I just watched your video again (have watched it a few times) .....

And I just have one thing to say .... what are we going to do without these beautiful souls in our lives? I don't think I can truly live the way I used to without that special something in my heart.

The same way we do after all those big, life-changing events. Differently. Not better, sometimes worse- but differently. There isn't a half-full glass on this one- but if there was I'd say that (after seeing this website) you will have amazing compassion and empathy for others who have experienced loss- and you will be able to help them through it.

Hi, Peter, just stopping by to say "hello." I was reading your post to Joanne with the imagery of how bleak our sorrow makes us feel like the winter weather. I call this grief journey "the winter of the heart" - - the emptiness, barrenness, lifelessness from the deep sorrow of not having the physical presence of our beloved companions with us. Like the other wonderful people in this forum I am blessed by your video of your precious Bruno. Seeing the happiness he brought to your dad brought back many memories of how my Samson - - my very first dog and a gift to me from my mom - - brought joy into my mom's life in addition to mine. What a blessing that was to share with her, as I know you are feeling blessed to have shared Bruno's earthly journey with your dad.

Peter, as you begin to feel a "re-birth" in your heart as you watch the birds and other precious critters in your garden look forward to the warmth of spring, may your and your dad's heart also feel the warmth of your precious Bruno's sweet Living Spirit in your hearts and memories to cheer you as you continue your earthly journey.

Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, Peter, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your dad are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Saskia

Your photos of Louie, Frankie and Bruno are beautiful. Frankie's in my thoughts and prayers that she will stay healthy after her operation.

Thanks for your kind comments about my animation - ha ha yep it was all fictional luckily I'm shedding a quiet tear once a night when I watch my Bruno in the tribute video I made. Am keeping as busy as possible, but as many people have mentioned here, it's at nights when we can feel the loss of our pets the most. Yes I fully encourage you to record Frankie and Louie lots! I'm sure they will enjoy the extra attention!

Am going out with some family later for a birthday party so will try to enjoy myself with a few beers.

You take care and have a nice weekend also.

Hugs,

Peter

Hi Cryss I loved your blog post about Sassy smiling at you. So touching. The photo you have of her has captured her smile brilliantly. Makes me smile looking at her little face. I also loved your blog post about dogs being happy souls - that is so true. They have such zest for life and pure love and happiness!

Today (Sunday) is painful for my dad and I as it's today that we would normally have taken Bruno to the beach or country park.

I hope you're keeping okay this weekend.

Hugs, Peter

Hi moon_beam

Yeah the way you have described our grief journey as the winter of the heart is a really good description of what we're going through. Aww I'm glad Bruno's video brought back happy memories of your happy times with Samson and your mom. These happy memories bring smiles back to our faces when we least expect. I hope you're keeping okay. Are you having a relaxing weekend?

Last night I had lots of nightmares of Bruno's last moments which replayed in my mind and made me quite distressed. Am feeling a little chirpier today however. Am purposely trying to focus on looking at other dogs, cats, birds and squirrels and feeling blessed that I have the privilege to be alive on earth at this moment in time with their little lives. I even smiled at a tiny little spider which abseiled from my ceiling yesterday and landed on my fingertip!

Blessings, and take care

Peter

Hi Cryss

Well, this is the heaviest grief I've suffered since the abrupt passing of my mother back in January 2000 when I was 22. What I learned from my 'last' grief was not to allow myself to succumb to alcohol to try to 'drown my sorrows', which is the path I previously, incorrectly, chose. Now that Bruno has passed away, I'm staying pretty active and getting on with things. For sure, I've been sharing a few beers with my dad to reminisce about Bruno, but have been keeping it under control. I think that by staying as clear-headed as possible it's less difficult to cope with the grief. Alcohol, as you know, is a depressant...so by at least keeping that in check I have been able to cope a bit better with my loss of Bruno.

I look forward to reading your latest blog posts.

Take care.


Peter

Hi, Peter, it's so good to hear from you today. I have been wondering how things are for you and your dad in the Emerald Isle. I am so sorry that your dreams were not restful or peaceful for you last night. For different reasons I can relate to your "flashback" dreams. They are very distressing and haunting, and is one of the harsher side-effects of this grief journey that is more difficult to reconcile. I hope the wildlife and the beautiful Irish scenery are restoring solitude to your heart and memories.

Yesterday was busy working on getting bills paid and finishing preparing my tax information which tomorrow after work I will turn over to the gentleman who prepares my taxes for me. The older I get the less I'm able to understand all the foolery of the tax laws and forms for this and forms for that. So today Noah is enjoying the sunbeams coming through the windows as I'm watching classic movies on the Turner Classic Movie channel in addition to enjoying watching the antics of the squirrels and birds and other woodland critters, and watching Noah watch the antics of the woodland critters.

Peter, thank you so much for sharing how you're doing. May your heart be filled with the wonder of Nature and your loving memories of Bruno. I hope the sun is shining brightly on your garden today, may the wind be always at your back, may the rain fall softly upon your fields, and may the Lord hold you, your dad, and all those close to you in the palm of His hand. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

Yeah I submitted my accounts to an accountant recently also. It took me ages just trying to get all my receipts and things in order. Hate having to do it! That sounds like a tremendous relaxing day you shared with Noah - idyllic. Also, nothing like a good movie to relax to.

Have had a very blue day today, thinking about Bruno all the time...but kind of feel in my heart that after a good night's sleep tomorrow will be better. Will post again soon when I'm a little less blue.

Take care & chat soon


Peter

Hi, Peter, stopping by to say "hello" and to see how things are going for you and your dad in the beautiful Emerald Isle. I hope this past week was a peaceful one for you both. The "blue days" are really hard. Yesterday was Oslo's 14 month anniversary of joining the angels and it was a "misty" day for me off and on. Today is a better day, and for that I am grateful.

Peter, I do hope that life is treating you kindly. I hope this coming week will be filled with many pleasant moments for you. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam

Thanks so much for your kind post. You are so thoughtful, I really appreciate it.

Last night I was dreadfully sad and cried myself to sleep looking at photos of Bruno on my phone. Have been feeling much chirpier today, but not as chirpy as the little bird in a tree outside my bedroom window which begins to sing at midnight right through until dawn! They have a friend in another far-off tree who sings back to them. Perhaps they rise prematurely due to the street lighting but they seem happy enough!

I'm sorry to hear you had a sad day missing your beloved Oslo. You are such a considerate soul I can just tell that Oslo's spirit is right there with you every time you tap your keyboard to post in this forum, and when you are relaxing at home. I think it's a knock-on effect of the beloved spirits of our pets that we become able to share our thoughts and feelings with others in the hope that they might help others who are grieving in any way possible.

I've bought the domain www.brunospaws.com and only have a site design up there at the moment with test content. In the next few weeks I'll try to get some real content on it - basically any links to here or elsewhere that might benefit pets worldwide in any way. Will post when it's properly up and running. As the domain suggests, it will be an extension of my tribute to my beloved Bruno.

My dad's only just starting to get back to normal. He sang yesterday as he went about his housework I'm sure for the first time since before Bruno got ill. When Bruno got ill last November we pretty much crept about in silence so as to make him as peaceful as possible. Next time I catch my dad singing I'll be sure to join in!

I'm trying to stay pretty active, getting back into some writing and video editing, but Bruno is never far from my thoughts. As many people seem to mention here, the nights can be the times when we miss our pets the most. As a result of this, lately I've been staying up very late and only sleeping once my eyes start to go together. Otherwise there's a real chance that I wake suddenly in the middle of the night and get a huge sinking feeling that Bruno is no longer physically with us, and I have trouble getting back to sleep.

Actually, it's 3.30am now and my eyes are starting to close! Take care of yourself moon_beam and I'll chat to you soon.

Peter

Hi, Peter, the nights are hard to manage, particularly during the deep grief. I'm so glad to know that your dad is beginning to sing again - - the heavenly Irish voice. Our routines do change when our beloved companions' health declines. I can so imagine that your precious Bruno is smiling and looking forward to hearing the heavenly voices of his masters lifted to him in song again - - I can just see him nodding his head and wagging his tail in tempo listening intently at the Bridge.

I admire your technology know how in setting up the website, and will look forward to seeing the rewards of your efforts whenever possible. I hope and pray that this week will be a peaceful one for you and your dad, Peter, and that your nights will be blessed with peaceful sleep. Perhaps the birds outside your bedroom window can sing you a calming lullaby.

Take care, Peter. You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to hearing from you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks for your lovely message moon_beam

Tonight when I came into the empty house I felt compelled to call for Bruno like I used to, and imagined him running down excitedly from the top of the stairs to greet me. Then, I'd hug and pet him like mad and he'd jump up on me...and maybe I'd turn up a song on the radio and we'd dance a little! His tail would always be wagging. I loved Bruno so much and I'm only starting to come to terms with his passing I think.

I hope you and everyone else here are taking things easy and ensuring you make time for quiet moments to reflect on how lucky we are to have been able to spend time with our little friends in their physical form.

I do feel like Bruno is near me and watching over me with my mum. For any of you grieving over your little friends I really believe that they are watching over you also...so the important thing is to get on with living on their behalf. Next time you dig into some tasty food, think of your little friends, because I feel that they are right there with you, chowing down and tasting just as you do. Next time you go for a brisk walk in the fresh air, imagine that your little friends are feeling your legs moving with every stride you take, and are breathing and exhaling each time you fill your chest with oxygen. Next time we sleep, our little friends are sleeping right there with us...in us...and that's the way things will be. We must live life so they, whether it be in spirit or energy form, can continue to live through us.

Candles lit in St Peter's Cathedral, Belfast, today for my dog Bruno (wee Bruno brown eyes) exactly one month after he passed away, aged 16, on January 5th 2011



This was Bruno:




Here is a tribute video I made for Bruno which is up on YouTube:


My heart is broken and aches every day for him. I miss him by my side. Most of all, I miss our hugs.

Hi, Peter, it's so good to log on to find your most welcome note letting us know how you're doing. I know the ache in your heart as you miss your precious Bruno. The process of adjusting to our continued earthly journey without the physical presence of our beloved companions is not an easy one, and there is no fast forward through it. The candles you lit today in loving memory and honor of your precious Bruno reflect the love always burning bright and warm in your heart for him. What a loving tribute to your precious Bruno.

I so agree with your imagery of how our beloved companions continue to share in our lives just as they always have and always will. Thank you so much for sharing with us your cherished memories with your precious Bruno.

Every time I watch your video of Bruno's earthly journey with you and your dad it warms my heart and brings a smile to my face for the love you share together is eternally deep and rich.

I hope you and your dad will have a peaceful day and weekend, Peter, and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. May your hearts glow with the eternal love you share wtih your precious Bruno, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

that is so beautiful, thankyou for sharing that ... i just love it. i'd like to print it out and put it on my fridge if that would be ok with you, please.

he looks like he is smiling in that gorgeous photo. the tribute is wonderful, when he's barking he really looks like he's talking.

i understand the broken heart and the aching for the physical presence of your furbaby ... i feel exactly that too. i only tell you that so that you can maybe feel a little less alone in your hurting with all us here riding alongside you on this journey.

take the gentlest care of you

Hi Rain

Of course, if I ever say anything that might be of use, feel free to use my words. I just read back through your entire thread about little Bohdi. My heart aches for you and what you have been going through. I'll post on your thread now...

Hi moon_beam

I know what you mean by there being no fast forward. Today when I lit the candles it was as if time stood still. It really brought it home at that moment how profoundly I am missing Bruno and how recent his passing actually is. I think it's easy to try to move on too quickly in life from grieving...but due care and attention must be paid to the grief process, I feel, because otherwise it can catch up on you and overwhelm you, as has happened to me today.

I hope you're also having a relaxing weekend moon_beam, and everyone else here. Eat well, take time to reflect, and rest lots. We are definitely not alone on this journey.

Take care

Peter

Hi, Peter, greetings to you and your dad across the "great pond" to the beautiful Emerald Isle this Sunday morning from Virginia. Yes, it is vitally important to allow yourself to grieve the physical loss of your precious Bruno. Trying to suppress it or rationalize it or become stoic only compounds the grief adjustment journey, and can actually cause both physical and emotional challenges further down the road. Our society in general, and that includes our global society for people are people no matter where you go, barely give us permission to grieve openly for the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Once the funeral or memorial service is performed, our society believes our grieving is over with - - life goes on, get on with it When it comes to our beloved companions, while we may initially receive sincere sympathy from human family members and friends, the feeling of "it's just a . . ." becomes obvious when they no longer want to "hear about it." And so, in order to "survive" in what is referred to as "the normal world" we suppress our grief and put on a "putblic face" so that others will not be angered or confused or embarrassed by our normal grief.

I know what it's like to have to do this - - both with my own immediate family members as well as when I'm at work and out and about in the public. So, I do my grieving privately here at home, and I know there is one place I can come to where I will be accepted for who I am and what I am feeling - - here among my friends on Lightning Strike.

So, Peter, please know you do not ever have to put on a "public face" here. Please know we will ALWAYS truly and sincerely and honestly want to know how you're doing both now and years down the road - - there is no "expiration date" here in this forum. Each phase of this grief adjustment journey is different, and each of us travel this grief adjustment journey differently. We are here for each other, and it is through our individual and collective strength that each of us find the courage and support and hope to keep moving forward in our earthly journey in a way that will honor our beloved companions.

This weekend has been a busy one. My garage has been a bit cluttered with recyclicables and special trash items. The weather has not been cooperative for me to go into the city to drop things off at the collection center, so I straightend up the garage a bit yesterday and organized things so that it isn't quite so cluttered now. I was a bit exhausted after that. I gated off the garage door that leads into the kitchen so that Noah could watch what I was doing, and he kept vigil over me until I was done. We are taking it easy today, and as I'm writing to you Noah is stretched out next to me in the sunbeams coming through the window. But I'm also "planning" in my mind on rearranging some things here in the basement living quarters to make the space more organized and easier to dust. But the actual physical employment of this "planning" will be done on a different day. Today is a "lazy day."

The sun is shining brightly and our temperatures are supposed to get into the upper 40's, maybe 50 something today and maybe tomorrow, but then they are to plummet again as a reminder that it is still definitely winter here. Snow is in the forecast for Thursday. I have arranged to have Thursday off from work iin anticipation of having some work done to upgrade my security system which monitors for fire, burglary, and medical emergencies. Knowing that efforts will be made to rescue Noah should a fire or break in occur while I'm not home is comforting to me, and since I'm the only human in the household and not getting any younger, having the medical alert is beneficial too. The upgrade will be to transfer the monitoring from a land line phone system to a cell phone system, which will then allow me to cancel my land line phone service and just use my cell phone. The land line phone service has become so expensive, and I have been keeping it primarily for the security system monitoring. The funds that I will "save" from not having to pay for a land line phone system will now go to paying the increase in electric service imposed by the electric company because of increased charges (not increased actual usage). This winter I have been using space heater in the basement living quarters instead of the furnace installed just for the basement, while only using the separate unit for the upstairs with the temperature turned down to about 65. I used the air conditioning very sparingly last summer here in the basement while relying primarily on fans to cool and circulate the air. It's incredible to me that the less electricity I use and try to conserve the higher my electric bill becomes because of the increased charges for the "privilege" of having electricity. In the 15 years I have been in my current home, my electric bill has tripled in cost. It does give me pause for the future years as I become more advanced in my senior years and budget conscious financial resources.

But - - enough of this. I hope today is a better one for you, Peter, and that you feel your Bruno's sweet Living Spirit with you. Please know you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers, Peter, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing. Say hello to the birds and other woodland critters in your garden for me.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Peter,
What a sweet face Bruno had. He looks like a love. Those of us who come here certainly know what you are going through. I am glad Moon-Beam said what she did about not having to put on a happy face here. This is the one place I can come now to really express how I am feeling about Zoe's death.
You have been very supportive of me and I want you to know I totally understand how you described coming home and missing Bruno's greeting you. Zack still greets me but he was always with his sister to greet me after a long day at work and a long commute. I can picture Bruno coming to greet you the way you described him in your note.
All I can say for both of us is to hang on until happier times come to us.
Joanne

Hi moon_beam

I'm glad you got your garage sorted out and I'm sorry to hear your electricity bill is expensive - are there alternative competitor electricity companies you could perhaps try? Regardless, you sound like you have your heating and air-conditioning well planned and I hope that you have comfortable days and nights as a result of this. I'm also glad to hear you're having your emergency system modified to suit your cell phone as opposed to your landline. It's great that Noah is clearly part of your plans and that you allow Noah the opportunity to watch over you. The little bird outside my window has started singing and it's 10.42pm (UK time) Sunday night. I've been getting used to the little bird now. Still not sure what kind of bird it is because it's very dark but it's a small little thing that sits on the same branch every night. I was worried that the little thing might not be able to eat if it's up all night, but it must be eating something somewhere because it's still there, singing its little heart out!

Hi Joanne it's tremendous to hear that little Zack greets you every day. Although Zoe is never far from your thoughts I bet that Zack's warm little body gives you great comfort.

This past week I've been okay I think. Well, actually, last Monday I cried my heart out until I was exhausted and fell asleep after watching Bruno's video...but since then I haven't been too bad and have gotten on with things. Each day I find myself still saying things to Bruno as if he's still with me...and I think that's because I believe he really is still with me, not physically of course, but around me and within me. I love him and miss him but take strength from believing that he has become part of me.

I hope you are all taking things gently. Treat yourself when possible and take care.