will get something to at least provide for your "family". Medical care is so very expensive for out fur kids that is very distressing when we feel we are letting them down. But there are literally thousands that know no human kindness, food or a warm place to sleep. Your Theresa & Tang have at least all of that.

Good luck tomorrow........... dazzle 'em & get that job!!!

Flossie's Mom, Ginger

Hi, Tracy, stopping by to say hello to you, your precious Theresa and little Tang from Noah and me. I am thinking of you and hoping that your interview went well this morning.

I so AGREE with Ginger's comment about Tang: "I think Tang came up on your chest & purred to let you know he is OK, he loves you and is wishing you a good interview tomorrow."

Tracy, please believe me when I say I do understand how you feel when you say: "I pray to God not to take Tang and give me the means to help him. But if he does not, that just leaves Theresa. When her time comes, so will mine. There really is nothing left for me." When I was in very deep depression during my recovery and rehab, I firmly believe if it had not been for my furkids' presence I would not have made it through. And after my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle joined the angels 2 years ago I felt the same way projecting how my life would be when my precious Noah would join his sister and his big adopted kitty brother Eli and his doggie brother Oslo in the company of the angels. But now as the veil of grief lifts more I am once again able to embrace the promise that God provides each of us a purpose at different times in our lives, and this is true for you as well. Ginger is so right when she says "I know it is so hard to remain positive when it seems like the deck is stacked against you but please do not ever give up."

I hope your travels to and from the interview went smoothly, and that the job opportunity is a good match for you. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. I hope you, your precious Theresa and little Tang will have a very peaceful and cozy evening, my friend. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Ginger for your encouragement. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I do hope her situation improves soon. Thank you moon_beam for your continued support, hoping you and Noah are well.

Today was not really an interview per se'. It was more like a first level screening which only lasted about 5 minutes or so. He asked some basic questions such as what I was applying for to which I said call center CS. He veriifed that's available as well as sales. I stated my preference for the former. He did write "GOOD" on top of my application, what ever that means. He said it will probably be at least 2 weeks before I hear anything. And that's only if they want to interview me again. Not really holding my breath on that after the Kindred debacle. It was a small office in a shopping center, so I'm hoping that's not the call center. Because from when I left to when I got back home was almost 6 1/2 hours!

The fur tribe did not greet me, but then it's hard for them to get used to any schedule right now. Theresa was on the arm of the couch, and Tang was on the couch itself. I never would have known he sheds much but for that I slipped the cover over to the darker side. Guess I need a lint brush. Go figure. But, he's hanging in there trying to encourage me in his own way, God love him. I know I do and his sister Theresa too. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. Peace and TTFN

TTT

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your interview went and how your precious furkids are doing. That is quite a travel time - 6.5 hours. That would be too much to handle on a daily basis. Sounds like you made progress today - - one step forward in obtaining new employment. The days of having one or maybe two jobs during one's employment life have been long gone for quite awhile. So please don't be upset about your work record. You received an excellent review from the bank and this should be a source of inspiration and encouragement to you. Focus on that, Tracy - - Kindred is part of your PAST and is therefore unimportant. Try not to be too discouraged about the "2-week waiting" period that the interviewer mentioned. You could get a call later this afternoon or anytime. In the meantime just keep doing what you're doing, my friend.

I hope you and your precious Theresa and little Tang are having a very pleasant afternoon, and will have a very peaceful and cozy evening. Thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

Hope you and Noah are well. I do hope if an offer is extended the work site is a lot closer. I'm not sure what you are talking about in regard to a good review from the bank? Unless you are referring to Republic in which I completed the entire assignment with with perfect attendance and always on the top performers/CSR of the week? If so, yes that's good (and I DO always mention that in my talks with God) but it does not really seem to be helping me any.

Weather was cool upon arriving home, so opened the windows and had a nice nap. Theresa on the arm of the couch by my feet, Tang on the one by my head. Arms crossed like a proper gentleman and purring loudly. Theresa glaring at either Tang or myself. Will those two ever get along? Not much else to report. I will keep news posted. TTFN

TTT

Hi, Tracy, sending cool, rainy Wednesday morning greetings to you, your precious Theresa and little Tang from Noah and me. I hope this finds each of you doing well and in reasonably good spirits.

Yes, it is your tour of duty with Republic to which I am referring (I thought it was a bank). Oh Tracy - - of course what you share with God matters!!! I promise you He is NOT ignoring you but IS working to provide you the answer to your needs. All you can do is to continue your job search. In so doing you and God are acting as a team toward your goal.

It sounds to me like your precious Theresa and little Tang are typical furkids - - thank you so much for sharing them with us. Yesterday evening when I went to close the door for the night I did not notice we had a deer in the back yard - - until after I startled it when I started to remove the gates so that I could shut the door. I hope I didn't frighten it away permanently. It is so wonderful having the wildlife know they have a safe place to come to. I had thought about taking down the fence but not so much anymore. Even with the back gate open the fence is clearly marked "no trespassing" so having the fence up does provide the deer - - in particular - - a safe haven from the hunters while they are inside the fence.

Noah is curled up on a soft throw on the sofa taking a late morning nap as I'm writing to you. It is that kind of a day. Perhaps I will do a load of laundry today - - Noah's laundry -- pillow covers, towels, etc.. I hope today is being kind to you, Tracy, and to your precious Theresa and little Tang. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. I hope you, your precious Theresa and little Tang will have a very peaceful and cozy evening, my friend. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

Yes, Republic is a bank. I can't believe that I ever thought if I did a good enough job, it would turn permanent. I finally see myself as a temp/contractor as most companies do - cheap disposable labor, not be thought of as actual people. Hope you are right about me and the Divine being a team working toward a common good. My daily message that I get on facebook said:


"On this day of your life, Tracy, we believe God wants you to know ... that you've been talking to God too much, and not listening enough.
Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you become quiet and listen to God. You've learned how to talk and ask well. Time to learn how to listen and hear, because God has been answering you."

So, I've been trying to listen. So far, I'm not getting anything. I will keep posting on jobs as I see them at the various web sites and the emails I get each day. Soldier on and all that. I'm chuckling at your doing Noah's laundry. What a lucky boy. I hope the deer and other local wild life keeps coming around. Not much else going on here today. Hope you are both well. TTFN

TTT

Hi, Tracy, gloomy cloudy chilly Thursday early afterrnoon greetings to you, your precious Theresa and little Tang from Noah and me. I hope this finds you and your precious furkids doing well and in reasonably good spirits.

It is true that we can be so involved with talking to God that we are not equally involved in listening to Him - - and I say this as a guilty one from past, present, and most probably future experience. And it is sometimes that we don't like His answers so we shut Him out while continuing to press our points of view in front of Him. I am so shaking my head and smiling from first hand knowledge as I'm writing this to you as in spite of this God continues to be faithful in His care and provision for my needs - - as He is for your and your precious furkids' needs, my friend. One of the many good things about God is that He knows who we are as the individuals He fashioned us to be. So just be who you are with Him, my friend.

In the laundry area there is a drain in the floor in case the washer should malfunction and flood the floor. This drain goes into the septic tank - or so I presume it does. Noah frequently keeps guard over this drain. Just a little while ago he was sleeping comfortably on the sofa when all of a sudden he rushes over to the drain and looks down inside it. Right now he is crouched on the carpet runner in the laundry area keeping a vigilant stare at the drain. I went over and turned on the light over the washer and looked down the drain but could not see anything, nor could I hear anything. But Noah certainly has at least heard something, and he is ready to defend his home in case anything should pop through the drain cover.

Nothing else happening at the moment. Still working on getting the last of the stuff organized from the pit. The good news is that I am now seeing some table through the dwindling piles, so I guess I am making progress. I hope today is being kind to you and your precious Theresa and little Tang, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

Chuckling at Noah and the drain. Tom was like that with the furnace closet. As for the answers God is giving me? How about this. Lately Tang has been drinking a lot more water and peeing with more frequency. Now, I know it does not necessarily mean he's diabetic, but it's not good. How is that for an answer from a God who is compassionate and has my back? Striking at me through helpless fur kids - I'm not sure what kind of message I'm supposed to get from that. Perhaps He's telling me not to take in any more so that I can cross over the bridge that much sooner. They are, after all, the only thing that keeps me going. Perhaps in my stubborn quest to exist, I'm upsetting the apple cart of the cosmos. Frankly I give up in trying to make any sense of it any more. I do hope you and Noah are well though. Peace and TTFN

TTT

Hi there

Hope you and Tang are ok today. I do not think god is striking you with helpless fur babies. I have to admit I Am not a believer in him but since losing Chewy I like to think there's is something else out there etc but back to the point if there is a god I am sure he sent you fur babies that need help because he knows you have the care, love and patience to look after them. If you didn't they could be with someone who does not care or out on the street. Tang needs you just as much as you need him and I'm sure he wouldn't change that for the world!

xxForeverxx

Thank you xxForeverXX

Today's message:


"On this day of your life, Tracy, we believe God wants you to know ... that it is time to finally forgive yourself.
You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about."

We will see. This evening Theresa didn't claim the couch as she usually does. She has been positioning herself never far from Tang. Almost like she's keeping a vigil. For all I know she did the same for Tom. I will never know for sure....

Tom's Dad, I am sorry that you are having a tough time and that Tang has been drinking more water. It could also be his kidneys instead of diabetes. Tom's Dad, I do believe that God is good, but we live in a fallen world and sometimes it falls on us. God is not striking at you through your fur kids. That is not His character. God is infinitely good. He doesn't go around 'zapping' people or pets with illnesses. God cares for all His creation. If bad things happen to us or our fur kids it doesn't mean that God is somehow getting back at us. As I said before, we live in a fallen world and sometimes it falls on us. Please don't give up on God. The times when you are having a tough time dealing with things are the times when you should draw near to God. We don't always know why we have to go through so much suffering, and God doesn't always tell us. As you can read from the Book of Job in the Bible God didn't tell Job why all these terrible things happened to him, but Job came away with a deeper understanding of God. I don't know if this helps any, but please try to keep your spirits up.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Thank you DannysMom

Encouragement is always appreciated. I don't know if it's more accurate to say I gave up on God as much as it seems He gave up on me (my fur family by extension) I'm of no particular religion (don't really care for it actually) but have always tried to draw strength in belief and faith in a higher power. As I examine my life, I find there have been many more valleys than peaks. Especially these past 2 years. I keep hoping for that ray of sunshine, that opportunity just around the corner. I certainly do my best to MAKE it happen. But, alas, neither tack seems to be working very well. Thank you again for your kind words of encouragement. Peace and blessings to you and your little Mindy.

TTT

Hi, Tracy, stopping by to say hello to you, your precious Theresa and little Tang from Noah and me on this sunny Friday late afternoon. I hope this finds each of you doing well and in reasonably good spirits.

Haven't seen any deer in the back yard since I startled the deer visiting a few evenings ago, but then the weather has been rather lousy so they may be staying deep in the thickets for warmth and protection from the elements. It sure is nice to see the sunshine again after several gloomy days. From the current forecast today is supposed to be the warmest day of the week - - temp hovering around 70 degrees at the moment. Temps are supposed to fall back into the 50's with rain beginning tomorrow on through most of next week. The yard work is still patiently waiting to begin for the season.

Today I busied myself with the ongoing project of organizing the rest of the stuff I brought home from the pit. I can actually see the top of the table now!!!! YEA!!!! This was the last of the multitude of supplies I had needed to purchase since my ex-employer was very stingy about purchasing supplies - - we even had to purchase our own highlighters and post it notes.

I hope today is being kind to you, your precious Theresa and little Tang, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam

Weather is about the same here, but it's just a state over so it figures. Sounds like you got a lot done today (wish I could say the same) It's good that you are done with the "pit" and able to to do what YOU want to do now. I'm very happy for you.

I posted on a few more jobs today. Some days I can't so much because they are the same jobs I posted on already. I like that about careerbuilder.com the fact that it tells you if you already posted on it. I will need to go through my emails and jot some of them down as I'm pretty sure when I call for my next check Sunday it will tell me got to an office for a review. I never had to do that before. The last time I was out this long I was selected to come in for a job hunt seminar instead. I'm not looking forward to it. But that's what I have to do to get the pittance they are giving. Kids are about the same. I'm trying to cherish each moment with them. Hope you and Noah are well. TTFN.

TTT