Hi, Forever, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so sorry about your Chewy's collar. When we are in deep grief it is extremely difficult for us to make decisions as "competently" as we are normally able to do. Have you thought about calling or visiting the vet office to ask if by chance they still have your beloved Chewy's collar? Sometimes folks who work at the vet offfices keep things for awhile just in case the human guardian comes looking for their beloved companion's collar, leash, etc.. It's worth a try, - - perhaps?

Forever, please know that with or without your beloved Chewy's collar your beloved Chewy is forever with you in your heart and your memories. I hope life is treating you kindly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Forever, and look forward to sharing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, I too have lost my cat recently and I can understand completly how you feel.
The loss is overwhelming and it keeps sneaking up, fine one minute, complete blubbering mess the next. But you can't blame yourself. You loved Chewy, built amazing memories together and loved eachother. I know the grief can pull you down, at the moment I feel exactly the same, thinking of all the things that could have been done differently but somewhere Chewy is still with you. Im certain he knew how much he was loved and you gave him a comfortable, happy life.
You say you and your partner were hoping to try for a baby this year, which is the same for me, right now I couldn't imagine having a child while I'm still grieving either but with time comes acceptance, and the fond memories will remain.
My thoughts are with you at such a hard time x x x

xxForeverxx, please allow me to add my sincere sympathies for the loss of your precious Chewy. What a sweet little boy! I love the photo of him as a kitten. I find myself in the same position as I keep searching for Danny's collar. He only wore it for about 10 minutes or so that it took for him to bite clean through the plastic tab. That was his way of saying:"No, Mom, I do not like this thing!" It was so pretty, in green with little paw prints on it. I had kept it all these years as a reminder of this incident, but for the life of me I cannot find it now. xxForeverxx, please do not beat yourself up over having not wanted Chewy's collar at the time. At a time like this we simply don't make rational decisions as our hearts are so heavy and the pain is so deep and the whole thing is just too much to deal with. Hang on to Chewy's toys and treasure them. Peace and blessings to you!

Hi everyone

Thank you all for your lovely replies. The support is once again amazing.

moon_beam thank you so much for your reply. After reading your post about asking them I straight away thought your right I should just ask....but I can't face talking to them without crying, so instead I wrote them a letter explaining everything. Yesterday I got a small package and a reply....it had his collar and his tag on it....I just cried with sadness but I also found myself smiling as I finally had every part of him back with me. If it hadn't been for this site and your words I probably would not have thought sensibly about asking for it and just wallowed in my grief. It is now sat on top of Chewy's ashes. My boy kitten Fudge keeps jumping up and sniffing the collar...I get a little upset but this as I do not want him to touch it but then I also think does he recognise the smell?

Kate thank you so much for your support and I am very sorry for your loss. The whole concept of time healing does not seem true yet but then it has been still such a short time since we lost our loved ones. I do find myself wanting a child with my fiancé again though. Not in the way I did before as no matter what it won't be as perfect, as having my family with a human child meant my Chewy being there as it would have been complete. That is now broken. But I am starting to feel like I do have so much love to give. Being around my friend and her little girl has helped remind me why I wanted a child though. Give it time and you will as well want that again even if it feels wrong.

DannysMom thank you for your kind reply.it is amazing how we can just read what they do in a way that let's us know what they are thinking. I am sure he probably was saying "is collar does not suit me!" I am so sorry for the loss of your Danny. I didn't have loads of toys for my little boy as he either loved going outside and playing or when he came in he either played with my fiancé or laid asleep with me....but I do find myself buying things for the kittens now thinking I wander whether he would have laid on that or played with that? The one toy he did love was this willow sack which had catnip in it. He would go mental over that!

My photo album I am constructing is coming along nicely. I have to do it in parts at the moment though as it's hard to see all the pictures of him so happy when he was taken away so cruelly at such a young age.

xxForeverxx

Hi, Forever, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so glad you were able to get your beloved Chewy's collar back from the vet. I know you treasure his collar and tag. Your precious Fudge is honoring your beloved Chewy by sniffing his collar, so please don't be upset about this. Instead you may want to softly talk to your litte Fudge as he's doing it, "Yes, Fudge, that collar belongs to our beloved Chewy. Although he's with the angels, his sweet Living Spirit is forever with us."

I'm so glad you are pleased with how your memory photo album is coming along. I hope it will bring many good memories to you as you work on it.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Forever. Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Chewy with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Forever, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

Thank you for your reply. I was doing ok...still ready eyed whenever I had the chance to think about my baby which is a lot when your a student and spend a lot of time at home but I was able to go out with people etc and then today came. Me and my fiancé were bored out of our minds....could not think of anything to do....and then the wave just hit me again....everything would be fine if my Chewy was here. If I was ever bored before it didn't matter as I would just go upstairs and lay with him or go outside and look for him so he could play hide and seek! What do I do when there is nothing to do and I'm that bored? I can just see now that every problem I used to have actually never mattered before as long as I had Chewy.

Then my other half said he was just quickly going to his mums to pay our rent and asked if I wanted to come but it's our old house and I can't bring myself to go there. I have not been there since Christmas and I'm not sure I can. But it is his families house now and I can't just never ever go there again.....but the memories are too painful.

xxForeverxx

xxForeverxx, I am so glad that you got Chewy's collar back from the vet. This is really wonderful, and I know it must make you feel so much better to have it. I still haven't found Danny's collar, but it's got to be here somewhere.
Your Chewy was such a cute little boy! I love both the kitten photo and the adult photo of him. He looks so alert and lovable in the kitten photo. It is good that you have the kittens to help you cope. I know they're not Chewy, because every cat is unique and different, but I think it helps if you have another pet to help you with the grief. It's certainly helped me to have Tina, my surviving pet, and Mindy, my new kitten. Putting together a journal or photo album helps too. There just is no easy remedy for grief, and it will hurt for a while. We are here for you.

Dear xxForeverxx,

I've told Trevor about Chewy and he's on the prowl already. They should be good friends by morning!

Love.
Bobbie

Thank you once again for the kind replies.

DannysMom I hope you do find your babies collar somewhere. Like you say it must be somewhere in the house....although if he hated it maybe he has hidden it and is looking down thinking don't you dare find that!!

Bobbie thank you for reassuring me Chewy has a friend and someone looking out for him. That is some comfort.

I just want to say today happy valentines day my baby boy. Chewy....you were my valentine each day for the last three years and I miss you so much. I'm sending my kisses to you tonight and I hope your ok wherever you are. I know I have daddy but I wish I could spend it with you. I love you more than anything in the world and always will. Stay safe Mr Chew Chew. <3 ***************x

xxForeverxx

I love you Chewy.

I am trying so hard to get used to this house as I still blame it for you losing your life that was still so young and ready for more of the world. I just want to come home and find you sitting at the door waiting for me or go upstairs and finding you laying on the bed ready for a stroke. I even look at our bunny Honey and thi you can't chase each other around the garden anymore.

It's that constant thought in my mind that I can no longer hold you and never will again in this life. It is so painful. But no matter what baby I love you and I will forever and I hope your happy and know that I am sorry.

Love your mummy ***x

xxForeverxx

xxForeverxx...I am so sorry to hear about the circumstances of your loss of Chewy. I know that it's hard to lose such a precious fur baby at such a young age. I believe that the young (both animals and humans) have a special place in the next world, where they will be loved and especially cared for until their humans come. I'm sure that my Percy is keeping him company--he was young at heart, so I think that they'll get along quite well. In the meantime, it's nice to know that there are so many of us in the same situation.

Thank you gracelysprocket for your reply. I truly hope Percy and Chewy are firm friends now.

I have a dilemma baby boy and I do not know what to do....I feel bad even talking about the dilemma but think the guys on here are more likely to know the answer....I would say I wish you were here to help me decide like you use to....but of course if you were here there wouldn't be a dilemma as I wouldn't even need to think about it
What to do?

I'm sad today baby. I miss you so much. I think Fudge misses playing with you as and I wish you had had more time to help them grow into the wonderful cat you were. Maybe you can give them some guidance from above over the years as I will think of you every single day for the rest of my life.

I love you baby boy. My mr Chew Chew. Forever and ever <3

Mummy ***x

My Chewy

It has been just over two months....I cannot believe where the time has gone. I cannot believe I have survived this long without you. If I could I would change places with you. I am feeling a little better though as I realise just how much I love you and just how much you made me smile. Those thoughts still make me cry too but you would want me to smile about you I think so I try to as much I can.

We have brought the rabbits Chase and Honey inside into the conservatory....the kittens are a little unsure....they havent learnt yet that Honey will happily bite them if they try and attack them....you learn't that the hard way but soon loved playing with your bunny rabbit. I am sure she misses seeing you around too.

Fudge looks a bit bored now. I know you use to get annoyed when he tried to play with you but occasionally you would give in and play with him and now he does not have that as much. I think you use to give in and play with him when you thought we weren't looking and then when we did you would pretend like you still hated him!!

I am sorry if the kittens were a nuisance to you last year baby. I didn't expect something like this to happen to you at such a young age so thought you would have more time to have happy days with them so I feel a bit guilty for pretty much forcing them on you. You were such a good boy though and put up with them.

I miss you baby. And I hope you are safe and happy.

Love you always.

Mummy ***x

Hi, Forever, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beautiful love letter to your beloved Chewy. I'm smiling at your Chewy mentoring the kittens, and your observation: "I think you use to give in and play with him when you thought we weren't looking and then when we did you would pretend like you still hated him!!" I truly believe your beloved Chewy enjoyed his kitten siblings. I remember when my mom wanted us to get a canine companion. We had a cat, and I wasn't "sold" on the idea of undertaking the care of a dog on top of so many other things. We did eventually bring home a baby boy - - mixed Lab / Border Collie and our Holly was not pleased to say the least. She would heckle Samson no end - - until one night when she had him chasing her all over the house and she stopped short in the living room. Poor Samson tried putting on the brakes but ended up right on top of her. This time instead of reaching up to give him a smack on the nose, she licked his tummy, and they were good friends after that. So, I firmly believe your beloved Chewy is ever so happy to have kitty siblings to mentor from the garden.

Forever, thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Chewy with us. I hope today is treating you kindly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for that story moon_beam it really put a smile on my face

My baby boy Chewy....I missed you yesterday on my birthday. I wish I could have had a cuddle as that would have been the perfect birthday present.

I have something to tell you although I am sure you already know.

Back when we had to let you go I went on cat sanctuary websites as it made me feel a little better. I came across a little girl 10 months old, looked like you, had been a stray pregnant kitten. I don't think anything of it as I did not want to get another cat....I felt bad enough having the kittens. Something kept taking me back to the site....maybe it was because she looked like you but wasn't you so I could see the photo without smiling. 2 months later though she still had not been adopted....all the other cats on the site had been. I said to your dad that we should go an have a look as I feel like something is pulling me to her. We went on Saturday and ended up coming home with her....weird thing is they had put her birthday as march the 5th last year....same as my birthday!? Was that the sign I needed? I keep looking for signs baby that you are ok....please don't be mad that Ellie has come into our lives. I would give anything to have you back you know that. You made me love and understand the beautiful creatures that you are. I will always love you.

Mummy xx

Forever,

I think you've answered your own question - that lovely little girl was meant to be yours. I believe Chewy helped you find her - and helped her find you. What a beautiful gift he has given you: new love. I am sure that Chewy couldn't possibly be angry at you for loving Ellie, and I imagine he's happy to know you have someone to love you as much as he did.

I was reading about you being angry at your new house for contributing to your loss of Chewy; I remember how that felt. Our first cat, Cleo, died a week after we moved into our new home - the first house my husband and I bought together. Now, nearly eight years later, our house has become our home, and seven cats have lived and played here. Not all of them are with me in the flesh, but I think all their little spirits are here, blessing us. I like to think that Chewy's spirit is there, blessing you and your home.

Hi, Forever, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Congratulations on your new furchild Ellie. May you and your little girl have a long, healthy, and happy earthly journey together.

My I add my support to Pippins' Mom in that I, too, firmly believe that your beloved Chewy had a paw in guiding your and Ellie's paths together. So enjoy your precious little girl.

Thank you again so much for sharing your wonderful news with us. I hope today is treating you, your husband, and your precious Ellie kindly. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi

Kel thank you so much for your added support. I think that has been the most difficult thing....moving house. As I do feel I took him away from his home where he rarely saw harm. But then now my head is slightly clearer I can see that he loved going outside here as well as for the two weeks he was here he loved running around the garden and playing with the next door neighbours cat. I think it is still the what ifs I think about sometimes but then I know you can not think like that as I could have moved next year and it still happened. I do think sometimes I can feel his spirit in the home usually when my other boy Fudge looks round and stares at something that is not there....but then maybe there is? who knows!

moon_beam Ellie is a lovely cat and extremely friendly with any adult she comes across....we are having a little problem with them all getting along though. She is currently in the spare room with toys, beds, scratching posts, litter tray and food ad drink but I would love for her to soon be able to run around the house....but she has a problem with my cats. I am trying to think of things to try to make her like them....any suggestions from you or anyone would be much appreciated!

My Chewy....I was not going to write a post without saying hello to you. I can not believe it has almost been 10 weeks. I still cry for you every day baby but I also shed tears of happiness from the joy I had with you. You really were the best cat I ever could have had and you taught me so much. You pop into my dreams occasionally and that does hurt but for the first time I also find myself dreaming about the kittens which makes me think you are trying to get me to think about them more. I see now just how much of a good boy you were with the kittens. Ellie is struggling and goes to hurt them sometimes. You never once laid a paw on them only to play fight but there were no claws. I think i under estimated just how good of boy you were with them and I thank you for your patience. I love you Chewy and I always will for the rest of my life. I will always be sorry I could not have done more to help you. I hope today at the bridge you are having lots of fun with your new friends.

Mummy xx

Hello xxForeverxx, and a happy belated birthday to you. Your Chewy was such a cute little boy. I am glad that you found a little kitten. And I agree with moon_beam that your little Chewy had a paw in this. I hope that little Ellie will adjust to life in your home and that she will bring you much joy.

xxForeverxx, it's best not to force them on each other and to keep them separate for a while. It also helps exchanging blankets and letting Ellie sleep on the kittens blankets and letting them get used to each others scents. Ellie may be defending her territory, so it's best trying to make her feel safe and giving her a separate place of her own where she can be comfortable. It may take a few weeks for them to get along better.