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 We Had To Let Our Myah Go..... |
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 Mar 7 2011, 08:31 PM
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#21
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025  |
Today I received a beautiful card from my Vet and staff, they gave a donation in honor of Myah to the Purdue University Vet School . I was so touched, and of course I cried. I can't talk about the details of what happened without crying, but I am starting to have a few more smiling moments!
Tomorrow will be one week, I appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers. Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 8 2011, 06:07 PM
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#22
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 Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, Doe, how special it is getting the card from your vet, and the donation they made in loving memory of your precious Myah. It's hard to believe a week has gone by already, isn't it? Each day right now is very difficult to endure, and I'm so glad you are here with us, and hope you feel comforted by each of our responses.
Doe, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Mar 8 2011, 07:36 PM
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#23
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
moon_beam,
I am comforted in knowing I can come on here and tell my feelings, that I will not be judged, only given kind words and encouragement. Today was very, very hard, I was the one who took Myah in for her surgery so I kept looking at the clock all day. Lat week @ 9:00am dropped her off and kissed her bye. I went to the grocery store, and drove by the hospital around 1:30, hoping she was doing ok, 2:25pm Dr. called with the news I dreaded. All day long I was reliving last Tuesday. I was making a salad tonight, Myah was always around for a piece of cheese, no Myah today, so here came my tears again. I will say, I can think about here without going hysterical with crying, the tears come at such unexpected times. I can't say enough about how grateful I am to have found this forum. It has helped me in so many ways to deal with my grief. One day at a time, one step at a time. with much appreciation for your comforting words, Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 8 2011, 11:08 PM
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#24
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 219 Joined: 26-January 11 Member No.: 6,981 |
Dear Doe,
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Myah. She's sooo adorable! Thank you for sharing the pic. This grief journey is a one day at a time experience. Anniversaries, whether one week or six months are always painful. And yes, the tears come at unexpected times. I read what you wrote about the decision you had to make with Myah. You made an extremely difficult and wise decision. My beautiful Victoria had cushings disease for which she was receiving meds, and eventually it seemed to have spread to her liver or kidneys and she was euthanized. You are not alone with your pain. Please continue to let us know how you are doing. Hope you are able have a restful and peaceful sleep tonight. With serenity and healing thughts, Juturna |
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Mar 9 2011, 12:25 AM
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#25
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
Juturna,
Thank you for your comforting post. I knew the cushings was going to be ongoing, but was not prepared for what they found during the ultrasound. Then when making plans for the surgery, I hoped they would be able to get the tumor out, still knowing she could have cancer, I guess the urgency with which we had to make the decision is one of the things causing me so much pain and doubt. When I sit and rationalize what life would have been for Myah after the surgery, and what could have happened, we felt we owed it to her to let her go peacefully. I have said it many times, I appreciate you, and all of those who post their caring thoughts and prayers. I am so happy I found this forum. I can't state enough times how much it is helping me through this difficult time. To read the many posts from those who come back many times to tell how they are doing, and to those like you and moon_beam, and others who come on each day and answer everyone. AMAZING! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to share my Myah with all of you. Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 9 2011, 05:07 PM
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#26
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Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, Doe, the anniversaries are difficult - - the first hour, the first day, the first week, the first - - of everything - - is a constant reminder of the physical absence of our beloved companions. Let the tears come, Doe, for they are healing tears. They will wash the pain out of your heart so that someday, when you least expect it, you will be thinking of your precious Myah and you will find yourself smiling - - and your heart warmed by her sweet Living Spirit. I promise this will happen for you, Doe - - slowly one day at a time.
I hope today has been a peaceful one for you, and that your evening will also be a peaceful one. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Doe, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Mar 9 2011, 09:43 PM
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#27
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 219 Joined: 26-January 11 Member No.: 6,981 |
Dear Doe,
The sudden painful news that your precious Myah was so critically ill was a shock. And when we have to make life and death decisions in a state of shock, it is more than difficult. I trust that you were guided to make the right decision for your beautiful girl and hope that you can trust that, as well. Euthanasia is never an easy decision. You made a compassionate decision for her. The overwhelming grief is very intense in this stage of your loss. Please know that the tears serve a purpose, and that is to wash away the pain. Reading and responding to your posts is also helpful to me in my grief journey. So, I hope you will continue to let us know how you are doing. Wishing you a peaceful night. With healing thoughts and serenity, Juturna |
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Mar 10 2011, 04:04 PM
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#28
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
moon_beam & Juturna,
I picked up Myah's cremains today, I managed to hold it together while talking with the vet staff. There was a lady in the waiting room with a little yorkie and I barely made it to my car before breaking down. I am having such mixed feelings, glad that our Myah is home, but sad at the finality of it all. The place that takes care of the cremation "Paws & Remember" wrote us a beautiful note, and they made a donation to a local animal shelter in Myah's name. Everyone has been so compassionate. I miss her so very much. Thank you for taking this journey with me, one day at a time, one step at a time, Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 10 2011, 09:22 PM
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#29
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 219 Joined: 26-January 11 Member No.: 6,981 |
Dear Doe,
Bringing the ashes home does carry mixed emotions. How touching that the crematory made a donation in precious Myah's name. I cried all the way home when I picked up my beautiful Victoria's cremains. I totally understand how you feel and how much you miss her. You are not alone in this grief journey. Please be gentle with yourself, one day at a time. Hope your night is peaceful. With healing thoughts and serenity, Juturna |
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Mar 11 2011, 04:36 PM
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#30
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Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, Doe, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. As Juturna has so compassionately shared with you I just want to affirm her comforting words: receiving our beloved companion's ashes is a two sided coin: On the one side we are glad to have them back home while on the other side it is yet another blatant reminder that your beloved Myah is no longer physically with you.
Perhaps in time you will be able to think of a way that you can provide a memorial for your precious Myah: A scrapbook, a video / slide show of her earthly journey with you, a donation to your veterinary hospital, - - whatever brings comfort to your heart and honors the eternal love bond you share with your precious Myah. Doe, I hope today has been a decent one for you, and that you will have a peaceful evening and weekend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Mar 14 2011, 07:28 PM
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#31
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
moon_beam,
I wanted to let you know we went through lots of pictures and videos of Myah. There were many tears, and also lots of laughing as we were remembering all of her antics. I know this pool season is going to be very hard, she was in that pool every day. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks, time seems to have flown by. I think about her all the time, and sometimes think I see her coming around the corner, or down the stairs. I feel her presence with me, hopefully I don't sound to crazy......... Coming to this forum has been such a tremendous help, I thank you once again for all of the kind words and encouragement. Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 14 2011, 08:47 PM
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#32
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 Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 172 Joined: 13-March 11 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 7,037 |
QUOTE (doe2658 @ Mar 3 2011, 01:07 PM)  Hello everyone, I am new here,we lost our yorkie Myah on Tuesday.March 1st. She was 10 years young! I want to apologize for this lengthy post. Here is a timeline of events~ She was diagnosed with cushings disease 2 weeks ago, one of the tests was an ultrasound to determine if the cuhings disease was in the adrenal glands or pituitary glands, during the ultrasound they discovered a mass on her liver. So we put the cushings disease treatment (which wasn't life threatening) on hold so we could tackle the tumor. The surgeons thought it was in one of her lobes so the plan was to open her up for exploratory surgery, take a biopsy, and if they could get the lobe out without any complications they would proceed. During the procedure, (while Myah was still under the anesthetic) the Dr. called and gave us the worse news possible. He stated that the main tumor was the size of a golf ball, and was "friable" ( meaning thin and easily torn) as they tried to manipulate the tumor, which was embedded far up in the lobe, it tore, they decided then that it was not removeable.They discovered another tumor on the other side of her liver and did remove that one. His main concern at this point was~ "Do we wake her up, or do we let her go peacefully." ***added on March 4th~ I did go in to get Myah's blanket and the locks of hair they had saved for us, Dr. came out to check on how I wa doing, he told me that after Myah passed, he did go back in and removed the larger tumor ( which he showed me) It was huge, and very ugly looking. Just a bit of backpedling here~ Myah was a larger yorkie, almost 18 lbs. From the start she loved being in our pool. She would jump off of the diving board, she had her own raft ( she was our "pool girl") Everyone that came over knew it wa her pool, her rules! The Dr. stated on the phone that his concern was this~ If we wake her up, send her home ( for a painful recovery) and given what they had discovered about the tumor (it could easily tear and she could bleed to death) she was living on borrowed time, as he thought she might have 6 weeks-2months. Our dilema was~ Can't we just have her for one more pool season. Then the Dr. stated "she won't make it to pool season." With that we decided what we wanted was more time for US, we weren't thinking about Myah's time and her possible suffering, as she wasn't going to get better, she wasn't fixable at this point. This was by far, one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make, let her go peacefully and somewhat healthy, (at least for the time being.) Her outward appearance showed no signs of the disease that was ravaging her liver. I have been so positive, hoping for the best, yet in the back of my mind bracing for the worst. I am a true believer that sometimes God says Yes, and sometimes he says No. He had a reason for wanting our Myah right now. W said at the time we decided to let her go that, 1) We owed it to her to let her go peacefully 2) We would not second guess ourselves. 3) She wasn't going to be the same Myah we had known for 10 years. Well, here we are totally throwing out all of that, hurting so badly, I found this forum, read through the stories of beloved pets, and knew I had to share my feelings. The house feels so cold and empty without her, we are having her cremated so we will have an urn with her cremains soon. Everywhere we turn, everything we do always revolved around Myah and her sister Molly who is 9, she is missing her teribly. I appreciate the opportunity to share, and I welcome anyones commets and suggestions for dealing with our loss. Thank you all so much, Doe Hi Doe, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your little Myah. What a huge personaility she had - in my limited experience with Yorkies, unusual for one to love water so much (I had a Yorkie years ago and he hated the pool)! Peggy, my Golden Retiever who passed 2 weeks ago didn't love the pool (bodies of water yes, pool not so much). I think your sweet little Yorkie got some of my Peggy's missing water dog genes. I wish I could say someting to help ease the pain. But I have no clue how to get through this, aside from putting one foot in front of the other and continuing forward. Hoping that the pain will eventually subside and you can think of them with a smile instead of tears. Just know that there are others out here in cyberspace who understand your pain and care about helping you through it. I will keep you, your family and Myah in my prayers. And a big cyber-hug to you. Please take care of yourself. Peggy |
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Mar 14 2011, 09:21 PM
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#33
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
Peggy,
Thank you so much, I am taking it one day at a time, one memory at a time. I guess that's all any of us can do. I do feel being able to share feelings with people who understand has really helped with my ability to deal with Myah's passing. I pray you find peace tonight, and in the days to come, Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 14 2011, 09:46 PM
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#34
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 172 Joined: 13-March 11 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 7,037 |
QUOTE (doe2658 @ Mar 14 2011, 10:21 PM) Peggy, Thank you so much, I am taking it one day at a time, one memory at a time. I guess that's all any of us can do. I do feel being able to share feelings with people who understand has really helped with my ability to deal with Myah's passing. I pray you find peace tonight, and in the days to come, Doe Thank you, Doe. I offer prayers for your peace as well and will ask that you have happy dreams that help lighten your heart. Peggy |
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Mar 15 2011, 04:34 PM
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#35
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Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, Doe, please be assured you are NOT crazy when you feel her presence with you. It's her way of letting you know she is very much a part of you, and she continues to be with you.
The anniversaries are hard because they are reminders that our very precious companions are no longer physically with us. This grief journey is one of "adjustment" - - of finding our way to a "new normal". Unfortunately there is no way to "fast forward" through this adjustment journey. Doe, I hope today has been a peaceful one for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Mar 22 2011, 05:39 PM
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#36
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
Today marks 3 weeks since we lost our Myah, I have good days and bad days. Today was the first time I took Molly, Myah's sister, to the groomer since Myah's death. It is the first time in 10 years I haven't had them both. My groomer and I had a good cry, we looked at pictures of all of the hair styles Myah has had over the last 10 years.
Last night we had thunderstorms, and I said outloud " well, Mia Myah you don't have to be scared of those nasty storms anymore" She was so afraid of storms, we tried medication and even therapy, but she was always scared. I know she will never be scared again, but I miss her so much. Thanks for listening to me rant! Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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Mar 22 2011, 10:57 PM
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#37
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 38 Joined: 24-February 11 Member No.: 7,019 |
I had to sadly smile when I read about your storm issues with Myah. We had a storm here a few days ago. Our little Finn was so fearless about everything EXCEPT thunder. He would get these giant eyes and tear under the bed. There was nothing my husband and I could do to comfort him, not even bribing him with a snack. The other three cats would barely lift their napping heads.
Oh...those little traits and memories and goofy reactions that each individual furball has... As we go through this process more and more of those sorts of things crop up and when they do, my husband and look at each other and simultaneously say, "Did you just think of Finn?" because we both just did. I think those things/events will occur for a long time now. In months we'll 'forget' and then some unusual thing will happen and we will both stop in our tracks and remember "Did you just think of Finn?" Our babies become so much a part of lives and the holes they leave behind are so big and noticeable at times. You and I are close in time to days we lost our babies so we get to traverse this agonzing path together. I hope you take comfort in knowing you are not alone and my heart is wrapping you in understanding love. Thanks for continuing to share these experiences because it helps me to cope. ConnieJ |
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Mar 23 2011, 04:59 PM
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#38
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Forum Moderator Group: Moderators Posts: 8,088 Joined: 20-July 08 From: Virginia Member No.: 4,861 |
Hi, Doe, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Yesterday was another "first" for you and your precious Molly going to the groomer - - another reminder that your precious Myah is no longer physically with you. I know how much of a heartbreak this was for you, Doe, and I'm so glad your groomer shared your sorrow with you.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Doe. Each day is another step in healing from this grief journey, and please know I am there with you, beside you, and for you with every step you take. Peace and blessings, moon_beam -------------------- In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.
The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face. |
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Mar 23 2011, 09:59 PM
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#39
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 219 Joined: 26-January 11 Member No.: 6,981 |
Dear Doe,
Anniversaries are very difficult, especially at the beginning. "Firsts" are also very hard as Moon_beam said. I'm so glad your groomer was able to be supportive and share your pain. Please take gentle care and know that you are not alone in your grief. I hope you will continue to let us know how you are doing whenever you can. With peace and gratitude, Juturna |
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Mar 24 2011, 10:26 AM
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#40
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Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 20 Joined: 2-March 11 From: Indiana Member No.: 7,025 |
ConnieJ, moon_beam & Juturna,
I appreciate your kind words, I knew if I came on here I would feel better. It helps getting that bit of comfort and encouragement. Thank you all so much, Doe -------------------- “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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